WHAT I BREATHE

1 Corinthians 13 (New International Version)

1 Corinthians 13
Love
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

How Do I Love Thee?

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Did you know that this poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning was recently chosen the greatest love poem of all time?

It explores the depth and greatness of love felt by one human being to another. Although the love she expresses in this poem is just as passionate as John Clare's 'First Love', it does not shout about the pain or suffering it brings, but has a quiet passion and strength. This is reflected in the rhythm and rhyme scheme that conveys a much more thoughtful and sedate type of love than that depicted in the free verses of John Clare.

I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.

It is not a love based on sudden or obsessive attraction, but is much deeper and draws its strength from intimate knowledge of the object of her love, her husband Robert. This love is also spiritual and she declares.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

She uses language that evokes an almost religious atmosphere with words such as 'Grace', 'Praise', 'faith', and 'saints', giving love a pure and holy sanctity that is above mere passions of the flesh. She says:

I love thee freely, as men strive for right
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise

Here Elizabeth Browning highlights the moral and virtuous aspects of love. She is making reference to man's freewill and capacity to do both good and evil and that the most righteous and worthy of all human endeavours is to choose freely to strive for what is good and right. She then equates this highest of all acts in God's sight, with the use of her own freewill to choose to love her husband.

She then highlights the purity and sinless quality of love by likening it to those who have finished praying and praising God. This evokes the image of people praying and asking for forgiveness and having being granted it, turning to go, sinless and pure as the day they were born. She us saying that her love is such a pure and immaculate nature. She even declares that this love will continue after the physical body has passed away.

Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and if God choose.
I shall but love thee better after death

Signifying that this love is not limited to physical desires, but transcends the human body and reaches a much higher and nobler level. She also equates her love for her husband with those things she needs to live, 'to the level of every day's Most quiet need'. In other words she loves him as much as her own life and this love is as essential to her as the food and drink that sustains her and the very air she breathes.

I'm simply blown away!

DEAR DIARY

01-22-09

I am 23 years old, err, young. Haha! I spent my birthday eve at Vudu with work mates – a handful of regular cabin attendants (CA’s), one cabin crew supervisor (CCS), and piles of unfamiliar faces. I was away from home but I felt very much happy, surprisingly. The secret? Well, I talked to the only people that mattered in my existence and I was complete. I talked to my Mom, my Ethan, my Kuya Evan and his wife Ruby, my Sister Jana and of course, my family outside family, my soulmate – AJ. I called up Kyt (my 3rd BFF) to solicit a greeting since she could have forgotten. Only Gillian of the three loves of my life wasnt able to greet me but its okay since she’s in Korea. After that, I received a text message from the men in my life – My baby brother Jino and my Dad. I have very fond memories of Jino.

I grew up sort of hating him for stealing my Dad – yup, I am a self-confessed Daddy’s girl. When I was 7, my Mom gave birth to him. I was a bad ate to him. I deprived him of cartoons, always bullying him around and I made sure he felt all the hate. Gawd, I was terrible. But this boy simply has a heart of gold – he didn’t hate me back! He loved me dearly. Mom would always tell stories to prove that. How the 7-year old Jino would take care of me whenever I was sick – I was the most sickly girl I knew, never failed at getting hospitalized yearly. Jino would put cold towel on my forehead, would wipe the vomit off the floor, would make me take medicine, etc. My little nurse! How he’s always tried to please me. My little angel! Now he’s all grown-up! He still cares for me but in less overt ways – still drives me to work, wakes up even at wee hours in the morning to do that. I love him dearly. How can he be so mature? He never held a grudge against me! I am truly blessed. Palajinjin, if you are reading this (which I know you arent cos you hate reading anything), I love you. So much. J

Anyways, going back.

I bought an LBD (little black dress), a pair of peep-toed shoes and wore my lips red. I enjoyed shopping at Ayala Center Cebu, very few people. Then Avi and I had coffee at Marco Polo. Then off to Vudu. Drank vodka with cherry and Sprite. Danced the night away. It didn’t take much effort to be happy, to feel alive, to be grateful. Because that was my natural self. I just needed to be extra happy, extra alive and extra grateful today because it was my birthday – i owe it to myself. So it was like that for me. For 24 hours, I was euphoric. I was high. My birthday started with shouts of “Pit senor!” at Vudu and ended shouting “Kampai!” at the Loft. Started with Vodka and ended with Gilbeys. This birthday of mine - January 18th of 2009 couldn’t get any more.. partylicious!

I never forget the things that happen in my birthdays. My 21st birthday was still the most memorable. Thanks to A.T. Haha, initials lang. Walang hiya ka Gillian! But my 23rd is also quite special. First time away from home. Maybe I should go to Cebu every sinulog for my birthday. Or go to a different place each time, some place I’ve never been to.

I am going to the beach tomorrow with my room mate Avi. Yey. Finally. The sun, the sand and the sea.

Jesse-bella

01-15-09

Home Sweet Cebu

I like it here in Cebu. I like it here a lot. I cringe to the thought of going back to Manila. In some kind of twisted truth, Cebu is like a fantasy, an escape from reality. And Manila in more ways than one is my reality. Whoever said that fantasy is better than reality must have had it right.

My Nokia 3650 has just died on me, after 5 long years. I have refused on selling it for a profit when I could have. I always thought that it’s irreplaceable because of its sentimental value – it was a birthday present from my Mom on my 18th birthday. But now, it’s just a piece of junk. Things are just things, no matter what. They just become somewhat important because of the value we put on them. But everything is dispensable. If people are dispensable, what more are things, just mere things?

I am stalling. Right. Talking about broken phones? When I know that I am in front of the computer right now to talk of only one thing – Junlas.

What are you doing?

I’m just listening to music, and you?

I’m still thinking of you, i miss you..

I hear that from you a lot. Don’t worry you’ll get to see me soon, won’t you?

Yeah, I’ll see you soon. Are we just friends or what?

Well yes we’re friends. I’ll be what I can be to you. I figured you already have a gf. So rather than be strangers to each other, then why not be friends right. Friendship’s cool.

You don’t really like me, it’s very obvious..

Hello? I just told you I can be what I can be to you! If I can be your gf, then I’ll be! But it’s very obvious that I can’t be your gf because you already have one

I already have one to tell you honestly, but I really do like you..

Aww..so you like me, that’s sweet of you hehe. Of course you have a gf. Don’t worry, I’m not here to steal you away from here. We can be friends and I’m fine with that. Friendship’s enough for me.

Thanks for being honest with me

I’m so sorry..

Sorry for what? Don’t be.

For causing problems..

No you didn’t cause or bring problems or anything like that.

Your gf is lucky to have you. There’s something special about you. Something special

Like what?

I can’t tell exactly what. I just know that you are. Something tells me that you are and I am sorry too that I had to look for you. I couldn’t help myself hehe

I was looking for you too.. I thought you were gone forever..

I can’t be gone forever. I knew I was gonne find you if you don’t find me. Hehe. And I did find you right?

Can you still be my gf?

Junjun, I won’t think of you that way anymore. Cos i don’t wanna “covet” my neighbor’s boyfriend or something like that. Cos that’s something that i wouldn’t want others to do to me! So that means you’re safe with me. I’m harmless. :)

Well, to be honest, I wouldn’t put myself through that kind of pain or suffering that comes with being just the “other” girl. I know I deserve more than that, no offense. That’s why I told you before that “if meron, don’t even think about it”, remember?

But what about me?Are you just gonna ignore me after this?

“What about me?” – You’re like a kid. I won’t ignore you. Only if you want me to.

Just stay with me please? Don’t leave me.. :(

I’ll just be here. I’m not going away, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here if you want me to. But I’ll also leave if you want me to. If my presence becomes bad for you. Mygawd, i feel like a mom trying to give his lil boy whatever he wants!haha

Do you really have a flight today?

Of course I “really” have a flight today! And maybe I’ll try to sleep even for a few minutes now if you’ll let me. I’m glad we’ve had this conversation. Again, thanks for being honest, for telling me what’s on your mind. I appreciate it.

Good night

I wish I didn’t have a flight today. You sleep tight ok? And junjun, it’s ok if you decide to ignore me nalang after this, i’ll understand. Cos I have a feeling that I’m no good for you, that I’ll cause you trouble..

Stay with me okay?

Okay now, good night.

You take care..

Where are you right now?

I just woke up. My schedule’s insane! I miss you

Okay, so I didn’t really talk about Junjun just now. What I did was I simply typed the whole exchange of text messages between us! I don’t have the strength to theorize and psychoanalize and all those other psycho stuff that i do. I tend to overthink but still never did I imagine or see this one coming. I never saw Junlas coming. It’s been almost a week since I last saw him. Just like the last message I sent him, I do.. miss.. him. I think i really do miss him. I couldn’t let myself fall in love with him. I have to guard my heart. With all my might! If someone’s gonna fall in love, it is not gonna be me! Please! For crying out loud, he’s already taken! I really have to stay away, to run away as fast and as far as I can. But I also can’t do that. I meant every word i said to him. I am not going away. I will not run away from this. I’ll be his friend, if that’s what I can be to him. If he doesn’t text, then he doesn’t. If he chooses to ignore me, then so be it. I’ll do what i said I will. I’ll understand.

But at the same time, I’ll be ready when lightning strikes. Whether it be Junlas himself... or someone else. If someone else comes along, someone who can be what i’ve wanted Junlas to be for me, then I’ll let things fall where they may be.

No more mind games. I am incapable of games anyway. Just as I am incapable of secrecy. I can only speak the truth.

01-08-09

Incheon, Korea

“I’m flattered Junlas but I think I already know by now that you only want one thing from me and it’s not something that I’m willing to give.”

“You know what?! I’m not like that! If you think I only want sex, you’re wrong! I’m insulted a little bit. Dili na taka samokon. You take care always!”

So what do you want? Since I “found” you, I just couldn’t figure you out. Is it sex you want? Relationship, love, friendship, games, what? I don’t want you to just disappear but is that what you want? To never see me again?

It’s very simple, I want you to be my gf..

Don’t you already have a gf (s)?

What if I’ll say wala, what are you gonna do?

Well if wala, then I can be what you want me to be. If meron, then don’t even think about it.

When can I see you again? I miss you

I’ll be in Korea for 2 days. I’ll see you when I see you. Be safe

01-07-09

Majestic Restaurant

Jesse:

“Junjun!”

01-07-09 2am

JunLas:

“Good morning. I’m sorry if I had to go early, I really wanted to stay longer with you but my teammates were so kulit and they kept on asking where I was. I have to tell you something, I hope you wouldn’t mind. But I think, “like” isn’t the perfect word for you anymore, I think it’s already love. I love you, and I mean it.”

01-07-09 10am

I let that stupid text linger on my mind the whole day – from the moment I woke up until flight 5J-571 touched down (8pm). And then he called three times, as if he knew exactly that I have reached the ground already and phone signal’s restored. He asked me if I was mad. I asked him if he was drunk when he texted me that. He said he wasn’t drunk. He said he loved me and he missed me.

That was his last attempt to try to get me. I called out his name out of frustration, of disappointment. But he probably thought that it was a call of begging, of reconsideration, that I probably have changed my mind afterall. The both of us knew what we wanted from each other. And both are selfish, human needs. I wanted a boyfriend out of him. And he wanted sex out of me. Plain and simple. Is wanting sex bad? No. Is wanting a boyfriend bad? No. So I can’t make him out to be the bad guy. The same way that I can’t put the blame on me for all this. And I am not simply rationalizing his behavior. I just understand. I just see things differently. I try to see things in a simple way, past all the complexities. If he texted me that way as his last attempt to get what he wanted, well I couldn’t blame him. Wasn’t I thinking of a million ways to manipulate him as well? All we could really do is try to get what we want. Maybe if I wanted sex from him as well then we’d both be happy – both needs met. But that is not the case. Should I even try to think of a compromise? Of a win-win situation? Or just simply get out of the situation? I say, get out.

And I’m out.

01-06-09

YO.U.

I saw him again today – my demon angel. I had to return his necklace anyway. After a 2-day tug-o-war with Junjun, he’s probably finally decided that he couldn’t get me. I simply couldnt give him what he wanted. When your needs arent met, youd have no choice but to go somewhere else. And I could live without him thank you very much. I coudnt say I didnt get warned. Greg was the superhero of the day. Everything he told me about Junjun was absofuckinlutely true. Even if I was forewarned, my feelings still werent spared. I felt bad because I was too optimistic about this Junjun. You win some, you lose some.

I’ll be back flying tomorrow. How I missed flying! I had a long vacation. Thanks to Junjun and I can’t wait to go back to work – back to doing things that I love and make me happy! I wouldnt want to be with someone who makes my self-esteem drop below bowling point. L No girl deserves that. Life goes on for me, and I will bounce back on a happier and higher note. It’s my birth month after all, and I couldn’t but be happy! :)

01-05-09

Cassanova

I felt it. I felt the heat, the passion of wanting someone so bad. It won’t be erased from my memory, ever. This was a first. So that was what it felt like, huh? That’s what so many people have been talking about. What a feeling. Whoosh! I was in front of him and I felt dizzy. I got knocked off my feet. When we got home, my friend kept askin me what he and I talked about, and suddenly I was lost in my thoughts, thoughts of him, of what had occured earlier..and I fell off my chair in the dining room! During those few seconds or maybe minutes with him, I felt so weak. I never felt so vulnerable before. And I could hear myself tell him, “Behave.” But I should have directed that “request” to myself. I never thought I could be capable of such human emotions or rather, desires. I’ve always thought of myself as a stone, as cold as a stone, “Bato ka Jesse!” as my friends would always tease me. But I melted in his eyes, and literally in his arms, man! Oh boy. I melted like a tiny piece of snow. Then I burned.

I don’t care if I ever see him again. I don’t care if I ever hear from him again. I won’t bother to text him or to look for him anywhere – in the net, in Cebu or whereever he might be. I’ve learned something about myself tonight. Hindi pala ako bato!!!!! Ha! I am so relieved.

But I am still me. I am still whole. Still in one piece. No more, no less. Just more self-aware. J

December 31, 2008

My laptop is brand new and it has got nothing yet except for JunJun Lasala’s picture with a little girl (no, not me and ew, the picture’s my wallpaper, freaky psycho me), my journal entries (just two at the moment) and 2 pictures with my mom taken using the webcam. And oh, one song: Twilight’s prom song, Flightless Bird. Herbs and Spices.

I saw Joseph Torrijos at the airport. Spell – College crush, co-guilder at Harlequin. He remembered my name. When I used to ump into inside the campus or even at malls, he would always search his brains trying to recall my name but was never successful haha. I wonder what he’s doing in Cebu. We just said a quick hi and goodbye and of course some awkward comments on my part such as “Good thing you recognized me?” (What – am i now a Hollywoord actress in disguise?) and “Gotta go, bye.” (What – i couldn’t wait to count the casseroles and TSU’s when most of the passengers haven’t even deplaned yet?Tsk.) Anyway, it’s Joseph. I am always silly and stupid around him. He has that effect on me. Hahahaha.

I flew to Incheon, Korea today. There were many newly wed couples onboard our flight as evidenced by the matching shirts they wore. Arrgh couples. How do they find each other? In this vast universe, how do they find one another? Okay fine, from this point forward I am not going to expect anything anymore! My sister who got dumped by her fiance a couple of months ago already has a new boyfriend! Just like that! She met her online. Actually, he found her online. Friendster. What’s new? He’s Rey Magtoto’s son, a family friend. He’s a decent guy and I am happy for my baby sister. As for atchie, that’s me by the way, I don’t know what to expect anymore. My sister sent me this message not long after she confessed that she has a new guy:

“Don’t worry about falling in love. Like in most fairytales, they don’t find each other until the very last page.”

When I whine about not having had a boyfriend yet at 22 (turning 23 in a few days!), people react positively and never fail to give comforting words such as “You’re too young to be worrying about such things”, that “you are beautiful and young and smart and you will meet someone soon”, “You don’t have to hurry love”, etc, etc. Easy for them to say because they have found someone already. It is almost like a knee-jerk reaction to say those things to someone who’s sulking about being single. I do that. I should know because I do that. I cheer people up when they start with their self-depreciating speeches. How many times have I reassured Mom that she’ll find someone to grow old with, Aimee that she’ll find her soulmate soon. Maybe I should stop doing that.

I got over Louie in an instant because I knew within 5 minutes of talking to him face-to-face that he ain’t the one. I might not know exactly what I want but I do know what I don’t want. And I don’t want Louie. I got over Paolo in 3 hours. A batman movie and some side comments from him were all it took to say goodbye to him. You see, I was in love not with these guys, but with the fantasy of them. I have conjured up images of them in my mind and when I have found out that they were nothing like the way I pictured them out to be, then they’re OUT. All it takes for me to hit the exit button is to see them, talk to them, feel them, touch them. All my senses working together in discovering if there’s something there. Finding a connection. As for Cyril, nope. Not him either. Next.

You see, my greatest hindrance could be my own self. It always has been a battle inside of me. I am single because of my own choices. And I can live with that, for now. I decide for myself. I may look as if I seek reassurance from other people but in fact, I don’t. I only do what I want. Roy could be right when he said I am “sunod sa gusto.” Am I simply a slave to my whims? Could I be any more mature? I have things yet to learn. Greg was wrong when he said there’s nothing to learn from getting mixed up with JunJun Lasala. I need to learn something. There has got to be a learning experience from out of all this. I just can’t walk away without getting my heart broken or at the very least, saying: “What was I thinking?” I need to make mistakes, more mistakes until I get it right. I can’t leave things with “what if’s”. I have to be sure that he’s a jerk before I call it a day. If he is, then yey “I was right”, yet again.

If I’m wrong about him, then I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. That’s it, you see. I don’t know how to be happy. I am happy happy. But I haven’t experienced being in love or being “happy” in that sense. I am happy in the company of myself. Outside my self, I am happy with my family and my friends especially with my brighest star Angeline.

My relationship with my Creator is a personal relationship that couldn’t be put into words. At mass last Sunday, Fr. Paul de Guzman couldn’t have emphasized more the importance of finding and loving someone, of building a holy family with that someone. He said we need one another, that we should look after one another as brothers and sisters in Christ. That as Pinoy cliche as it might sound, we are not either Kapuso or Kapamilya but are both. Yes, that is what I want. Real happiness and true love. Two things that only God could give. All the rest I can live without. When I look deep into my heart, I know I need to seek God first. He will show me the way. He always does. He has all the answers I am looking for. All I need to do is ask, seek and knock, Only he has the answers. And I could only trust him. I can only do what I can. And I can only trust Him.

December 29, 2008

Pier One, Cebu

Don’t expect me to say the appropriate things all the time because most of the time, I don’t. I said something that struck a nerve to J.C. and the white honda city skidded and almost crashed with a cab at the intersection. That was close. I love fast cars. Always have. And I wasn’t a bit scared when the car came to a complete halt, almost forcing me onto the wind shield. I don’t get scared easily. BUT I am not into extreme stuff, either. There’s nothing attractive and thrilling about escaping danger. Why chase danger only to try to escape from it afterwards? If you go for danger, then be prepared to be doomed. I’ll make sure to keep my mouth shut about sensitive things (spell: sex, belief systems, etc.) when in a car with someone shaky and unstable at the driver seat and MOST especially when I’m inside the cockpit.

Cebu is weird. You meet weird people. People almost as weird as me. I spoke to Greg Slaughter and asked about his friend who just happened to be the “it” guy in my own personal universe at this time. Everything Greg has said for a good 30 minutes is still difficult for me to comprehend. Sometimes I think I am not as smart as I think I am. I can’t distinguish what’s good for me and what’s not. And have I not fallen prey to bad guys in the past? But they didn’t lure me. I lured myself to them. Gee, I guess I am wrong when I said I am not into extreme dangerous stuff because I crave dangerous stuff. I am so into it. I am addicted to it. Safe never appealed to me. As good guys never did. Why couldn’t I just choose one decent guy and live a simple, happy life with him? What am I searching for? This is twisted. Could this be true? As much as this realization has never crossed my mind before, there’s no denying that this could be true. It’s a sick cycle for me. What do I really want? Why do I do the things that I do? Look at your goals. Look deeper Jesse, deeper. What is it that you really want?

Five C's

I was writing endlessly for about 3o minutes already when this stupid laptop just went black for a second, as if it blinked or something then poof! It's as if a whole chapter from a book just vanished without a trace! I already covered pretty much all the topics I wanted to talk about or rave about - Christmas, Cebu, Cyril - that's Three C's if you haven't noticed haha. Well, I just have to start over then. Or scrap all those.

What ever happened to "auto-save"? Shucks. Is this trying to tell me something? Telling me to always save. To SAVE! To save.

Remember Cyril? That scrawny, pale-skinned, seemingly timid and mysterious "boy". Apparently, hindi kami talo! Oh my gosh hehe. Pretty ironic, isn't it? But what else can I do but ignore the mocking irony of it all and just laugh! It's funny after all. So I'll just hope that the next guy I get attracted to won't turn out to be a patholigal liar, psycho, mama's boy or.. gay. I've always liked surpirses! Supprise!

I am loving it in Cebu! Avi and I just moved out from Munoz - that place was a bartolina - to a 2-bedroom, spacious and aircon-centralized house!This is big.

I just got regularized last December 10, 2008! It has been six months already? Whew, how time flies. Damn fast! In no time, six months in Cebu wil be over. And pretty soon, I'll be living in Manila permanently again. Not unless I bid to be based in Davao perhaps? I don't have anything definite as of now. But I am confident that I will make the right choices. I have pretty much an idea of what I need to accomplish in Cebu. Goals that are specific, attainable, realistic and measurable. Not some immature childish goals that sound like "to have a boyfriend". What ever happened to the law of attraction? Why was I not able to attract love when all I could think of was finding it? Love, after all, seems to defy all known laws. Gee, L-O-V-E.

My three loves - Aj, Gillian and Kyt have been missing in action. I don't know if I'd get to see them tomorrow. But then, it's fine. I am giving them freedom. Letting them breathe. We are letting each other breathe.

My two other great Loves. Mom and Ethan. We are becoming this unlikely trio. We always have incredible amount of fun together! Ethan's soft kisses are to die for! His kisses are so tender, so soft, so innocent, so sweet, so full of love! When I asked him who taught him that, he just answered "Me lang". But when his crazy side gets the better of him, he bites people much like a rabis-infected dog, or no, more like a blood-thirsty vampire!

Which of course brings us to the topics of vampires. All conversations and thoughts I have lately ultimately find their way to Twilight. I am obsessed with it. I am not quite sure yet whether I love it or hate it. Is it possible to hate and love something or someone at the same time and at the same intensity? I don't know if Edward Cullen makes me sick or if he makes me just want to tell him "Bite me". This obsession will continue to haunt me in the next few months I'm guessing. I'll find a way to get the books, and get for others too.

I am getting prettier, sexier, healthier, wiser, smarter, happier and I hope, humbler. Hehe. I am getting more hoepeful, optmisitc, grateful and blessed. I am also getting older, but hell, it is only the body that withers. My soul is young and alive forever. I am asking for God's guidance. I still haven't figured out everything else. And I know I don't have to. Life is beautiful. No need to complicate it. I just have to know what I am here for. And I pretty much have an idea what that is.

I find peace and Comfort in that knowledge. In Christ.

Jesse

What makes a great boyfriend / girlfriend?

Someone who knows what you need before you say it.
Someone who knows when to laugh and when to cry.
Someone who truly listens when you have something to say.
Someone that's there for you during the good and bad times.
Someone who is caring .
Someone who loves you with all their heart and soul.
Someone who is interested in reality and not as a fashion display.
Someone who is honest.
Someone you can trust them like a sibling, confide in like a friend but most of all, love as the great lover they are.
Someone who is open and responsive.
Someone who is never critical and ill-tempered in respect to your needs.
Someone who knows when things have to be compromised in the relationship.
Someone who understands listening is a key, but using what is heard is even more important.
Someone who's there for you no matter what.
Someone who is trustful.
Someone who is a friend.
Someone who gives a shoulder to cry on.
Someone with a great sense of humor.
Someone who has things in common with you.
Someone who takes time to listen and enjoy you for who you are and tries not to make you something else.
Someone with a constant open ear, open heart, and open mind to accept and love people for who the really are.
Someone who will always be there to support your ideas without argument and love you for everything that you are.
Someone that can get a point across without yelling.
Someone that remembers all the cute stupid stuff you love.
Someone that has a personality with qualities you don't have yourself, but admire greatly in them.
Someone who realizes you're two separate people, and appreciates the differences.
Someone who can sense a mood problem, and not take it personally.
Someone who understands the difference between PMS, and a real problem.
Someone who can make you happy when your sad.
Someone who tells you the truth even if you don't want to hear it.
Someone who will not hurt you intentionally.
Someone who is a sweet, romantic person who cherishes you no matter what.
Someone that you can laugh with.
Someone who you can feel comfortable with and that you don't care what kind of weird stuff they see you do because you know they will still love you no matter what.
Someone who will love you in spite of your little idiosyncrasies.
Someone that would do anything to show how much they care.
Someone who is a great pal, a great kisser, and a great lover!
Someone who allows you to be yourself around them.
Someone who will respect you.
Someone who cherishes your hopes and is kind to your dreams.
Someone who knows you're not perfect, but treats you as though you are.
Someone who listens with their heart and is your source of inspiration.

Cebu Aftershock

October 31, 2008 - I flew to Cebu with my batchmates Avi and Sheila and the some batch 44 girlies - Pao, Caicai, Tala, Glace and Haze. There were CCA's onboard as well (Chief Cabin Attendant) Jen Foo, Dong and Jon. Then Sir Pao toured us around the Mactan International Airport. We ate decent food at the Crown Regency Villa. Right before dinner, Myke (yes, he spells his name that way), the load controller of Cebu accompanied us to where Trixie Regalado and some other batch 44s were staying.

November 1, 2008 - I was off this day, and Myke drove me around Mactan island looking for a place to stay for me and Avi. Some leasor even thought we were looking for a place as a couple. Haha, I bet Myke found it amusing. I almost chuckled! It has become clear to me today that only I and Avi are staying in Cebu for the whole duration of this thing. Miss Zsa Zsa Padilla lookalike here is leaving on the 27th. Couldn't blame Sheila. Why do something that you absolutely don't have to do? She's rich, she doesn't need a job that would keep her away from her baby (literal baby) and her pseudo-hubby which she calls jowa. As for Avi, she's my "You jump, I jump" girl. I was gonna settle for a room but Munoz 3 had no vacancy. Munoz1 just might be the one for me and Avi. But man, they have to do something about the smell! More about that later..

November 2, 2008 - Amazing that as I am typing these stuff now, I could still remember the stuff I did 6-7 days ago, I normally don't remember hehe. I was charged an MA today aka Missed Assignment. I knew that my flight today was 7am and not 8am. But I chose to believe that it was 8am so I could sleep a little longer. So by the time I arrived at the office at 6:20, I was already 25 minutes late for my reporting time. Sir Noy was so good, he was able to figure out in no time that no one else was to be held accountable and responsible for this happening but M-E. I failed to answer the call from the monitoring clerk. I failed to make sure with the OCC my sked when i called. I failed to check my DTS. And most of all, I believed a hearsay. So, it was a lesson for me, to never take the signs for granted. To be absolutely sure about important things. I couldn't take things so lightly after this. Minutes, even seconds matter! It's better to be at least 30 minutes early and not just 10 mins. Well, I guess there really is a first time for everything. I went to Gaisano mall with the 6 soon to be Batch44 housemates, Reggie in addition to them. I bought a nice pair of black bikinis! It's not the usual triangle padded bra, but the tube type. Not very flattering for a flat-chested girl like me, but hell do I care. I am glad I don't have breasts. Hehe. Tala and I went swimming at the hotel pool. It was friggin cold in the water but after a while, the cold didn't bother us anymore. It's just a matter of getting used to I guess. Why is it hard to tread or float in a 4-feet pool? It was a lot easier to float when it was 9 feet and the whole training depended on passing the swimming test wasn't it? Reggie had an atenista boyfriend, and not just any atenista but the point guard of the blue eagles - none other than the team Chris Tiu played with! Chris Tiu - man, he is so dreamy. SO perfect. I saw him play in "Kakasa Ka Ba sa Grade 5?" and I was like, "Could you be more perfect?" Anyway, he's not human. They say he's Tiuperman. Haha. Corny. If I see him and I think I will, I'll give him a piece of me. Haha, whatever Jesse, whatever. I don't know what's with Ateneans being soooo boyfriend-material in my eyes. Is it because I am from La Salle and I have run out of boys from my own school that's why I am wondering what's over the bakod? hehe. How will I meet Ateneans now that I'm in Cebu? There's not even a single Atenean in Cebu Pacific, at least not in my department. I bet even Lance Gokongwei is from LaSalle. I've met a few Lasallian FAs - Jonas, Em, Paula Chan, Nadz, Toniboy and JD and even one Captain. Maybe there are Ateneans in other departments. Is Cyril Atenean? He looks like one. Very neat-looking like Chris Tiu. He even looks like him! But they say Cyril is gay! Is he? I don't know. And I don't know if I'll ever know. I am tempted to come up to him and say to his face that I like him. But Roy said that would be oh-so-wrong! Then I told Roy I just couldn't let fate do all the work. Then Roy said, faith Jesse and not fate. He is right. I find myself opposing his ideas and opinions but I know he is right most of the time. When did I become so desperate, impatient and cynical when it comes to love? I just don't want to expect anymore. But isn't it that I still could hope? Isn't hoping different from expecting? When did the line blur? Anyway.

November 3, 2008 - I was HR (Home Reserve) and they didn't upgrade me. They say an HR never gets upgraded in Cebu. Now I know better not to believe everything that they say, don't I? So in cases like this, it's always better to be safe than sorry. SO, I brought my trolley with me in Ayala Mall as I, Avi and Sheila had our first outside-Mactan Island experience as we went shopping or "malling" (a term only used in the Philippines) at Ayala Mall Cebu. Ayala mall was like home away from home haha. Almost felt like I was back in Manila, just strolling in ATC. We ate in My Joy . The sweet and spicy HOT ribs Avi and I had was great! Not bad for a P130 drink-exlusive meal! I almost lost my new phone today! I carelessly placed it on top of the tiangge booth! The horror! Thank goodness for good people, for honest people. The saleslady told Avi and Sheila who were standing nearby that their companion (me) left her phone. It took almost 5 minutes for me to realize I lost it. I was so sure I was gonna buy the same phone because I just couldn't bear telling Mom I lost the phone she bought with her credit card. Although I was the one who's gonna pay for the credit card bill, I just thought that I couldn't have her disappointed in me like that. I really gotta learn a big deal about being resposible for my things. I am still looking for AJ's book. I need to find it. I need to take care of borrowed things (most especially!!!). I will look for it and when I find it, I'll deliver it straight to AJ. Sigh. Moving on. I bought full support stockings and 2 new brassiers today. Yey I didnt spend on useless stuff. I am really getting stingier and that is good!

November 4, 2008 - First Regional flight from Cebu - a red eye Hong Kong with Jen Foo and flying partner Jungie Faith. I have flown with several FAs who tell stories about having uber rich suitors lavishing them with expensive gifts such as appliances, shopping sprees etc. I thought at first "why I don't have suitors like those" then I remembered the suitors I've had in the past. I've had a handful of uber rich suitors as well and on top of it, they were my age! I bet those suitors those FAs have are uhm, "mature". hehe. Anyway, love lives are just the favorite topics inflight. Sometimes I am amused but most of the time, Im not. Dianne Alcantara warned me about cute chinese guys in Cebu. Are there really? We'll see, :) Maybe it's about time I stop looking for Mr Right and be happy with Mr Right Now. Say that again Jess?!!! Nahh.. Will I have a passenger for a boylet? I have no idea.

November 5, 2008 - Off because I came from a red eye flighy. I'll have Incheon back to back a couple of days from now. Two words: Good Luck. I slept almost all afternoon. Then beat the clock by rushing to Munoz with Avi. The place is tiny. The refrigerator is cramped. And the smell of cat poop is pure horror! But the price screams "YES!". There are tons of cebupac FAs staying there, so why not us as well. Well, am I settling down to something not worth settling down to? I thought I wanted something similar to the queenly room I had in Singapore. But I know I can make something ordinary or even ugly become beautiful, don't I? Or should I not stop until I have checked out every available room in the island? The decision's not solely for me to make. I'll wait what Avi thinks. We'll make the decision as a couple hehe. I am sure I'll have a blast with her as my room mate. Since training, Avi and I have always become "You jump, I jump" kind of friends. Sometimes she is so full of bullshit, but hey, so am I. I get her weirdness. And she gets mine as well. I am looking forward to double dates with her. Cebu will be a blast with her on my side! And Sheila, my darling Sheila, I am starting to grow on her and she to me. Always teasing me that I'll have a boyfriend not anytime soon but 5 years from now! She is crazy. But then she's quick to comeback and reassure me in a sisterly kind of tone that I will find the right one soon and continues on with the feel-good speech. And it works. It works on me. :) I am glad I have found new friends in CebuPac. I really am.

November 6, 2008 - The dreaded 550 flight. This time I was sure that this particular 550 flight was an 8am flight and not the 7am 550 I missed. I checked my DTS and this time, I was sure. How dare the CCS think that I was gonna be MA again. No dear, sorry, that is never gonna happen again. I am now sigurista when it comes to my flight schedules. Flying partner Faith was L1 today. She and Camae were so paranoid about the whoozing sound while near descent. They could't be more paranoid I'm telling yah. Well, I couldn't blame them. I am just as paranoid at times. What more if I was L1 of the flight right? I also deadheaded back home in the 572 flight where the crew were flying 6 legs that day. What the fuck was that. I want that. Just for the sake of experiencing being abused beyond the current condition. hehe. I deadheaded with Maristelle and a first office pilot whose name I didn't get. Maristelle made me so excited about moving in to Munoz where she is currently staying and loving it. I am excited about bringing out the interior designer in me. My special skills if there are any. And now I am thinking that I need a laptop of my own. But I couldn't possibly buy here in the Phils cos laptops here are just so damn expensive. I'll buy in Singapore when I finally have my FOC (free of charge) international flights. Can my need for a laptop wait? It better. Cause saving up is becoming my priority now and I intend it to be that way. I love LOVE the wealth of knowledge the "wealth channel" has been feeding me. Cable TV is just one of the greatest inventions hehe. Avi and I will get a TV? Should I get a cable given how expensive it is? We'll see. I felt like I didnt leave when I reached T3 and the domestic road based Cebu Pacific office. I did the usual routine - changing to commute clothes at the lounge except that this time I took the Baclaran jeepney and not the usual taxi ride to Baclaran. I need to go back to my tipid ways. I cannot afford to waste money on transportation. I'd rather spend money on food and other things other than transportation. I saw HighSchool Musical with AJ in SM Southmall. Kyt didn't join us cause she wanted to watch My Only You and just as if on cue, Mack came to pick her up. Maybe My Only You could have been more worth the P130 movie ticket. HSM3 was just so lame. So Gabriella Montes was going to take up pre-law. Been there, done that. Geez, why lawschool? And I thought I had unique dreams. Hehe.

November 7, 2008 - I slept over at AJ's house. We feasted on Ferrero and Cadbury's Caramellos. We also had Rocky Road Ice Cream at 7-11 hehe. We watched TV until we fell asleep. She gave me a shirt with printed words "I miss you so" in front. I've always been vocal and cheesy at that about my affection towards her. She is my most special friend and I want to make sure she knows that. This world is a better place to live in with her in it. More fun, easier, less problematic. Aj is my family. She is the closest thing I have to a twin. She is my family outside my family. I will see her on the 27th, on my next trip to Manila. I don't think I'll get to see Gillian tomorrow or rather today. I'll prolly sleep then off to Terminal 3 I go.

November 8, 2008 - As I am typing right now, my mind is just twirling around due to extreme sleepiness. But I needed to finish my weeklong entry. I must because if I don't then I'd prolly soon forget about my Cebu escapades. Journals are important and I am intent to record them, though some or a lot of the details may be foregone. Returning home, felt like I never left. The same way, I'd prolly feel that I never left Singapore when or if I ever go back. My job as a flight attendant in Cebu Pacific is unstable, to the very word. One wrong movie and tsugibells already. But hey, I should know by now that nothing really in life is 100% sure. So I just should take pleasure in knowing that what's meant to happen will happen. I mean, I could only do so much. There are things I can change and I will if I can do something about it. For all other things, I just have to have faith as Dad told me today. My dad is a darling. He and I have a special bond, maybe it's because I am his first-born? Maybe. And as much as I love my Mom so soooo SO much, I believe I am a "daddy's girl" by heart. I have baby pictures with him that I am so fond of. I look awfully a lot like him. I share the same love of reading as him. I even want to be a lawyer just like him but not the same lawyer that he was, mind you. I am not gonna follow his footsteps cause I will wade unchartered territory. I have inherited Dad's strengths but I will forsake his weaknesses. I will make sure that his mistakes are not repeated by me. Though he told me before that I am his pride, I will even make him prouder. I am Jesus Pinlac's girl. I am my daddy's girl and will always be. I am so excited about my trips with him. I have a lot to look forward to. But I told myself I won't let myself be disappointed when things don't go my way. Things always get better anyway. They always do though it may not always seem to be. Anyway, I am learning and I am happy.

P.s.
I am going to meet this Cebuano guy in December. I've met him once in Singapore and after a year or so, I'd get to see him again. AS much eager and excited as i am, he doesn't seem to be a bit psyched about it. He seems to be more psyched about meeting my friend in Korea where he's staying for a while. Me and boys. Boys and me. And then there's my good old Lucky meeting my former rival to his love, none other than Denise in Vegas next year for her birthday. And I couldn't believe I am getting jealous. As I saw her comments in Lucky's friendster profile, I could feel the old rivalry revving up! And then as I was talking to her on YM, she asked me if I was getting jealous. I brushed it off and said "He's like a brother to me." Which of course was true. I remember what Mom remarked about it and I was shocked to hear her say that. I'd rather not say it here cause I still want to be able to respect my mom hehe. Anyway, I felt in a way that other girls could have Lucky but not Denise. Well why not? I dont know. It was like natural instinct for me, much like a knee-jerk reaction to not let Denise have him. Because even if Lucky and I are just friends (and I want it that way), he still ended up with me and not Denise cause he became a close friend of mine, he was my friend and not hers. With him being close to Denise again even if just as friends, could mean she succeeding in "stealing" him from me again, or was it "winning him back". I don't know. Highschool brings back weird feelings, immature tendencies. Anyway, laters.

Jesse

Last Night in Manila, Off to Cebu in the Mawnin

I feel so weak and just so tired from being awake for too many hours! You know how I love sleeping and must sleep at least 10 hours a day as much as i love to sleep up to 12 hours! Anyway, I still hadn't done packing my things. I will in about 3 hours. I'll take a few hours sleep then pack in about 3 hours then off I go to the Domestic Road. Tito Boy had better get here or I'll be forced to take public transportation carrying Jana's humongous pink suitcase! Having a car and not being able to use it sucks! Getting a car is not yet in my plans as of now. Staying in Cebu ain't permanent. There's too much to do in this lifetime that doing something or being in a place for too long doesn't seem like an option for me! I just haven't made up my mind on everything yet! But I know I am getting there. Cebu Pacific now, maybe some international airlines later. Given the high turnover rate in this airline, I don't think I'm not one who'll stay unless I am forced to stay. Because as of now, nothing and no one is holding me back. I don't have a kid or a boyfriend or something like that. But I do have a family - the family that I was born into - who expects me to provide for them. But you see, I can only do what I can do. We can only do what we can. If I can't pay the meralco bill this month, then I won't. I won't because I can't. I would if I could, wouldn't I? And my family wouldn't perish without me. I am that indispensable, no one is. Except of course those people that we have made the reason for our existence, the source of our happiness. Those people become indispensable to us. But you see, we can't hold on too someone and treat them as indispensable in our lives. Because the truth is, we can't hold on to each other forever.. right? It is just not physically possible.

I had fun at work today. I flew with Em, Ruby and (drum roll), JD! JD was the one I flew with during my IOE and now I get to fly with him again on my last flight in Manila. He's cool. There really is something about Lasalista boys. They are just so barkada-material! They are the best when it comes to stomach-aching laugh bouts and it never gets dull with them! Em is the only Lasalista girl I've known who was a true blue, errr green lasallian - from kindergarten until college! And why do Lasalista girls talk like, like the way Em does! It gets to me, but then I sometimes hear myself talk exactly the same!~ weirdness.


I am going to Cebu. I want to have a room like the one I had in Singapore, with Doty! A nice bath tub, colorful walls, a humongous closet with full length mirror! A nice dresser, air conditioner, stove, water heater, even a washing machine! And of course, wi-fi internet for free! That room I shared with Doty is just the best room ever, EVER! We'll see how my new room will fare next to the Towner Road HDB I had. :) Ooops, which reminds me, I need to charge my camera batteries! I can't afford not to take pictures. As I've said, all this moving and staying and working is TEMPORARY. I do not think I'll be settling down any time soon, or at least not in the next 5 years?! SO, i had better just enjoy the ride! Enjoy the journey! There's nothing better to do anyway. I will have fun, just as I promised AJ. There's no other sensible thing to do besides that! GOOD thing I found out that there are internet computer stands inside the airport! Just like the ones we had in the DLSU Library! That is just perfect. So what if I don't have a laptop yet? I'll have one some time, just as I will have a new car for myself soon, perhaps a boyfriend that and other boyfriends in between (hehe) , a husband, a house, kids etc. I will have all these, one at a time. :)

What do I see in my future? Pretty vague, but it will get clearer soon as I make up my mind on the details along the way. There is Cebu now. Maybe there'll be Singapore again, Davao - Clark - Emirates - Qatar - Etihad - Asiana -California - Los Angeles - Sydney - Canberra -Spain - Las Piñas - Law School -Ateneo Law School - Madrid - one kid - a dozen kid - marriage - Korea - travels. and the list goes on. This list will get longer or it will get shorter. Some items will be deleted and some added.

Now I'm gonna sleep and when I wake up, the Cebu adventure officially begins. The future starts here. The future is here and it is now. :)

D-E-T-A-I-L-S

There's a wealth of wisdom in this verse: "For want of a nail the shoe is lost, for want of a shoe the horse is lost, for want of a horse the rider is lost, for want of the rider the war is lost."

Food for Thought:
"Always keep in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing."


Most of the problems - the real tragedies and failures - result from failure to see the details. The man in charge must concern himself or HERself with details. If she does not consider them important, neither will her subordinates. Most people would rather focus on lofty matters. But when the details are ignored, a project or a task fails.

Successful people strike a balance. They pay attention to details in order to assure that resources are being properly used for the attainment of goals.

On another subject: Do you dress for success?
If the style is business attire, don't buck the system and show up in jeans and running shoes. The reverse is true. If the style is casual, go for it, but don't wear flipflops, ragged jeans and an outrageous T-shirt.

I think the way you dress tells someone, i don't give a ****, or i'm serious, smart and educated. If you're a nice sweet girl, you dress classy. It can also show how willing you are to be different, it shows your personality.

Trends - sophistication, popularity
Frumpy - busy, doesn't have the time, doesn't know how to properly dress for their body type, or not sociable

The way you dress could show anything from self confidence, to what kind of music you like, to how preppy or trendy you are, or how busy you are, it depends on what the person want to be interpreted. You can't base the way someone dresses on who he/she really is inside, but it gives a general impression of who you are.

But you see, whatever you wear, it's all in the confidence. The way you dress should reflect yourself. If it doesn't, then you wouldn't be as confident. One should wear what feels like "you". And what should feel like "you" should be something comfortable, right. The way you dress shows your mind. Shows your image, your.. self.

JESSE, The DREAMER

Jesse, the Dreamer

INFPs focus deeply on their values.
And the values I deeply err, value are honesty, integrity, responsibility, trustworthiness, faithfulness, and loyalty among other things.

INFPs like you draw people together around a common purpose and work to find a place for each person within the group.
My goals for each day are simple.
-To spend each minute of any single day lived to the fullest .
- To be "entirely in the moment.
- To be where I am and be with the people I am with at the moment. So I'd rather not talk on the phone when there are people around me I can share an interesting conversation with.
- To make every person I encounter feel special.
- To make day-to-day encounters special and out of the ordinary, to create something extraordinary from the ordinary, to be different, to make a difference even in the littlest ways.
And sometimes as I find a place for every person, I explore and seek new ideas and possibilities. Like, What could Jino do for a living? IT maybe cos he's addicted with computers! Oh yes! And then my dad, Where does he want to retire? My mom: Where, when and most importanly, how can she find a new man in her life?
You quietly push for what is important to them and they rarely give up! You have a gentleness about you and a delightful sense of humor.

INFP children often create their own fantasy world and live very much within in. I very much think like a child. I daydream about what's important to me and sometimes I catch myself wondering if I am in touch with reality. Like an growing child, what's important to me changes from time to time. The "mainstay" daydreams I've had are almost all about romance - about being in a relationship with my ideal guy or a crush I have at the moment, of being intimate, of being married, etc. I also have daydreams involving material things such as owning my dream car which varies as well, it could be a big white Fortuner/LandRover type of vehicle or a white Audi car.

I often get lost in my thoughts and books, and have developed a liking in writing as a medium of expressing myself, though nothing sort of a special ability as it whatsoever hehe. And it is true that I am somewhat reserved especially in new situations. I've always thought of myself as an introvert especially in highschool. But I have my days in the limelight and I'm not one to shy away. I always catch myself saying in my head, "Confidence, Jesse. Condifence." When I was new in Singapore (Woodlands), I could go on not speaking with my house mates for hours, I just kept doing chores.

INFPs have a need for perfection in connection with their personal values. They become frustrated with those who dwell on trivialities.
There are people who just dwell and sweat the small stuff. These people sometimes I just can't stand. I can't stand being in company with superficial people. But you see, I am always trying to reach out. To give them the benefit of the doubt. And to my surprise, most people turn out okay! Haha. So it's always a lesson to me to never take things the way they seem.

INFPs decide early on what is important for them, what is of value. They tend to rely on themselves for direction and are reticent to ask others for help.

Sometimes I'd rather do things myself to make sure they are done properly. I have found this to be both a strength and a curse. You see, my tasks at home pile up because I refuse to let Mommy touch my things. And at work, when I am R2, I want only I to touch and fix my Onboard Eats trolley.

They are also likely to have a small, close set of friends with whom they share good times.
I have three (3) close friends - AJ, Gilllian and Kyt - and sometimes they are the only people I consider friends. It's like my social network revolves around them. In the comfort of these close friendships, I relax and see the world in a different and special way. And my charm and sense of humor turn full blast when I'm in "my world" - "my reality". But unless I find an appreciation for my uniqueness and special values, I feel like an odd person out - - but in a positive way! Hehe.

When they set their minds on things, INFPs are not likely to give up easily, yet because of their outward gentleness, they do not show their determination. They may not take a direct path, but somehow they reach their dreams.
Oh yes! I am certainly making my dreams come true though not all at the same time. But I am young and I am not afraid of doing much and doing it all! I may not look so determined, but I am. My dreams and goals are a huge part of me. My dreams and goals may not all be solid but the solids ones are sure to PERSIST! And I know I haven't figured out everything yet, BUT IT WILL COME TO ME.

As young adults, INFPs may have some difficulty finding the ideal career and the ideal mate, in part because of that very word 'ideal'. They have a vision in mind of what they want, yet reality may not follow suit. They may make several starts and stops in their career until they find a comfortable place for themselves.

Could that be stated any more clearer? How many jobs have I ever had since graduating from college? How many times have I shifted careers? Where do I wanna settle down and live? Do I still want to be a lawyer? You see, these things are still left in a blur to me. I don't want or just can't decide yet cause there are not yet enough factors to consider upon. There are countless possibilities and I don't want to limit myself to my past goals/dreams. Others I have checked off my list already and I am glad that the list gets shorter and shorter. Banking have been crossed out. So is networking and cutthroat sales / marketing. I have crossed out clerical/admin work as well. I have ventured into the flight attendant career and it has been all a challenge to me so far. Sure this job has its ups and downs as all other jobs do. I am on it. I am taking it all in. I am in a close relationship with this job. I am getting to know it and being intimate with it hehe. I cannot think of myself growing old in this job. Maybe customer service is not my lifelong purpose. But the profession of a lawyer has never ceased to pique my interest and yearning. I could see myself being on trials and being involved with ala-Josh Grisham cases! Anyway, the how is not important. I know the what - becoming a lawyer. I'll let the universe show me and reveal to me the way. When exactly? I'll go when I'm ready. It will come to me. :)

INFPs need a purpose beyond the paycheck. They become burned out easily if their job does not fit their value system; they may not feel good enough about what they have achieved and, as a result, may undervalue themselves and their contributions.
That's why I don't get blinded by quick buck or easy money. There has to be meaning in what I do. And this I think is what I am beginning to question in my job. Of course there's the "my job should be fun". But lack of meaning can never be fun, can it? My brush with Ally McBeal today on youtube and my lawyer passengers serve as an occasional reminder for me. I always notice because I am aware of my wants. The subconscious somehow makes itself conscious.

In retirement, INFPs need to look back and feel that they have led a worthwhile life that has made a difference. They want time for a variety of activities, including travel. They may also be very attached to their family and enjoy special visits with them.

And this holds true to me not just in retirement but in every point in my life. I always take time to look back, to think and reflect on my life as it is. I yearn other activities. That's why I want to read as much books as I can! There is incredible amount of wisdom and knowledge in books. Thousands of authors have shared their lives for all the rest to learn from their mistakes. I don't intend to live my life vicariously through the books I read and movies I watch. Learning is just something I want to do on a daily basis! I want to feel free to dig into subjects that are of interest to me. My interests? There's the Spanish culture, Chinese culture, bridging the gap between rich and poor, being closer to God, accumulating wealth and doing and giving more, being physically fit and healthy to do all these things, discovering the man I deserve to love and knowing it -to see love, hear love, taste love, feel love. It's amazing what you learn everyday even by just taking a few minutes everyday to read the daily papers! So I try to reflect on my life every now and then. To learn everyday. And to never NEVER EVER lose perspective on what's truly important. To love. To share a life full of love with my family and loved ones. To love too much! To cherish every moment and appreciate life as it is!


At work, INFPs contribute their creativity, their value system, and their ability to work with others. They are able to see the larger picture and how specific programs fit in. They do not dwell on the trivialities or the details. Their job must be fun, although not racous, and it must be meaningful to them. They need a strong purpose in their work. They want to be recognized and valued, without undue attention given to them. They may become embarrassed when make the center of attention. As a result, they may undersell their strengths in order to avoid being singled out and made to feel conspicuous. They would rather have their worth be noticed gradually over time.
In my job as a flight attendant, I get to work with others, to be a team and I like that! I'd like to be L1 so I could delegate tasks. L1 gets to see the larger picture and to not dwell on trivialities. I am enjoying being low profile in this job unlike in Chinabank when I am "the flavor of the month" for every month that I was with the Bank!! I am enjoying the anonymity and yet I don't feel invisible. I recognize potential true friends, and they stand out in a crowd to me, and I to them. :)
I do not like competition or bureaucracy.

INFPs are quite disorganized. But when tasks at hand are important and best done in an organized way, INFPs strive to do so. Practicality is not a driving force for INFPs. Things that traditionally belong together may not be placed together because the INFP does not see it as necessary. They have trouble finishing what they start because of their perfectionistic nature. When they do finish a project, they may not consider it done 'for good.' Projects can always be improved upon, revised, and reworked, and therefore INFPs find it hard to bring tasks to closure. Because they are able to visualize the finished product long before it is done, the actual completion is of less importance.
I agree in every word. Kudos!

INFPs prefer occupations in which they can be involved in making the world better. Having their heart in their work is important to them. These occupations also allow for an element of creativity and flexibility. INFPs are particularly interested to be counselor, editor, education consultant, English teacher, fine arts teacher, journalist, psychologist, religious educator, social scientist, social worker, teacher, writer, and other occupations that engage their values.
Being a flight attendant feels like being a social worker so in a way, it fits in the category of jobs INFPs like me would dig. "Other occupations that would engage my values" sure may not sound fitting in the lawyer occupation where values are twisted. But me being an idealist, refuse to lose hope. I am creative and flexible. And I will find a way to get what I want without compromising my values and losing myself in the process hehe.

Inhale, exhale, repeat 3x. I have been on this INFP article for quite a while now. It's good to get to know one's self. How can other people get to know me when I myself don't know me right? Anyway, I'll continue later. Gotta sleep, eat, or do something else!~ To chill!!

Jesse

Ten Things You Need to Remember

The Simple Truths of Appreciation - Ten Things You Need to Remember
1. Everyone wants and needs it.
2. It doesn't have to be something big.
3. Make it personal.
4. Be creative.
5. Surprise people if you can.
6. Be sincere.
7. Have a plan.
8. Share yourself - from the heart.
9. Make it memorable.
10. You will receive more than you give.

The Real Reason Why Ally McBeal Ended Up Alone

MCBEALISMS:
"Whoever said that 'plenty of fish in the sea' thing was wrong. Sometimes there's only one fish. Trust me."
"There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn't expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me, there are some loves that don't go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky enough to end up with somebody who has a little of that insanity. Someone who never lets go. Someone who cherishes you forever."

"The truth for me [is that] our friendship is the greatest thing I got going. I cherish it. And to put honesty boundary on it... I don’t want to. So free fall with the truth and hope we both survive?"

"Who wants to be balanced? Balance is overrated!"

"I live my life as one big Christmas Eve, and it makes me happy, happy, happy!"

"I think I just need to believe that it works. Love, couplehood, partnerships. The idea that when two people come together, they stay together. I have to take that to bed with me every night, even if I'm going to bed alone. That's a McBealism."

"I like being a mess. It's who I am."

"Sometimes I'm tempted to become a street person, cut off from society. But then I wouldn't get to wear my outfits."

" Let's ask the people. Oh, excuse me. The idiots. Is that right?"

"I-can't-move-my-feet!"

"Just remember, when I'm here you're not the strangest person in the room. Go ahead, get weird on me."

BILLY:
"I did love you. Problem was you couldn't recognize it. Love is wasted on you because you'll always be unhappy, that's why I left. You may go through your good times, but we both know the place you'll always go back to. I couldn't have pulled you out of your world, you would have pulled me into yours." - Billy

LARRY and ALLY:
"You said you didn't need a man." - Larry
"I don't. I want one." - Ally

"Aren't you afraid of ending up alone?" - Larry
"I'm more afraid of ending up with the wrong person." - Ally

"Love isn't always enough." - Ally
"If you go without it long enough, you realize it's everything." - Larry

"Ally, don't run from me. Don't run from whatever you're feeling." - Larry

"When I first met you, you struck me as a person who has forgotten how to love, and be loved. Do you even remember what it's like to really be with someone? Maybe what you're afraid of it what you don't know." - Larry
-----------------
In my opinion, Billy was even more neurotic as Ally and that he didn't deserve Ally McBeal's love. I hated Billy yet when I saw the episode "Boy Next Door", the episode where he died, I cried so hard. I just could NOT stop crying! It was such a sad, sad scene. Moving on as to why Ally ended up alone. No, it was not because she was Ally and it was her fate to never find her soulmate. It was not because Billy was her soulmate. She found her true soulmate! She fell in love with her fellow lawyer Larry Paul played by Mr Iron Man himself Robert Downey, Jr. They're relationship started out rocky but it was soon evident and undeniable that LArry was her soulmate. She was supposed get married to him and finally have her happy ending but when actor Robert Downey Jr. was arrested on drug-related charges and sent to jail, the network fired Downey, thereby canceling the marriage storyline. Damn! So there, now you know the real reason Ally McBeal ended up alone. I've always had this grudge against the creators of Ally McBeal for letting her end up alone. It's good to know the real score. The truth is she wasn't meant to end up alone. With all that she;s been through, she was going to make happy. So I'll just forget the fact that Larry moved away and replace that idea with him marrying Ally and them living neurotically happy together! I am a it sad that "Iisa Pa Lamang" is going to end soon. But at the same time, I'm thrilled to know who she'll up with?! I just LOVE bizarre love triangles. Please let it be Miguel! He is Catherine's Pacey. :) Gabby is just so irritating just like Dawson. Oh my, two more nights and I'm off to Cebu! I just talked to Miss Peachy this afternoon and she told me I'm allowed to bring 10 kilos extra baggage. And that as a proby CA, I'm only entitiled to two (2) deadheads per month until I get regularized. I am so gonna cram packing up again. Much like I did when going to Singapore. Sometimes I can't believe what a mess I am. But I know how it all turns out fine in the end anyway. :) In college, all I did was cram yet I still end up in the dean's list. Now come to think of it, maybe if I didn't cram so much, maybe I could have made it to honorable mention just as mah fellas Noelle and Joyce Mae did! Hmm.. Anyway, I am excited about Cebu! A totally new place, a place to explore! A place to know inside out! This is going to be memorable and fun-filled, I;m going to make sure!

What Could Have Been a Smoke In The Cabin Emergency midway Hongkong-Philippines!

I thought I was going to die. Well, all of us are gonna die at some point, we just don't know when, where and how. Yesterday in my 5J Flight 111 from HongKong to Manila, midway in the skies, we heard what sounded like an emergency call from the flight deck. I was counting my Onboard Eats while Chief Cabin Attendant Bem was checkin on me at the aft. Ria and Charm were rolling down the merchandise cart. We all heard it. I said to Miss Bem, "Three chimes? Medical emergency." Miss Bem said, "No, it was 6 chimes!!!!" We both looked at the AIP, AAP and MCD, no visual signals! Then in less than 5 seconds, Captain called and Bem was rushing to the forward to get the call. Man, those few seconds were the scariest seconds of my life! What could it be? If it was 3 hi-low chimes, that would have meant an emer call. What could be an emergency? Did one of the flight deck crew get incapacitated? Was there an engine failure? Fuel leak? I looked outside and it was all blue Pacific ocean waters! I stowed my trolley and reviewed my duties as R2! i was Galley CA, in charge of the overwing exits and the circular raft! I thought of my mom. I need to talk to her. Have I told her I love her? Yes I did. I am sure she knows I love her, am I really? I thought, "I need to survive! I have to survive a water landing no matter what!" I was scared like shit. My hands were as cold as ice. But my mind was focused. I thought of my Mom then I thought of God. That His will be done. All these thoughts and feelings occured during those few seconds that Captain Pabale was talking to Miss Bem. You don't know how relieved I was when Miss Bem told us that it was JUST lavatory smoke! Then it occured to me, oh yes! Thank God for the cigarette! Thank You it was just a smoke alarm and nothing else! That was the greatest news I've ever heard! But where were the lavatory aural signals at that time? There was supposed to be a flashing amber light on the MCD and affected lavatory. The AIP also should have indicated "Smoke LavD". Nobody pressed tge "reset button" so whhhy and howww? That is something I'd ask Miss Peluchie. I wouldn't have gone through all those thoughts and panic if we knew it was just lavatory smoke. But I am just so relieved. I get to live! I get to attend the family reunion the same afternoon. I get to see my loved ones again. I get to live a life with a bright and brimming future! I know someday I'll be faced with a situation evoking similar thoughts and feelings. I know someday I'll face death. I just have to make sure that on that day, I'll be prepared. That I live everyday of my life prepared to see God face to face. To live life with no regrets. To live life to the fullest. To just appreciate being ALIVE!

Today, I caught Meet Joe Black on HBO. I thought what a funny coincidence! I also saw the OAV of Fushigi Yuugi with the characters dying at a young age. I saw the scene of Nurico telling Tamahome to just appreciate being ALIVE! She couldn't have said it better.

Jana and I bickered over her not lending me her laptop even for a few minutes since I wanted to donwload some songs. It made Mom upset hearing us fight for no important reason. Then I realized that I was so hot-headed this morning because I haven't told them about the "emergency false alarm" and the hell that I've been through. I just had to voice it out, to air it out, then I was okay. In no time, Jana and I were already talking like bestfriends. Tsk, tsk. Sisters.

I wanted to meet AJ in ATC but I was glad that I just stayed home. I'd like to stay and spend time in my home as much as possible. I never thought I'd hear myself say that I am a homebody. But I am! As long as there is internet or at least some good books to read, then I'd be happy home alone.

I had very few pictures from the clan reunion yesterday. I should get a good camera. A Sony digicam. And I will. I am glad I bought a new phone. I need not deprive myself. Of course things are just things. And I let things just be things. It is okay to own things. Things are built for people, not people for things. Money is just a means for different things. So we need to use money. After all, I have worked for it. And, wasn't it the case before when I thought Mom lost a few thousand bucks that I said "I wish I had used that money to buy a new phone instead of having it stolen." Hehe. For this particular dayoff, I just stayed home and didnt spend a single centavo at the mall. That's nice.

I saw Cyril yesterday outside the OCC. He is really cute. I wish I could talk to him. Didn't I say I will? He sure knows my name is Jesse cause with Ria shouting out my name out loud, it's almosty impossible for him not to hear it. He wears cute snickers. He wears cute shirts. He likes to wear blue shirts. Though I saw him wear green once. He has cute hair. He is skinny. Everything about him is so boyish. Such boyish charms. I have a huge cute crush on this boy. And I know he and I would look good together holding hands, watching movies together, driving together and going to dinner, friends get-together, etc. It's incredible how much energy I put in day dreaming about him. Well, he is "it". The flavor of the month. :) Who knows who's for November? Some one from Cebu maybe? I heard there are a lot of Chinese guys in Cebu. I appreciate Chinese culture better now after having read the article "Who We Are" on Inquirer yesterday. Now I understand the dilemma and the identity crisis that Chinese-Filipinos go through in a nation who is searching for its identity as well. We are all in this together as one nation. The Philippines, with all its quirks, is my home land. It's the land I was born into. The people God chose to be my people. And I love it here. :)

(Clan Reunion. We wore yellow last year. It's Green Theme this year. My favorite color! Pink next year? ^ _^)



Jesse

Nokia 5220 GREEN

New phone today. :) I love it! But of course, my first love is my Nokia 3650, it's been with me for almost 5 years now and it's irreplaceable to me. This 5220 is just an additional phone, for my SUN SIM.


I have been slacking off on my pre-Cebu tasks but at least some things are getting done. Today I opened a BDO account, bought a much-needed phone for SUN, found a green dress for our Clan Reunion, got myself successfully released as L1 October 21st. I am looking forward to the days to come! I can now bring my music with me everywhere i go with this Express Music phone! I am excited about Cebu. I really am. Sigh.

Jesse

Checkride with Trixie

Jesse
10/21/2008 11:57 pm

• hi aj! it breaks my heart to be apart from you! You know, Cebu is just a temporary thing! I'll always keep coming home, comin home to the people I love, comin home to YOU! So Aj sweetie, I'll go wherever you go whether it be in australia or in another planet!!! I'll find a way to live near you okay?! Well yeah ive been busy with flights everyday! Then first week of November I'll be on leave but i'll have to spend it in cebu finding a place to stay, touring the city, etc.I'll see on your off, Thursday? I. Miss. You.

Aj dropped me a comment at friendster asking me not to leave, that I'm the only one she's got left.. :( I really am gonna miss AJ. I don't know what's the deal with this Cebu assignment?! Well, I really need to make my goals straight. I am always laughing, fooling around and always having fun. Gone were the days when I was too dead serious on my goals. You have no idea on what kind of goals I had been up to in the past. Migrating to Australia and living with my Tomas cousins; Living in California and livin' the California dream; Becoming a hot shot Atenean lawyer at 24 and be like Ally McBeal; Marrying Paolo (?!); Becoming an Ambassador and traveling the world. You see, in all these dreams/goals, I had pictured myself as young, attractive and probably in mid-20's. All the goals I've had in the past are pretty short-term and lacked a gameplan. And they all lacked enough drive to fuel my passion and make these things into reality. In the past years, I can say that ALL that have happened to me were all my OWN DOING. Really. I have that power, to change the course of my life. TO be focused. To accomplish what I want to happen. I just have to think deep of what I really want. Oh and yes, I thought of wanting to become a FLIGHT ATTENDANT and who have thought it would be that easy. If I could only make my goals happen as easily as that. I know I can and I will. I took up a pre-law course in La Salle. I worked in Chinabank for a year and 2 months, had a stint working as an English tutor for Korean students. I took a dare and flew to Singapore, survived for 6 months. Took yet another stint job at Convergys/DirecTV for 4 months but lasted only A month on the floor (that is, taking calls). I have always kept myself busy. And now, I am an FA with Cebu Pacific. A proby FA who has been flying for 4 months and 12 days. An FA who just got assigned to Cebu. SO WHAT"S NEXT FOR JESSE? It's still unwritten. But it shall be revealed to me. ll have to consult my Bestfriend up there. My Counselor and my Confidante. I need His help and guidance and without Him I am nothing.

I thank Him because today I finally got released as L1 or Lead Cabin Attendant. I loved my flights today. Miss Trixie was herself, she was Trixie. With all her quirks, you can't but love her! Marj and Gill were pretty cool. And that tongue twister game was just too hilarious! The last participant (passenger) traveled with friends and as he stood with us in front, about 5 or more cameras were in front of us, flashes just kept coming! I felt like I was Hannah Montana! Haha. I gave out my email address to one of the guys, hope he sends me the pictures. :)

I'm off for 2 days. I've been sleepless for the past week. Now I'm going to sleep. Finally. Good night!

P.s.
I feel most attractive and confident when I wear my lips RED. Red and Green = Two of the most beautiful colors in the universe! I still can't get over the fact that Anne got a higher score than me. Even if it was just 1%, still! Haha. Lesson: Never underestimate anyone. But of course, more importantly, never EVER underestimate your OWN self. Don't be overly confident either. Just know that each of us has the potential to succeed, it's all up to us how we rise to the occasion and step up to the challenge!

Pseudo-L1

My new yellow pink shoes hurt my feet! :( That's what I hate most about some shoes, why can't they simply be comfortable the first time around? Anyway, blisters aside, I had fun at work today as usual. I was Lead Cabin Attendant (or L1) today, some sort of a dry-run for the next day's actual checkride. Thank You for letting me not be on checkride today. Most of my batchmates were caught off-guard! Well, well, if something is really important to you, you'll have to take time and sacrifice your time and resources to be successful at it! So, dear, tomorrow you really have to study and do rehearsals (huh?). October 21, 2008 is like IOE all over again! Now all I have to focus on is the FAP, safety questions, and L1 briefing. Capt. Dimabayao (the eldest of 3 Dimabayao's) is THEE best, being very supportive and understanding of..ME! I had my first brush with LATA and disruptive passenger on my day as a pseudo-L1. Not bad for a first-timer I think. Attitude is really very important in our lives. My supervisor shared that life is 10%= actual events that happen in our lives and 90%=how we respond to it, in short, our ATTITUDE. So I'll just continue on keeping this positive attitude of mine. Though sometimes I think that I;m never taking anything too seriously anymore. Of course I get pressured, tensed and "taranta" at times, but the next thing I know, I'm already laughing at myself at how stupid I was. Seriously. Anyway they better not upgrade me from HR tomorrow. I need time. Well, I'll work with whatever time I'll have tomorrow. I'm good, it's all good. :)

P.s.
Fang told Cyril that an FA is diggin' him (sorry for lack of a better term). Fang said that the OCC people kind of went berserk, teasing the guy and all and getting all too curious on who that FA was..uhm, that's M-E. I told Fang I don't really care if he finds out. I've got nothing to lose anyway. Not a face, not ganda points, not a thing to lose! Chief CAbin Attendant (CCA) Ejay (whom I flew with today and was too kind to drop me off my house today since he just lives in Imus) told me one FA has a crush on me. Really? Me? I mean, I didn't think an FA would be attracted to me. I just thought that I was nobody's type in the office not because I'm not pretty or anything, I just thought that I don't fit in their culture or something, well I guess I was wrong. It's kind of nice to know that someone finds me, uhm, crushable? hehe. It's really nice to know, most especially if I knew who it was. Ej said the guy's already married. Oh. Well, it was just a crush anyway. Just didn't think that he'd take time to talk to another guy about it if it was just a crush right? There's this group of passengers from General Santos City who were all chumminess with me inflight, telling me I was the most beautiful FA they've ever seen. Yeah, right. Haha. Anyway, I am talking way too nonsensical already. When did I start to care about whether people find me attractive or not. WEll, I have my days. Haha. Enough already. I am so sleepy I'm gonna collapse on my bed already.ZZZ.zzz.zZzZ '_' Good night!

Jesse

The day after LCA training

This will definitely look good attached to my resume.

Lunch at the nearby Shakey's with Cacay, Bianca (and those not in the pic: Avi, Eden and Sheels)

Yesterday was my Lead Cabin Attendant Training. In a way, it felt like I am being promoted because L1 (short for Lead Cabin Attendant) does hold more responsibility and has a greater job scope than a regular CA. Don't get me started with the responsibilities of an L1, because there are a LOT! And I'm pretty much excited to do it! I really am. I just have to review on my safety knowledge and procedure so I could be more confident, cos I know "Practice (rehearsals?) makes perfect" indeed. I just hope I don't get to have a surprise IOE/Checkride anytime soon. I am not supposed to be caught off guard! I will wake up early tomorrow and study a it. Also, I will call the office later to find out if I'll be on checkride tomorrow. If I am, the Papa God help me!

***************************

I flew with Lace today. She was one of those few people in the office that I felt really at home with. As in I laugh uncontrollably with this girl. It's nice to have met new friends at the office, really nice. :) Miss Melody Omaga, our instructor is one helluva girl as well. I am starting to really like her whether or not she gives me a perfect score on my checkrides. I flew with Captain Galvez today who I called "Kuya Michael" at the OCC today, I won't anymore, it's just not professional to call a Captain that. Well, it was our first real conversation with no tension whatsoever. He shared something really confidential to me, that's why I guess we really started to be open and be in our own skin, much like when talking to our closest friends. Well, I won't say anymore what it was that we talked about. Let's just say that "I will never ever again take anything or anyone at face value!" Looks are just too deceiving sometimes.

I brought food at Mr. Chow and damn, I forgot my crew discount for the second time! How is it that I was able to remind Kuya Michael about this crew privilege yet I couldn't remind myself?! Silly me. And another case of stupidity, I indirectly called Bob Causing "bobo" in front of 4 flight deck crew and 3 other FAs, damn! Me and my big mouth! He was saying that he liked Eden cause she was very intelligent then I just blurted out "Yeah, cause opposites attract!" What the.. whatta jerk I was! Oh my. Well, well, well, I never cease to surprise myself at how stupid I can get sometimes. Haha.

Too bad wasn't able to take pictures with Michael.

Thank goodness I got my CABM Volume 3 (I left it at the training room) back! Thanks Kuya Ver! I am sure to give a token of thanks to these guys: Ver, Ench, Catering peeps. Pogs etc. They have shown nothing but kindness to me.

Jesse

Today was one bright and sunny day!

What delights you? How do you make yourself happy? What is the source of your joy? Does shopping delight you? Do you find happiness in being popular among your peers? Does accomplishing your goals bring you joy? Most of us when we think of happiness we think of getting what we want. The media has done a good job ingraining in our minds that if you want to be happy, “then go get some”. We have become a society of “Go Getters!” But are we really happy with what we've got? Or do we feel that our joy is lacking or incomplete? When a rich young man approached Jesus asked what he still lacked. Jesus answered to sell all his possessions and come follow Him. When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. A priest/psychologist said, “If you feel depressed, go help somebody.” Joy can be found outside ourselves. St Francis said, “For it is in giving that we receive.” Real, deep and abiding joy comes from giving ourselves to others. It is in selflessness and not in selfishness can we find authentic joy. The “Go Givers” are happier than the “Go Getters”. If you still have not found the joy that you are looking for, maybe it is time for you to look for it outside of yourself. So go help somebody now. Now!
***********************************************

I found this article via the DLSU Multiply group. Amazing what things you could find on the net. I'm glad I was born in this era and not back in the old-fashioned days. Glad that there are planes now and fast cars. But hey, the article above is some sort of reminder for me not to get caught up with the modern technology hype. Whats with me wanting a laptop, a new car and one that's only for myself, a new cell and all sorts of other gadgets. Despite these whims, I don't ever want to lose sight of the things that truly matter. The things that money can't buy. I should know that too well by now. I've always thought of myself as a "go-getter" but now I realize that "go-givers" are indeed genuinely happier than the "g0-getters". Go-givers have more reason to be joyful, their hearts are rejoicing, they live more meaningfully. Well, how can you give when you've got nothing? That's what I used to always ask myself, "How can I give when I don't even have enough for myself?" Well, dear, that's the mystery of it. That you have more when you give more. To give is to receive. I've heard and read the above parable of Jesus a lot of times already. And the more I read it, the more I get it. We have to follow Jesus. I will follow Jesus. I will live a life for Jesus.

─

Short recap of how my day went. My morning started just fiiinnnnne. I saw my crush and somehow I have let him know that I am going away. I talked to this guy Junior inside OCC just loud enough for Cy to hear and (drum roll) he stopped dead on whatever he wass doing, turned around and looked at me! That was THE moment! Maybe he got curious as to who this girl Junior is talking with. I always go there in OCC to check the sign-in sheet, but more so, just to stare at Cy's back or ears, hair, shoes, or whatever part of him that I can see from my angle- I stare at him for minutes! Today, that's the closest thing I could have to saying goodbye to him. I don't know when I'd get to talk to him, to look into his eyes and just talk to him. For all I know, he already has a girlfriend, or worse, boyfriend! hehe. I also found out from BAdet (who was deadheading to Davao) that Cy is some sort of a hearthrob in OCC. Well of course, there is no one else to drool on in that dept. But I was just a bit disappointed, cos I thought I had rare tastes on guys. Why does he have to fit on every girl's "type"? How about me, where are the guys whose "type" I fit in? Aargh, if I'm not his type then he's not my type as well! I just which I knew if I was his "type" haha. Enough already.

I flew with Mela, Tala and Bob today. I like Tala, she and I could be really good friends. And Mela, it's a given, she's my batchmate and I lurve her. I'm team Batch 45! :) Since reading SVH again, I can't help but relate some of the people I encounter daily with the characters in the story. Bob is like a typical SV boy, tall, athletic and funny except that he is so ilonngo! hehe. I took pictures today! Here:


Above: (Left) Just outside the inflight sales office/lounge, about to go home.
(Right) That's quite a long walk from the lounge to the Office.
Below: (Left) At the SWA station on the interphone
(Right) At the R2-R2A jumpseats with Mela (mi batchamate) and Batch44 Tala and Badet

I was walking down the aisle in-flight when I noticed what one of the passengers was reading on the entertainment section on Star Newspaper: A feature article on Chino Lui-Pio. And then after the passengers have deplaned, I grabbed the newspaper since all of them just usually leave the papers behind. I was like, "I know this guy. How come he's on the newspaper and I'm not?" Haha. Well, blah aside, I don't give a damn on fame or popularity or whatever you call it. I'd rather live a life of privacy. But it wouldn't hurt if you get to be on the limelight every so one in a while. That wouldn't hurt. But I really don't care. If to choose between fame and wealth, i know my answer would always be "I'd rather be wealthy than famous". Cause I am already famous, why aspire to be something you already are?! Hehe. Now all I need to be is rich. But you see, riches are subjective. Riches don't necessarily mean money, land, cars, etc. I think I already know what (or who) my riches are. So yeaaahhhh, I am already rich and wealthy. I am "it", I am rich and famous! :) Haha.

─

My blockmates Nikki Pastorel and Patty have been featured on "Girlfriend" magazine for their online shop in multipy selling pewered necklaces. Their initial investment was 10k with ROI (for non-business people, that's return on investment hehe) in less than 3 months! Doing business is really good! Doing business is doing more, being more! Being an entrepreneur is a given right from De La Salle to its students. DLSU was all about giving, teaching, helping the poor, but my alma mater was first and foremost a leading business school in the country and one of the best in Asia, and included in the world's top 500. Any chosen profession's has to provide a living. So whatever you do, you have got to be using your God-given talents and gifts, your acquired skills through self-improvement, your education has to be put to use as well, and just as important, you have to be enjoying what you do! Nikki is a pre-school teacher and sidelines making necklaces and selling for a profit, isnt that wonderful? Multi-tasking - doing more, being more! Doing what you love and earning money! With that money earned, you can do much more! Money is after all, very important resource! I once thought that maybe Paolo isnt really genuinely happy with what he does right now (as a networking guy) but then I thought it's all a different case for each one of us. Maybe it is his "real" (again, read the "Silk" for info on the "real"). So we can never really judge other people based on the jobs they keep. Never take something at face value. But then again, one should trust her intuition. I use that a lot, in shopping, relationships, job, big and small decisions.

─

Going back to Chino's article, he wants to be a VJ. If he enjoys VJ-ing a lot, then please, let him win. The people who truly enjoy what they do are such a joy to be with. Those who don't try too hard to be what they're not. An done doesn't really have to be smart to figure out what's fake or not. The same way that I can feel whether someone genuinely likes me or not. I always want to be that "me" who has a relaxed, unassuming and spontaneous vibe. I feel my best self when I'm in an atmosphere that's fun yet laidback. At work and at home, I want people around me to feel that they're just hanging out with friends. I definitely don't want things to be too serious. As Angelo Tan always say, silly is always better than serious. I don't know if I exude the nonchalance and happy-go-lucky countenace of the girl next door. I don't really know if I fit in just one category. I do know though that girls don't like me that much at first. They get to like me when they get to know me. Guys? They seem to like me at first sight. And then, gradually, they begin to not. Haha JOKE. I just like to keep things light. To keep work fun and casual, even my relationships. Balance is key. Serious when have to be serious. For all other time, just plain silly. :)

October 15 2008 - Wednesday I'm deadheading to Cebu on the 31st!

Oh yes, I am moving to Cebu. I knew this day would come sooner or later, I just didn't think it would arrive this soon! I am even regularized yet. My first reaction was : This could not be happening! I still had so many things to do in Manila. So many goals and plans no matter how trivial some of them are. This is just so surreal.

Goodbye AJ. Goodbye Mom, Jana, Ethan, Dad, Jino. Goodbye cousins. Goodbye friends. Goodbye Gillian. Goodbye Kyt. Goodbye Lucky. Goodbye Cy. Goodbye Chris Tiu (as if.. haha) Goodbye everyone.

I mean, yesterday I and my family have just finally decided to move out of our house and rent a townhouse in BF Resort Village Las Piñas until the situation between Dad and Mom are resolved. And then today, this happens? Today, I get based in Cebu!? What a blow. What a surprise. And right now, my mind is just so overhwelmed. What to do in 2 weeks? There are so many things to do, don't where to start. I am so gonna cram. I have to renew my driver's license. I have to get my ATM Card. I have to pack my stuff. I have to organize my journal entries saved in the family PC. I have to buy a new phone, that 5220 I have my eyes on. I have to get a Sun Sim. I have to file for Vacation Leave this month. I have to clean my room. I have to buy backpack maybe. I have to buy a new suitcase.

I need to see my friends before I go. I need to let Cy know that I like him. (I made sure all my crushes in the past knew I liked them. I want them to know how idiot they were. Hehe. But maybe, this time I don't need to do that anymore). I need to spend time with AJ. With Gillian. And Kyt. And my family! ~ The most important people in my life. My Sister Jana. My mother. My baby Ethan who's like a son to me.

I only have 15 days left in Manila, then I'm off to Cebu. Just like that. Just like that, honey. I am relieved that at least I'm going to be with Eve, Anavi and Sheila. I don't know who else though. They are the cream of the crop of Batch 45. I am so happy and blessed I am gonna spend my Cebu days with them. We'll surely have a blast! Eve and Anavi, could it be any better? But of course AJ won't be there. Aj will be here in Manila, without me. She's going to Australia in December though. She'll be there for 3 months. So you see, we'll even if I stayed in Manila, we still wouldn't be together. So I'm sure this would all work out in the end. Am I sure? I am not sure. That's why I feel a bit scared. But I am doing this nevertheless. I'm gonna give it my best shot. Cebu deserves a chance from me, doesn't it?

A lot of people have already told me (Ate Ruby, Kian, Che etc) that Cebu has the hottest boys. Okay, is Chris Tiu there? Haha. Oh man, I'm gonna be away from home again. AGAIN! and it's a totally different feeling from when I went to Singapore. Fate does have a sense of humor, huh? Just before I left Singapore to go back to the Philippines, I met Raje. I met him a week before I left. I left before I could even have a decent conversation with him. I left before things could even start between us. And now, I am leaving Manila? Well, there's no Raje. But there's Cy. Just when I am starting to really get used to the travels and commute everyday. Just when I finally found a crush at the office to look forward seeing everyday. Well, I'm sure fate is up to something this time. We'll see.

─

I finished reading "DOuble Love" today. Man, is Todd Wilkins dreamy. But I knew he's gonna be in such a big mess in college, becoming an alcoholic, maybe drug adddict as well, getting kicked out of school, etc. And Jessica? She's gonna get married while in college, and divorced for not so long. How about Liz? Did she become a reporter? Did she fulfill her ambition? That I don't know. There's no news yet on that one last edition she's talked about before. A book set 10 years after SVH, with the twins being 26 years old. That should be interesting. I am sure I'm gonna be spending a lot of time at the bookstore or maybe in the library in Cebu. I have hundreds of books I'm dying to read. Novels, psychological books, fiction, romance, all of it! Gotta prepare now. Early morning flight after a day off - what's new. Cebu is new.

P.S.
I had fun at Boyet's place. I, Mom, Jana, Ethan and of course Boyet as well sang our hearts out in his Karaoke. Boyet is a a close family friend from Davao. He's 35 and still single, man. But this dude has land in Samal, Las Piñas, Cavite and who knows where else. He has been with that cruise ship company of his for 14 years now. 14 years? Woah. But it did pay off. He has lots of money. And at 40 he can already retire. Well, but you still can't have everything. He knows there's something missing. The "Real" is missing. What's the Real I'm talking about? Read the book "Silk" and you'll know. Anyway Boyet had lent me an LG portable DVD player with screen! It was so generous of him, so sweet actually. It has been a year since I last saw him. How time flies. Exactly a year ago, I was applying for Convergys. Yup, that was October 4, 2007. I also visited Chinabank that time and saw Mother Sheryll. Sheryll by the way has just immigrated to Macau. Things happen so fast, man. You can't get caught surprised. Oh well, I gotta get ready for work. Sign in time is at 240am. This blog is about to have its First Year ANniversary soon! Yey!

Jesse

"Silk" by Allesandro Baricco ~ Italian Flava!

I am training myself not to say "I'm busy" on impulse. It is the most common excuse people give out just for about anything. Busy wasn't able to reply, busy wasn't able to blog, busy etc. Well, fact is, Bill Gates has the same 24 hours each day as any of us. When it comes to time, we're all equal. So what has happened in the past few days? First off, I have finished 6 books and have 3 more books on my shelf to left to read.

I finished reading Aj's book "Silk" by Alessandro Baricco in one sitting. I'm really starting to enjoy reading books. It's an excellent time to pass time. In the past I used to escape to my fantasy world of daydream during idle time. About whoever guy I'm digging at the given moment. But I've come to realize that that is not a very healthy stuff to daydream about. Cause I was like having a relationship with an imaginary guy, with my needs being met all inside my mind. Creepy, huh? Going back to the book, I didn't quite find any deep or thought-provoking stuff (I use the word "stuff" a lot, don't I?). So I've checked out google, book interpretation is really personal, much like a song interpretation. That's the beauty of it. The whole experience becomes personal. A guy from Belgium who have read a lot of books from the author said that the common thread linking all the stories is man's confrontation with the Real. He borrowed this concept from Lacan (whoever that is) of the Real to denote something that we, as human beings, cannot speak about. The Real is beyond language. "It is a primeval state of completeness that is inaccessible to the unstable, contingent linguistic order to which we are confined." In the book, the Real appears "at the end of the world" in the form of an enigmatic Japanese (?) lady. She stares Herve Joncour, the protagonist, in the face without ever uttering a word..


Baricco's genius resides in his capability to wrap this confrontation between the "Real" and our imperfect lingusitic order through all areas of human activity. Nothing is ever taken for granted! Also he made world of business an arena in which we face up to our fallen state. The protagonist was a visionary entrepreneur whose primary motivation is not making money, but making a living through epic and quixotic ventures. At a certain level, "Silk" could be read by business students as an interesting case, describing the bumpy ride of an economic sector in response to technological developments (the opening of Suez canal, artificial silk ~ challenges), and political dynamics (in Japan). This book gives off a certain "silence", very poetic, very simple. You can feel that there is no need for many words - too much has already been told.

I can relate many aspects of my life to the story of "Silk". ~ My quest for a job that would provide a source of income without being so much like work, my quest for "the one" for the "real". Something extraordinary could happen anytime, so be sure to bre ready when the lightning strikes.

Jesse

The First Ever "Sweet Valley High" Book ` ~ #1 Double Love

There was time in the cafeteria when their eyes had met across the table and he had held her gaze for that long, incredible moment before smiling his heart-stopping smile. Liz had really thought Todd was starting to like her back. Was that all her hopeful imagination? Was he really interested in-please, no-Jessica?
-SVH 1 "Double Love", 1983

In so many ways, I'm like Liz. But in all my shallowness, I am like Jessica. I am guilty that sometimes, I do think that things don't really start as I arrive. And sometimes I think that I've got boys all figured out. And sometimes I write off people after just one meeting or two, just because "she hadn't been cracking up at every one of my jokes and enthralled by my stories. Well I'm guilty. I am not perfect. And I am not goody-goody all the time. Though I do know that being kind is better than being right. I always feel guilty whenever I pull of a Jessica Wakefield. I always give the other "girl" a chance for me to genuinely like her though I didn't have a good feeling about her the first encounter. Because of course, I didn't like Kyt the first time I met her at the dorm. And guess what, the feeling was mutual! She didn't like me either and thought that I am such a "nene". But we gave each other a chance to like each other during those 3 years of being room mates. And the rest is history. Kyt and I are now best friends, along with AJ and Gillian ~ the friends I know I'd have now and forever. Kyt and I may not be the closest bestfriends. But we know that we'll always have each other's back no matter what.

He was calling for Liz? The star wide receiver of the football team, captain of the basketball tram, a shoo-in for best-looking and most popular, was calling for her braniac sister? What was this, some kind of reality-show prank?
-SVH 1 Double Love p.4

Well, this guy Todd Wilkins reminds me so much of Chris Tiu. Made of the same material ~ Heartthrob material. Guys like these are not my usual type. But both Todd and Chris were anything but shallow. This Chris guy is a role model for the youth of this country! To say that he is popular is an understatement. Anyone would have a hard time not falling for a guy like him. But you know what, in the back of my mind, I know that if he be given a chance to get to know me, I'd have him wrap around my fingers! I could get any guy I want! And I really know that for a fact! In this way, I know I'm as confident as Jessica. I am grateful the way I am. There are times that I feel hideous, but this feeling never lasts for long. I am convinced that I am beautiful. I know that this queen is breathtaking. But I do know that the conquest of love is never pretty. There'll be broken hearts, some fights, etc. But I am prepared for that! Just please, where is that prince? Would he be an Atenean or a co-Lasallian? Though I've always really thought that Ateneans are more boyfriend-material. Lasallians are perfect as friends. Hehe. Well, Todd Wilkins was created in 1983 by some author. He is a made-up character! But Chris Tiu here who is every bit as dreamy as the book character exists in real life! And he is 23 years old, just a year older than me at the moment. You see, princes exist. And though I am not a princess, I am good girl. And don't good girls deserve princes? Hehe. If the time comes that I bump into this Chris Tiu, say he becomes my passenger, I'd hold his gaze for a "long, inredible moment before smiling my heart-stopping smile." I'd really do that and let's see if he comes out of the moment alive! Woah. What confidence. Hehe. But I mean it! I had LA Tenorio around my fingers, didn't i?! He and Chris had the same position in the Ateneo Basketball team, didnt they? I can have Chris Tiu under my spell the way I had Tenorio. Not to mention that I hadnt really made a move on Tenorio cos he's far from being my type, all I wanted to do was to punch his face to avenge LaSalle. But I didnt do that since I intend to keep my job as a flight attendant. I did smile on him when I caught him staring at me from the aft of the aircraft ~ yep, that smile of mine ~ and that did it for LA Tenorio. Oh well, we'll see.. we'll see.. I remember I also flirted with some other Alaska PBA players onboard, I sure caught their attention when I mistakenly asked what they're gonna do in Davao when in fact, the flight was bound for Cagayan de Oro and not Davao! Imagine their horror if in fact I wasn't mistaken and they boarded the wrong flight hahaha. Basketball players are cool, now that I've met real basketball players and not just some highschool or college (ahem) boys.They are just too tall! Cheska Garcia's Doug Kramer is just way too tall for her. I think a 5'9 to 5'11 tall guy would be best for me.

I may not be going to school anymore and mingling with school boys and girls. But I am employed by the country's leading domestic airline! It's amazing how many people I get to see and meet everyday. I should put this to good use! Cause you see, we cant have everything and do everything. We can only do what we can, to get by with what we have. So if I cant go out of my way everyday to meet people. then I could do so while on the job under "personalized servce". P-e-R-F-E-C-T. I should read more books on travel and flying. A flight attendant job is one of the most coveted jobs in the world. And one of the most talked about. There are lots of stereotypes as well though.

Liz was a good girl. And she had Todd. Even Liz knew that Todd going for Jessica was practically a law. Popular boy going for popular girl. The star of the football team going for the captain of the cheerleading squad. Well I'm sure that happens a lot. Hottest actor dating hottest actress. Say, Sam Milby and Anne Curtis. But hey, it doesnt end up pretty with that formula. Chris Tiu isnt going for MArian Rivera, is he. He will never go for Marian. He has too high standards. Though Im sure Marian would go for him, who wouldnt she go for anyway? So, Chris is dating or i heard, engaged to a certian Clarisse Ong. She is Liz to Chris. Well who then is my Todd? He'll come up Jess. He will come up. When the price is right. And more importantly, when the time is right. There are just too many things I have to do yet before he comes up. And I'm sure he is busy doing other things as well. I know better than to rush things. If there's one thing aTENEO does right, it's how they do things slowly but surely. Because haste makes waste. Everything happens fast in Lasalle. The technology, the trimestral system, the buildings, everything.

It is important to have a checklist, some sort of bucket list hehe, things to to accomplish and once done, its important to cross out the lined item from the list. So that, when the same situation presents itself again disguised in a different person or place, I can say "been there, done that. Next please?" That's why we have goals. Goals are magnificent things. They make life very interesting. I read somewhere that Chris wants to study Mandarin abroad, to work abroad, etc. I have done a couple of things he wishes to do.And he may be giving up other things so he could pursue these things he wish to do. But no one can tell him to not do it, cause it is his call. It is his life. It is his choice. People want to feel alive, to experience things. That's why we do things. Thats why we want to do certain things. We sure dont and cant do everything. Thats why we do only what we can do. AS for me, there are things I want to do and I know I can do them. That makes me happy. Knowing that there are goals to be accomplished. And it never stops. After finishing one goal, we move on to the next. And occasionally, I look back. When I look at my pictures, I am transported back to those experiences. I want to be able to look back and be amazed at how much I have accomplished, maybe I wouldnt be able to accomplish everything in my checklist, but I have a feeling I will! And I know I'll marvel at how I lived life to the fullest - because i have lived a life full of love. I think thats what matters the most. Not a life full of useless sacrifices, but a life full of overwhelming love and joy.

There are stages in life they say. I dont quite know what stage I am in right now. But I do know what stage my Dad is in :( And i cant help but feel a bit sad. But i also know that his happiness was his own responsibility. The life he lived was his own choice. And the life he's living now is still his choice. His parents raised him, he grew up with his siblings, now I wonder where are his friends from childhood? hmm.. he studied and pursued the legal profession. he met my Mom. He had children. He acquired a car, a home, raised 3 children, and now I, being the eldest is starting out. I am somewhere caught in choosing a career and establishing one's self, I am now thinking of acquiring a car, thinking of a potential partner, etc. A lot of things are still undecided. Why can't I decide quick then? because haste makes waste. I'd rather do it slowly but surely. I will figure it out all, But not all at the same time. Now that i noticed, I always say that. -slowly but surely. - all is well in my world - im pretty okay - I always say these things. Hehe. Anyway, dad's life is quite a mess i might say. Im sure he hadnt accomplished most of whats in his list and for that he prolly thinks he's a failure. but no, if that happens to me, i wont despair. because theres always hope. the value of our lives doesnt depend on a list! It doesnt depend on goals. Because why? Goals change all the time. They depend on our whims, on human desires. We're above our desires, our goals. We are much more than that. Human beings are God's children. And being so, we are very special and each have a place in God's kingdom. Those who obey God's commandments are bound for great things, everlasting things in everlasting life. One should never lose sight of whats truly important. And I am glad that at 22 and I think even younger, I already knew these things. I'll never lose sight of whats truly important in life.

Oh, going back to my issues at hand being 22 and single, hehe, I have a crush at the office. His name is Cy. WEll im not even sure how he spells his name, i dont even know if he knows i exist! if i bump into him outside the office, hed prolly recognize me as one of the 300 plus FAs of cebu pacific and thats it. I have told Lucky, my ever-dependable highschool sweetheart all about this new crush of mine. Maybe he could help me out. All he said was to go talk to him! Just talk. make a connection. Make a possible friendship. But howwwww? Oh yeah, I did! I asked him to help me out with the xerox and that was it! I fell in love at first sight with him because of that brush with fate! I just wished it happened to him first. Will he ever gime a second look> Will he ever notice me? Or will he never gonna look at me until I get based somewhere else - in Cebu Davao or Clark maybe. Come on Cy. Do you even know my name? I bet he doesnt. I bet he didnt even bother looking at my nameplate with bold letters spelling out my name. Come on man! Well, I will try. I'll do what I can. It;s very rare for me to have a crush on someone. Okay,let me compound that. I have had many crushes. But all these guys fit in my category of tall, lanky guys who seem quiet but are charming and can make me laugh and whom I can make laugh as well. Well that seems like a weird category for guys. In about every 100 guys I meet, only 1 or 2 fall under this category. So I may have 2 or 3 guys I particularly like at the moment but they are equivalent to 300 guys Ive met. Thats how rare my types are. Pretty rare. So I really need to meet more since this is a numbers game. But how I wish i dont have to look farther, I already like this guy at the office, can it please be him? would it hurt if it be him? I wont just stand there at the OCC and do nothing. I'll do something. Aargh! We;ll see. Why does he have to look like Chris Tiu? I just noticed the similarity lately. And damn, could he be any cuter?! This tall, ridiculously perfect-looking someone is so unfair!

But if he dumps me or gives me nothing in return, in all the gut-clenshing diappoinment, i'd feel..horrible. crushed. completely and totally devastated. i'd try to calm my aching heart the best way possible. And sure, i'll get over him. im sure cy (still unsure of the spelling of his name, i'll peek into his ID one time) and i would look good together though. sigh. when he dumps me, i'll deal with it. i'll face the facts. but for now, i dont know the score yet. i havent lifted a finger yet. I wanted to throttle myself for being so pathetic.for looking at the right side of OCC to see if hes there. to see even just his back. he looks adorable even while not facing me! haha.with him, im fighting all the urge to attack him! he just looks so innocent ehehe.

I wish he'd smile at me, a smile that would feel like it was just for me. Oh my I'm so pathetic. This too shall pass. Didn't I have the same crush on Toniboy, Jannsen and Gino? Oh my if you guys accidentally read this, all i could really say is "Sorry, your loss." hehe It was just a crush anyway. It's not like I want you to marry me. Maybe in the future, but not right now. Hahaha..

Jesse

Saturday, October 11, 2008. All is well in Jesse's world.

"All is well in my world." It's quite a sentence, don't you think? This could be a nice mantra for me! Well, I stumbled upon this poem on the net, a few clicks here and there can you take you anywhere in the Internet! You should see my mangatar I made in www.faceyourmanga.com!

All is Well
by Debbie Milam

Enter into the holiness of the present moment

Each step I take I enter the place where God dwells

Sacred earth beneath my feet
Kiss of the wind against my cheek
And all is well in my world

Each step I take I melt deeper into the serenity of nature

Sky above sapphire blue
Sound of silence known be few
And all is well in my world

Each step I take I surrender to the bliss of the moment

Magnificent trees rooted deeply in the ground
Dragonflies depicting where perfect peace is found.
And all is well in my world

Each step I take I embrace life just as it is

The dancing butterflies emerge infused with energy
The oneness of life creates perfect synergy
And all is well in my world

And now I stop in the stillness and stand
Where each step I took lead back to me
Where all is well in my world

Isn't the poem nice or what? Well, all is well in my world too. Hope all is well in your world too! :)

Jesse

October 6, 2008 - ATC with AJ

I watched TV the minute I woke up until the time I had to prepare for mass. Watching ASAP and My Only Hope was such a Sunday treat, believe me! I am now a certified Kapamilya fan, GMA 7 shows suck. AJ and I used to go to mass together in ATC a lot. It's been a while since we last went together. She wanted to wear her pink flowery dress today so she had to drop by my house since the dress was still with me hehe. Mommy of course didn't waste the opportunity of AJ being around to show her their photos taken in Australia.

Flashback-->Mommy spent 3 months of vacation in Sydney about a year and a half ago. Mom, along with my cousins, uncle and aunt, drove all the way from Sydney to the Snowy Mountains to ski and since they would pass by Canberra, they decided to give AJ a visit in her apartment. AJ was in Australia for 2 long years. Having her back here in the Philippines was one of the nicest things that's ever happened.

She wore her pink dress. And I wore my new high-waist shorts hehe. I just love LOVE spending time with her. Being with her is one of the things I look forward to the most. The boyfriend I'll have is sure to have a hard time trying to beat her when it comes to "being the best company" in the world. All we do is laugh, and as ugly as it may seem, when I'm with her I laugh so hard that I snort. Like. A. Pig. Hahaha.

I finally bought that hook I've always wanted to buy. That hook I needed for my clicker. Work stuff. Thanks National Bookstore. I am a certified Laking National Bookstore indeed. Going to ATC wouldnt be complete without stopping by here. AJ and I browsed through some interesting books on relationships. Books that looked readable in 1 hour. Hmmm.. I'll be sure to check them out one of these days. Good thing I'm a fast-reader and can stand for long periods of time. Hehe. And then of course, going to the mall wouldn't be complete without window-shopping. But the clothes there are just too expensive! And to think, they were just tiangge, mind you! The salesladies always say the clothes are from HongKong, Bangkok, etc.

That's why it dawned on me that I wont be wasting my money buying kikay stuff here. I'll save all the money and splurge on shopping in Hong Kong, Bangkok, Singapore, or wherever Cebu Pacific flies to! Clothes, shoes and accessories can wait. I'll be patient. :) In the meantime, I'll just save my money so I could finally have my car registered. Well, it's technically my Dad's car. But whoever gets it registered first gets to drive it! So I'll race him to LTO! I may not be an excellent driver. But I'm sure that by the 20th time driving that huge, gas-hungry Black Gallant, I'll be his master.

Gino and Myk didn't show up, not even a shadow of 'em. Well, the better! So I could have AJ all by myself! Bwahahaha!

Logged on to YM the moment I got home. Talked to Myk, AJ, Lipa and my dearest SFC brother Jodjo. He reminded me of the ILC (International Leadership Conference) in Cebu in Feb 27th 2009. Just what I needed! October's the time for filing Vacation Leaves. Perfect. :) I'll spend one week with Singles for Christ people. There are 15 days of vacation leaves. I once thought of converting 5 days to cash. But now, I'm not so sure. Vacations, breaks, or whatever you call them, are just too important.

Mr. Lipa talked to me about life. He asked me why not live in the States. Well, I don't know where I'll be 5 or 10 years from now. But I don't want really care where. All I know is that I want to be where I'll be the happiest. Cliched as it sounds, Home really is where the heart is. I'll be where my heart is. I don't want to be anywhere but home. Home is where my family and bestfriends are. Home is where love is. Home is where my love is. Home is where I am happy. Home is where I am my best self.


Tomorrow is the my first day of flying this October. There'll be checkrides again. I dread checkrides. But then, that's part of my job! And any flight could be a check flight. So better be prepared everyday for a checkride both emotionally and mentally. Gotta sleep now. Ciao.

Jesse

Hi there! Ola!

My throat is sore. My nose is running. And my heads throbbing as if to burst. Well, thank goodness not anymore. But that's the exact scenario you'd catch me in if you saw me yesterday and the day before yesterday. Though until now I can't help speaking with a characteristic nasal twang! I have been on sick leave for two days now. I didn't really miss out on my flying hours because ARMS (the computer-generated scheduler) took one of my days off and squeezed in a 4-leg-Cebu/Davao flight. Tomorrow, I'm gonna be at the medical clinic at 0800H. I don't know if I shall be released for flying. Maybe, maybe not. But I think I will be. I want to fly! But if and only if i won't have to suffer haemotympanum. Okay, in English, that is bleeding into the ear drums of both ears, the stage before perforation or rupture of the eardrums. That I fear! I had a glimpse of what that could feel like and I know I won't ever want to risk going through that again. I didn't exactly have colds at that time but some very slight symptoms of it. I remember I was flying with my batchmate Eden and I swore I actually thought there was a decompression going on! I thought I was going deaf! Oh please. Tomorrow's just a short Cebu round trip. Please, if there's the slightest chance that I could be in pain, then I wouldn't risk flying for 2 hours anmd 20 minutes. ARMS would replace my flights anyways. And to think, Badet had 18 days of Sick Leave already! What is up with her? My taste buds haven't returned yet. Now I know why the ampalaya I actually finished my plate of Amplaya for dinner, now that's why.

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AJ has already made it known that she's spending the Christmas holidays in Australia. She's gonna be there for 3 months. So that means I'm spending my birthday alone. Huhuhuhu. No AJ. No Kitkat. And prolly no Gillian too if January 18th doesn't fall on her one week vacation in the Philippines. Good thing I'll have my family with me. I'll spend it with Mom, Dad, Ethan, Jino and Jana. Yup, the same way it has always been like during my birthdays. Just family and friends. Nothing fancy. And no boyfriend. Ugh, if there's a favorite question everyone asks me or asks of me, it's definitely "Why are you without a boyfriend?" "Why is she single?" "How come?" "What's wrong with her?" I don't really know the answer to that, believe me. I myself am still trying to figure that one out. And a lot of people have tried answering that on my behalf. My bestfriend Kyt is very quick to say that "Ah, I know, it's because Jesse's too choosy and she likes to give his boys (suitors) away to her friends." Then motions Mack and points to Gillian to seek approval to make her claim more credible. This time around, I really am guy-less, date-less, relationship-less and by golly, fling-less! But I am okay. With it. Really. I am.

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In my 22 years of existence, I haven't experienced love yet. I thought I did. But that was just a one-sided love affair. So how could that be love? I was in love with a man who was in love with another woman, who just happened to be his girlfriend. Well, certainly, I was the odd woman (or girl) out! I've had stupid crushes but I haven't really felt love. Of course, we all want someone or something true. A true friend, true love - that's what many people want! And sometimes, I'm scared. So scared that I might not find what I'm looking for. Scared that I might be running out of time. Scared that I am wasting precious time alone when I could be spending time with the person I'm supposed to be with. Is that pathetic or what? When I look around me, my sister is single, even my mom is single! Gillian is single too, as well as my Aj! So what's to fuss about? Well, Kyt for one is not single. She has found the man of her dreams. And I'd like to believe I'll meet mine someday hopefully soon. Cause as John Mayer's song goes, "I'm tried of being alone! SO hurry up and get here.. " Hehe :)

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So what have been going on with me lately? Well for the past few days, since I've been grounded, I have been watching a lot of Fushigi Yugi! And being hooked on it yet again! You wouldn't believe how much time and energy I have spent googling Tasuki, learning everything that is to learn about this red-haired Suzaku seishi. And I found a lot of connections to myself as well! Watase Yu being born in Osaka and me flying to Osaka soon! I fell in love with the characters in Fushigi Yugi and I can't have enough of them! It's just too bad that some characters weren't enough credit for. Most especially Tasuki. Tamahome is just so boring. Tasuki has a lot going on for him. Anyway, I'll dedicate one whole post for Tasuki soon, but not now. Now is just time for freestyle writing or whatever.

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Have you seen the comment in the previous post? I have one reader! Haha. Well, for everyone's information, this was not supposed to be a blog. A blog has readers. And mine doesn't. This is more like an online journal or diary. That's why all or most of my posts are long! Because I couldn't care less if I keep on blabbing on and on and on. If I bore anyone with senseless topics, I just want to speak my mind. To say what I feel at the moment. Ever since I was a kid, I liked keeping journals. I really do. And I read them once in a while. And it never fails to give me a lift cause I know that I am growing up, I am learning. I get happy, I get hurt, I feel! It's so wonderful to be able to record my feelings, to remember how it felt. Journals are just so important. It records our lives. Our day to day experiences. Our days. And I love my site - queenjesse.blogspot.com ~ perfecto. :) and oh! Try typing my name in google, whether it be "Jesse Pinlac" or "Jessebel Pinlac" or "Jesse / Jessebel Gonzalez", the search engine yields my photograph! I love it! Finally. Anyone who'd want to google me will find this blog. Oops, now I better be careful with what I divulge here. Haha. SO what? Who cares? If people find me here, then "Hi there! Ola"

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This is turning out to be one of the longest posts. Oh well. I just had a heart to heart talk about Gillian. About us growing older. Being in our early 20's now, but slowly moving on to mid-20s! And then yep, creepy as it sounds, late 20's! If this blog is still up when that time comes when I enter the late 20's bracket, well I just hope things are different, and well. I've read somewhere that where we'll be 5 years from now is the result of all the books we've read and the media we have exposed ourselves to. Well that could be true. In the past 5 years I have immersed myself with teenage romance angst. Roswell, Dawson's Creek, the OC, Grey's Anatomy, My Girl, and Fushi Yugi! And to top that, Sweet Valley High! I don't know if it's more amusing or more irritating! Hehe. But I had fun. And fell in love vicariously through Elizabeth's love for Tasuki, what?, for Todd Wilkins! Felt unrequited love -though fans wouldn't dare call it that -through Tasuki's feelings towards Miaka. Wanted Alex to pursue Isabel so much cos I think they should be together! Enjoyed the funny banters and quirky romance of Seth Cohen and Summer Roberts the same with Michael and Marias'. Well, I got pretty addictive you might say. If you see all my previous blogs about Jason Behr, how long my notepad on Tasuki was, you'll pretty much say that when I get addicted, I do big time! So in a way, I think I can attribute why I'm single to these influences. I have been exposed to great love stories. Well, they're not the kind of love you'll find in Shakespeare books. But they're the kind of love one would want for herself! Liz and Max, Pacey and Joey, Miaka and Tamahome. Theirs was extraordinary. And of course how could I almost forget, how dreamy Julian Seoul was! I want the same thing for me. And you couldn't blame me. Cause who's to say that I am less prettier than Jasmine? Or less amusing than Miaka? Or less romantic than Liz? I am every bit made of heroin material as these characters are! I am as pretty, funny, smart, interesting as these lead characters. And I exist in reality! I am not just some made up character from a manga or a comic book, I am real. I am not some character made up by some screenwriter. I am the real thing! And just as I am real, the man who's perfect for me is out there too! And he's not a character with an ogre symbol on his forehead. He doesn't just exist in a book. He is real! He is out there somewhere. And I'm sure he's searching for me too. He might be with someone else now. But in his heart, I'm sure he is searching for me. And by golly, he's gonna find me. When? When I least expect it.

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My nose is still blocked. With mucus. Eeew. So I might not fly tomorrow after all. I wouldn't mind having to talk to to Ms. Peachy about it. My health is more important. And everyone catches a cold once in a while. So much for my goal of having prefect attendance! Pff! I love my job. After being on it for 4 months now, I can still say with all honesty that I love every bit of it! I am a flight attendant. Who would have thought? Now I really know that if you want it, just go for it! No but's, no if's. Don't think about doing it. Just do it. I've never been in a job where the people holding the same jobs are so diverse, so different from each other. Different backgrounds, different priorities, but all young so to speak. I appreciate the ups and downs of this job. And in this kind of job, one will have to stay true to the adage "Live life to the fullest!" And that doesn't apply only to the flying profession but to everyone! Life is full of surprises, of uncertainties. And sometimes it's scary. But it only becomes scary when we know there's something to lose. So I'm scared because I love this life. I love it! And it's pretty normal to be scared of losing it. But then, life on earth is not forever. It has got to end at some point. Hehehe. So there's really no point in getting scared. Just live life to the fullest!

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It's funny how your family can shape you. I am who I am right now because of how I was raised by my parents. And I love me. Well I could be taller, richer, fairer, etc but it's okay. I am me. And I love me. And I wouldn't want to be anyone else but me. I am really sleepy now. And I have to catch my doctor's appointment real early tomorrow. I need to write in here more. I don't want to forget my thoughts, my feelings, even those silly things I want them here! My phone's drafts are just full of blog-worthy entries. Hehe. I need to type faster. Good night. Ciao. Catch ya later.

August 28, 2008, Thursday - And I dreamed again.

A bestfriend is someone who won't hate you if you hang with some other people. Someone who is easily to talk to, and who listen's to whatever your saying. Someone who is honest to you and keep your secrets. They will never shout it out to the world. Sometimes when you got in a fight with your bestfriend, they always make up because that is what bestfriends are, not just some ordinary friends. Bestfriends; trustful, true, pure, not hard to get, and loving. Friends aint like bestfriends, friends are people who u hang out and stuff.. but ur friends .. will they listen? will they keep ur secrets? will they lie? All of that is in a bestfriend and suuuure u can have more than one best friend. They will always talk to you about stuff like broken relationships, friends, pms, and many more. They'll give you advise if you need it, they can just do about anything to make you happy. - Urban dictionary

Well, the definition above captures exactly what I feel for AJ. And of course, one can have other bestfriends too. Say, my sister, my mom, Gillian and Kyt. These are people I trust as well. And of course, there's Eve at Cebu Pacific. And Farizza in Singapore. Well I guess Noelle in Chinabank. But I think, when it comes to having a best friend in your whole lifetime, there can really only be one. Having found that one person is like winning a one-in-a-million shot at destiny! Finding a bestfriend is just like winning a lottery ticket! You may or may not win in a lottery, but if you win, you win BIG! That's how I feel for having found AJ. Really. SO happy. :) I am HR duty today and I got awaken by my phone ringing. Thank goodness it wasn't the office, it was Geri. I wanted Geri and AJ to hit it off. But even before things could start between them, Grti already told me that it's not a good time, he said things for him are just really complicated. Well, I guess he's right. But one thing's for sure, I don't need and absolutely don't want him to think he's being lead on. I mean, pleeaasse! Sometimes I think people really want what they can't have, don't they?! He is reaching, even stretching for crying out loud. Well, as I told him, I will only listen to my heart. If I don't feel like doing this or that, then I won't! He's inviting me over Eraserheads concert on August 30. Why me? Do I really want to know? Or do I know already? Anyway I woke up struggling in my mind. I woke up dreaming. And in my dream I was in a eeky situation with Paolo. Oh yes, with him.

Paolo and I met up again after the Batman movie date. I have no memory of where we came or what we did. I just remember him dropping me off my house. When we came, the whole house was crowded with people, people that looked like AJ's cousins! Haha. Then my dad, he needed to dispose or yes, sell some things to some people. He asked Paolo to drive him around! And then Paolo just said yes, with a blank look on his face. Then while seated on the dining table, he gave me the ring he was wearing on his middle finger. He handed it to me, I don't know. Maybe he thought he might lose it so he asked me to safe keep it. Then he left with my Dad and the others. Then when he came, he was soaked in water! Then the first thing he asked for was the ring. Then I frantically started looking for it. It was many rings actually, bulked together to form one ring. I remember putting it down the dining table just where he handed it to me. Mom is not sure whether she placed it somewhere or not. I felt so sorry. I hugged him so tight, almost wanting to cry! I felt his lean body around my arms. But he was not responsive. I never felt so sorry. I thought of paying for the cost of the ring though I knew that it must be very special to him and couldn't be replaced with money. Then I thought that maybe the price I'd have pay for losing the ring was our friendship. Words could not express how sorry I was. Then the scene jumped to a completely different setting. I don't know exactly where and when and how long has it been since the incident. All I remember was seeing a familiar dog whom I called by its name. It turned out, as the dog's guardian has said, that that puppy was just the offspring of the dog I knew. To my dismay, the dog I knew had already died. :( I hugged the puppy so tight! I missed the old dog, felt sorry that it died without me knowing, sorry that time had gone by so fast. Then, in my hand was the ring that I lost and I placed it on the puppy's paw!!!! And then I glanced on the side and saw Paolo standing there, looking at me.

~ The end ~

Puzzling. Awe. I don't know what that dream was all about! You know how dreams are the works of our subconscious minds. It's just that I have moved on, I have forgotten about Paolo, the only guy I have liked that much, too much. Maybe a part of me felt sad that I have moved on. I have lost the part of me that has longed for him so much! That "other" me. Maybe I dreamed of such kind of dream because I have listened to alternative songs yesterday by Life house, Snow Patrol, The Fray etc. It's all input-output. What we take in, we take out. Or something.

August 25, 2008 - AJ's 25th Birthday

My bestfriend has just turned 25, I wonder if she's having a quarter life crisis of some sort. Birthdays are fun. I used to not like birthdays so much, especially if it's my own! But now, my perspective has changed. Birthdays should be treasured. As a matter of fact, every single day should be treasured! And lived to the fullest! And lived as if everyday is your birthday! Cause every day is a gift, a present from God. I only had 3 hours of sleep last night, I fought with my inner "other" (as in from Paolo Coehlo's "By the River Piedra I Sat and Wept") in order to wake me up from my slumber at the CL aka Crew Lounge. Today's flight was a Batch 48 IOE with Trixie. "Emergency Get Lifevest Evacuate!" Have you noticed something missing? Some words? Words that spell "Open Seatbelt"! It was so embarrassing but I know I'll get over it. As a matter of fact, I already have gotten over it. It was just small stuff. And I don't sweat the small stuff. Just as I don't sweat the P100 I chipped in for Geri's gas - that's small stuff. If it was small stuff to him, well, well WELL that wasn't small stuff to me. That could have been a deal-breaker if Geri was courting me or if I liked him in that "kind" of way or of it was worth P420. Good thing none of the above. Why P420? That's the price of the ukay shoes I wanted so bad to buy but had decided that ukay ukay shoes should not cost me P420. It's just not right. I am really leraning to listen to my heart more and more and to listen to my intuition. Even when it comes to direction. Who would have thought I already knew my way inside BF? From Toyota, I coull get to Kyt's house already! Now that's a bummer! And COncha Cruz almost got into Geri's nerves yesterday.Driving and getting lost inside a huge subdivision is not something very pleasant. But I think it depends on the person who you're with. And in yesterday's case, depends on the song being played on the radio! The moment I heard "Make Me Over" playing on 94.7 (yeah I took note of the radio station), my mood changed and all of a sudden, I just saw the street we needed to find! Lifehouse is simply the best! And I learned that it;s okay to take U-turns. To run back and forth, until you find what you're looking for. :) I am so sleepy already. My eyelids are just shutting down. Ive got to sleep now as in now. It's 1134m aka 2334H and Ive got to wake up at 0400H! Man, I'll continue maybe later, or not. Whenever I feel like it.. Ciao!

August 22, 2008 Friday

Last night I have spent considerable amount of time in the internet searching for curly short hairstyles! I just couldn't stand my hair! I cry in disgust actually! Isn't that pathetic? It is! My face is just so round like a bouncing ball aargh! And the rebonded hair didnt help AT ALL! Bad decisions tsk tsk. But I plan to put some remedy on this brutal mistake! I am not gonna cut it shorter, never again please. Maybe only when my face shape changes due to severe weight loss hehe. But now, I am as plump as ever! Maybe it's time to really implement that SkyFlakes Diet, I just have to make sure I have all the vitamins and nutrients I need to stay healthy, as if I am having all the nutrients and vitamins I need. For one thing, I take a lot of Vitamin C and Vitamin C has spared me a lot of colds, coughs and flu! Back to the hair, I think I know what to do already. I'll have it "set" tomorrow for AJ's birthday. It's some sort of a glimpse of what curly hair would look like on this type of length. And then, maybe I'll have it permanent - but then Julie's pagoda would probably destroy my poor thin hair. Having it fixed at Angelo Falcon's would cost me P2500 on the other side of the coin. We'll see. I'll be more careful with my hair decisions now. Cause I know how important hair is and how much it affects my mood.

Moving on, I have Hong Kong flight later. I just saw on TV Patrol that there's a typhoon in Hong Kong. Of course I searched the net and indeed, there is a tropical cyclone signal number 9 TODAY. Heavy rains and all. This typhoon orginnally came from Pinas and was called Karen, it morphed itself into typhoon Nuri after crossing Chinese boundaries. So this sure will be turbulent. I'm gonna be flying with Heart Pilapil and Jade Jerios for my CCA. I couldnt believe how I just lost it while reciting PBE Drager. RORPAS?! I forgot RORPAS and stammered and said omg a lot of times, i totally lost it! But Romer was really cool about it. One cool CCA. And she actually thought that she has flown with me already. Not really. She saved my butt once when she took care of the flashlight and directives I left inside my jumpseat compartment. Now she saved my butt again! Thank you Miss Romer. And I call her "miss" without the usual squirmy feeling hehe.

My little secret had let me in to her little secret. And I was like "Aha! I knew it!" But at the back of my mind, I was hoping that I wasn't right. It just felt wrong that she did it. I wish she had waited. But what has happened has already happened. It was her decision to make anyway. I just feel a little weird about it. I don't want to see her in a different light. Cause her perception of her surely changed. I can't tell if it's positive or negative. But something has changed. Indeed, knowing changes things. And me? Wait I am now seeing Sam Milby on TV and he is such a hottie! Haha well me? I still fantasize a lot. I still daydream a lot. But I know I have changed. I am ready when love comes. I am patient, just as Papadexter told me I am. I am no longer a hopeless romantic. Though I still write and think about love, at least not as much as I used to. And not in the same way or kind of thinking.

My house is a mess. I still had not taken the time to clean the house and to tidy things up. And it causes a lot of stress and anxiety! Unwanted and totally not needed! One step at at time. Baby steps Jesse. You can do it. One step at a time. Just breathe deeply. And always remember to never ever sweat the small stuff. And Jess, it's all small stuff.

Adios. Amor. Mucho.

August 20, 2008 Wednesday

I cut my hair really short! This is the shortest hairstyle I've ever donned. But I know it could still be shorter. And I colored it light ash brown though to me, it still looked like its old shade, reddish brown. I've finally flown with Miss Romer yesterday in my red eye Singapore flight. We've flown with two Batch 44's. And I like them both so much. So much for the negative stereotype among Batch 44. There was this passenger who spoke in a completely Singaporean accent! It sounds really funny and amusing! Staying in Singapore for 2 years has changed her accent, I wonder if even in her head she speaks the same way. Being in Changi airport, seeing the lights, I couldnt help but reminisce the same 5J-803 flight I had last April 23, 2008 (or was it 21st?). I don't remember the FA's of that particular flight. They prolly just dozed off the entire flight. I don't remember sleeping either. What did I do then for the flight duration of 3 hours and 25 minutes? I remember how I look like though. And I remember every detail since I landed at Changi, even the f*cked up incident when I was scared as sh*t that I voluntarily surrendered the 2 packs of Cigarettes I was carrying. Pretty lame, huh? Haha. I remember riding the cab, marveling at the city lights and seeing the spic-and-span streets of Singapore. And how nice North Oaks condominium looked like, how foreign and strange everything felt at first! Encountering Singaporeans for the first time. Seeing Len and Strawberry and feeling kind of intimidated and out of place. And of course, seeing Angelo, such an angelic and handsome face! Everything was surreal. What I did was really a brave and strange thing! Learning the MRT! Riding the 965 and 969 bus! And yeah, crossing the highway, I had a really hard time training my mind to look at the right side of the street first cause it's the exact opposite. I remember I forgot this tiny difference once when crossing the street, good thing there weren't any nearby cars passing at the time. I stayed in Woodlands, Hougang and Boon Keng. Boon Keng was my favorite! Living with Dorothy, working at Raffles City, staying up all night at the office, Sundays with Sfc Sisters Far and Kian, household with Aleli, night outs with Doty and Che, dates with Reynor, and some other guys whose names I forgot already hehe.

August 7, 2008 What do men really want from me?

Tomorrow's the most-awaited 8-8-8. I'll spend it with AJ. Here's a funny story. I've been really irritable lately cause of a number of things - romance, career & finances.

• I love my job so much but of course, there are still days when the alarm goes off and I just wanna sleep all day! But when I'm at work already, up there, flying, I realize I really do like what I do.
  
• With finances, I should just be happy that I am earning the most now more than I've ever earned before in my whole earning years - even compared to what I earned in Singapore! All because I am not paying rent, food, etc. But come to think of it, measure the amount you earn through disposable income. That is, after all fixed expenses are subtracted. I guess it's a given fact that Filipinos working abroad both earn and save a lot compared to Manila-based Filipinos.
• With Romance, well I just had my talk with Aj and together we figured out my dilemma about this guy from the past who's messing with my mind again! But you see, I don't wanna obsess about the whole thing anymore. Men's minds are kind of hard to change I guess. So I wouldn't bother trying to make their perception of me change or anything.

What do men really want from women? - article from Evan Marc Katz

Why would I choose not to go out with a woman a second time?

Here's what I came up with:

She wasn't physically attractive to me.
She wasn't fun and easygoing.

End of list.
Drinking habits, driving habits, fashion choices - none of them enter the equation.

We men care about two things:

Are you sexy?
Are you fun to be around?

If you are, we're coming back for more.
Women have their lengthy checklists. Men ask two questions:

Do I want to sleep with her?
Do I feel good when hanging out with her?

That's it.

Which means that all of your amazing qualities may not even matter to him at ALL!
If you're attractive, it makes us feel sexy. It makes us feel like we've conquered and won. It makes us feel secure and studly and all those things we rarely feel on our own.

If you're fun and easygoing, it makes us enjoy our time together. It makes us not crave time with the guys. It makes us want to keep you around forever and ever.
Men DO value intelligence, but they also want from their girlfriend what they CAN'T get from their business associates.

Warmth, affection, nurturing, thoughtfulness. Lightness!
So we go back to the original question: What do men want from women?

Attraction and fun.

You can't teach attraction, but you can teach fun. You can teach easy.

Okay, I get it, I get it. So in essence, what men are looking for are girls they can actually be real friends with. The lightness of being with a friend, feeling comfortable, feeling safe, feeling loved and supported. The joy of laughing and simply enjoying each other's company. Which leads me to the next topic: SOULMATES. I told AJ how great it is to have her, how she gets me, how she figures me out! Well she told me thats because we're soulmates and we couldnt find the guy for us because we are IT! We are each other's soulmate! That is f*cked up! Haha. Well I told her she really is my soulmate, but that we also have a soulmate from the opposite sex. So technically there are 2 soulmates if there's such a thing. Then I remember Summer Sisters. Those two girls loved each other more than they've loved their own spouses! That kind of very deep friendship. That's what I have with AJ. And just thinking of it makes me feel so blessed! I am so BLESSED to have met her. :)

Top 10 List of soul mate partnership characteristics. (http://marriage.about.com/cs/soulmates/ht/soulmate.htm)

1. In order to recognize your soul mate, you must first know yourself. - Check!
   
2. Soul mate relationships can be well balanced, strong, and positive. There should be a lack of intimidation, manipulation, or abuse in a marriage of soul mates. A soul mate should make you feel safe.~Yes!
   
3. A relationship with a soul mate is a natural fit and usually feels like it is meant to be. Even so, every marriage, even a marriage of soul mates, takes the two spouses giving priority to their marriage relationship. ~Being AJ's friend feels so right even from the beginning. Itw as fate. :)
   
4. A soul mate partner often feels like a mirror to their spouse. Though this does sound a bit boring. ~Well..
   
5. A marriage to a soul mate is filled with honesty and support. But then, so are successful marriages of couples who don't believe they are soul mates.~Honesty. SUpport.
   
6. There is a sense of familiarity and mutuality in a marriage to a soul mate as well as in long lasting marriages.
7. Soul mate marriages can be healthy, passionate and harmonious. Soul mate partners can easily get a lot done by working together.~Yup working together and figuring out a lot of things together!
   
8. Couples who are soul mates often take joy in watching the growth of one another.~I couldnt wish for anything but the best for her!
   
9. A soul mate will accept who you are, will bring out the best in you, challenge you, and be your best friend. A soul mate will not require you to change. Hopefully, this is true of your spouse -- soul mate or not.~Well she's all this and more! My dillema is just where to settle down. I wanna be with her, live near her, grow families and spend barbeques on weekends with both families! We'll figure it out. Not how, but what. Just know what you want, and the magic genie will grant the request.
   
10. Soul mates relish small moments together and cherish their commitment to their marriage. Again -- shouldn't this be a way happy married couples live?~Oh I guess my friendhsip with AJ is just how my relationship with a guy should feel like! small moments together, commitment to the relationship.

And lately, I've been having lots of inflight crushes! Haha yeah, the one sitting at Charlie seat a while ago. One in each Caticlan flight! And of course that Cagayan passenger whose dad asked for my number, not for the dad of course but for the son. Hehe. And Evan said its so hard to meet real men in everyday life?! I meet guys hundreds of them everyday at work! Fun, isnt it? It is indeed FUN! :) And then there's Sir Ench who is so adorable! He's like my daddy at the office! I think thats already enough to make my day! A sweet honest, heartfelt, and warm greeting from Mang Ench. I'll give him something special for Christmas or for just no reason at all. Just to show that I appreciate him just the same way! Awww...

I love LOVE retouching! Retouch as in make up! Hehe. There's nothing more enjoyable! Hehe. Paiting my face with all these colors and glitters, it's so much fun!

I love LOVE talking with my passengers. I learn a lot from talking to strangers. Building rapport, being proud of my wings, of the company I represent. I love the pilots! They are doing a great job! Everything's just lovely. ^Thank you! I owe this all to you!

August 4, 2008, Monday - 3rd day flying at Naia 3

I am starting to really miss my regional flights. Really. Next month I'll fly Korea, Taiwan, Macau, Vietnam and all those other flights I have been deprived of! I don't like my my new passport photo and the next chance I have to change it is 2013 for the renewal! Domestic flights for all August, new passport, what else is new? Aha! NAIA Terminal 3 is new! Today was my third day flying at this new airport and I like the airport! It's more posh. Haha. As compared to Manila Domestic Airort where people are all jammed pack and the the whole domestic airport a sight for sore eyes. NAIA Terminal 3 is so spacious. It's freezing inside! Well-lit, elegant tiles, interior and exterior are nice, except that there's some parts inside that are still left unfurnished, unpainted and so ugly. And man, the delays are horrendous! I never thought I'd use ever use this adjective but yes, cancelled flights? and 6 to 10 hour delays?!

Cebu Pacific Air (CEB), meanwhile, continued to experience delays as weather and aircraft problems grounded several domestic flights for the fourth straight day since the airline started operating out of NAIA-3 on Friday. ...cancelled and most flights were delayed “as a result of the bad weather, extended maintenance of two aircraft and operational adjustments at NAIA 3,” the CEB said.
~http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/breakingnews/nation/view_article.php?article_id=152633

1. Weather 2. Aircraft problems and 3. Operational adjustments. The main cause I think is just how lost everyone is at Terminal 3! On my virgin ATR flight, cause of delay was "no bay assignment", "exceeding take off weight" and "missing passengers". I flew with Liz for 6 legs together with Capt Acosta and Lady F.O. Chua! I was late for upgrade and damn, I picked the wrong trolley from the lung center! No big deal though. Then yesterday, I flew with Miss Teng and Candz! Miss Teng had Joanne bumped off from her flight today. How important it is to study, review and be confident in answering briefing questions! Today was such a fun flight! Tiring and to my horror, my block time was just 5 hours or so, with all those delays waiting for bay assignment?! I am enjoying what I do however, I know that at one point, I will begin to really think and consider other options other than Cebu Pacific and plot the details of the plan because of the ever-increasing demand or rather, need of getting "more". 2 years in Cebu Pac is more than enough in my opinion. Plus, I can always go back. Just as I can always go back to Singapore and all the other places I have worked at. It's not a matter of whether I "can" its whether I "want" to. So I'll stop whining already about my block time seeming to not include the delays. Cebu Pacific is not the aggressor, Cebu Pacific is my ally. For crying out loud, Cebu Pacific hired me! I wanted this job and they gave it to me! I better stop looking at myself as a victim already! haha. I am having fun and I am living my life to the fullest everyday! And I mean it! I love flying! I love the idea of flying! I love how this work doesn't feel like work at all! I love replenishing seats with magazines, air sickness bags, and safety instruction cards. I love stowing bags up the Overhead Bins! I love how physical the job is, cause what I really need for a job is a physical one! Because then, I get to work out / exercise! I love how I'm losing weight! I love it that I need to wear makeup and have to look beautiful at all times! I love how kikay this job is! I love how I get to announce landing spiels! I love how I get to conduct games! I love how I get to smile not just because I want to but because I have to! I love the job to bits and pieces! I love the thrill of flying with different flight deck crew, cabin crew and passengers every time. Each flight is unique, definitely no flight exactly the same. The probability of a flight having the same crew and passengers is zero. yes zero, impossible! They say anything is possible. So it's possible that something could be impossible. Haha. And the a flight happening again or replicating itself is physically impossible. So with this knowledge, I must endeavor to make each and every flight special and extraordinary because truly, that particualr flight won't happen again!! Nice, huh? :) I like like like LIKE Captain Custodio! He is like Daddy Kuh, Boss Leslie, Sir Roel, and Tito Nonoy! Yes, what do they have in common besides all being my crushes at one point or another? All are tall, lanky, handsome and dashing most especially when they were younger..ahem, yes, all of them are quite old already. Haha. I just like the image they project. Very responsible fathers, dedicated to their craft/work, cheerful disposition, really smart, and huge income-earners: exactly the qualities that my dad have..NOT! Just a funny observation. Hehe.

I am learning to be braver in crossing streets now. I am also learning to really spend less or should i say, "nothing" on myself! Everything goes to utility bills honey! I am learning to say "Miss" and "opo" now to my seniors and to all moving living creatures! Confidence, humility and hard work really pay! I won't forget that I still owe Capt Dondi Custodia P30. I just wish Abby didn't tell Captain about my little crush on the Captain haha. Capt Pañaca and F.O. Palse are also okay. Tomorrow is 655 the infamous 2 legs with Sir Harold and Toniboy! Then I'll probably meet up with Gillian, AJ and Kyt oh I love it! Day off the next day :)

And yes, the date with Paolo. The movie was as expected, best Batman movie they say and Heath's final performance which was superb by the way. Paolo is too much focused on amassing wealth and fortune! Talk about wanting a black Lamborghini for himself and a bachelor's pad just like Rain's in the Clear Commercial. I just wish Paolo's not missing on what's truly important in life. He should know the real valuable things in life especially being involved with a funeral business that shows just how numbered our years are. So spend time on what's truly important. But then again, they say that life's purpose is purpose itself. Having goals and being fixated on wanting to buy these things for himself is better than having no goals at all, though. The date was okay because he did what any perfect man on a perfect date would do, being chivalrous and all, paying for everything from popcorn to tickets, opening doors, letting the girl walk first aka "ladies first", assisting the lady by holding her hand while walking along dark alleys, etc. But of course, he obviously does that to all his dates. And he is a man who have dates all the time. He is so used to this that this has probably not become so special anymore. Maybe that's why he didn't attempt to call again after I missed the first call. He said we would eat Indian at Mumbai in Trafalgar next week or when both our schedules permit us. Maybe. I like it when I have something to look forward to. But with Paolo, anything goes. I am not putting my hopes high, definitely not. He is just a guy. But of course, he is a friend. I am glad we're friends. Now, I get to say all sort of things at him, things I never would have thought of saying before. I am comfortable around him and that is because we have become friends. I am glad that way.


I have to leave the house at 6:20am and it's a few hours from now! Ciao!

July 31, 2008 Wednesday Sometimes hmmm hmm

I had fun at work today, as usual :) ! Today I sang "Sometimes" in front of 170 people onboard Cebu Pacific Flight 5J-655/656 MNL/Tacloban. I just wanted to crawl up the corner afterwards! Haha But I guess that is something redeemable. Next time I'd be asked to sing for the fun games, I'd know what to sing. Just so I won't forget, I'll put it here: "A Whole New World", "Happy Together", "Part of your World", "Til there was you", just to name a few! Sir Harold is wacky! I saw Captain Galvez and shared some chika with him. He's one cool captain. Lucky me to have a captain for a pseudo cousin! Haha. 2nd time flying with Toniboy. He's one of those typical lasalista guys that a lasalista girl would want to be friends with, seriously. He's easy to be with and yeah, no pressure whatsoever to show off to seniors how fast a worker you are, etc. Saw Eve today! Love love that girl! Why is that all we could do was laugh at anything and everything! It amazes me! Especially the part where we made up this story that she'd have to submit a lengthy Letter of Explanation (LOE) as to why she failed to answer the "upgrader calls" because she wore headsets to make sure she'd wake up as this headsets would definitely signal every sensory nerve in her brains to wake up. And yet she still failed to get the call. Because her hands were tied off to handcuffs she used so she wouldn't accidentally remove the headsets off her ears while sleeping! This story just cracked us up!

I like last days of flying not for any other reason but just the looking forward to doing other enjoyable things besides work. Like for instance, I'm catching the Dark Knight in Greenbelt tomorrow! And it's gonna be my first time watching a movie at that place! First time for everything. First date with Paolo. Prolly the first and last. Wouldn't mind really. :) We're friends I believe. It's almost always okay to spend time with friends from the opposite sex. Besides, there's nothing wrong with it.

Today is the day I'm declaring myself to be NOT a hopeless romantic. Well, not anymore. People think it's okay to be a hopeless romantic. But maybe it's time for some changes. I am not Charlotte York and I am not living her life. I am not living in the fantasy world of movies.

In urbandictionary.com, one of the definitions of "hopeless romantic" was:

A person that places his or her search for love as the number one priority. They place it above family, friends, career, health and home because they crave the love of another so desperately. The problem this creates is that they are not attractive because they ignore the other aspects of their lives and this decreases their chances of every finding love. Thus, the hopelessness. Typically, they will only encounter other desperate lovers or people that want to exploit their desperateness. The cure for the hopeless romantic is to put the priority on other aspects of their life and experience joy and happiness with work, home, friends and family. When a person focuses their love on those things, love will follow them everywhere and a partner to share those things with will come. Signs you might be a hopeless romantic: Poor performance at work. Less time spent with friends and family. Letting the home become a place to hide and not a launching pad for life. Abusing your body with food, drugs, or alcohol in an attempt to replace the high felt from love.

The above definition is pretty much self-explanatory, need i say more? I've always preferred the positive definition of this term but then maybe, this mentality is hindering me from becoming fully happy and truly content. So I will stop obsessing about it already. This passage or definition was exactly what I needed to read!

Here are more quotes about love from movies/ authors etc. Interesting insights if I should say!

• If you love something, sometimes you just wanna be surrounded by it. -Good Luck Chuck. ~I agree. Why would you want to surrounded by things you don't like right?
• "But love is this really powerful thing that everyone's got if they'd just learn how to accept it. I mean, come on. If it's something we all have to give, and if it's something we all want, doesn't that mean there's exactly enough to go around?" - Phillip Beard ~Bravo! there is enough! Hallelujiah!
• "For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch, you can feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot, so deep, that you never want to come up for air." -grey's anatomy ~ I know this one! Alex said this to a patient who had a huge crush on him! well, my first lip lock wasn't with someone I love. But then, I'm sure the first time with the one I love would still feel as special as it should be!
• "When we talk about issues and really open up to each other, things are great between us. When we keep things to ourselves, grudges and resentments build up and we end up arguing." -Nicholas Sparks ~ Communication is key.
• "Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship-never." -Charles Caleb Colton ~I agree! Lovers have to be friends first!
  
• "To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others." -Francois Mauriac ~Miracle indeed!
• "Nobody deserves your tears, but whoever deserves them will not make you cry." -Gabriel Garcia Marquez ~Sooo true!!!
• "You don't love someone because they're perfect. You love them in spite of the fact that they're not."-Judi Piccoult, "my sister's keeper"~Yeh!
• "The worst battle is between what you know and how you feel." ~Haha, in this case, use your emotions to change how you think.
• "It's funny how certain things trigger memories. Songs, smells, and such. Some make you sad and some make you just close your eyes and for that one moment you are captured in the past. It's moments like those that make life confusing." ~Confusing? Well if you put it that way. Yeah cause you start to question the decisions you made that led to changes. Well, trust that you made the right decision!
• "We could only wonder how she would be able to dust herself off and start over. over again. And yet we knew we couldn't bear for her not to, and felt ever more optimistic that after all her struggles, she would someday meet her man, her equal: a man with the same charisma, love of life, and humanity she possessed. In the meantime, she'd have her friends. And the knowledge that she deserved the world."-sex and the city ~Yeah! I've got my friends!
• "Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That's what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will."- Hope Floats ~It always does.
  
• 
  "Love is living your own life, but sharing it. Love is forgiveness, its making a million mistakes and turning them into learning experiences. Love is patience, optimism and sometimes it's a kiss when there is nothing left to say ." ~Love is a way of life, my way of life!
• "Love is about taking risks, the risk of rejection, the risk of heartbreak and the risk of falling into love and not being able to get out of it." ~Hahaha I like this one!
• "Sometimes you just need someone to look forward to seeing every day." ~The sweetest thing!
• "have you ever wondered why you think about someone when you do? I mean when someone's left your left your life for months or years then out of nowhere there they are, inside your head in your every thought and you wonder 'they've been out of my life for so long why am I thinking of them?' most people blow things like that off but the way I see it if you're spending time thinking of them then they are probably meant to be there and they are meant to be in your life." ~This is just a matter of screening your thoughts and controlling your minds!
• "So that's how we have to live, one laughing fit at a time because there's not room in this short life for anything besides happiness and joy. any moment spent brooding over what could've happened, how that situation could've been bettered, is a moment lost." ~ I couldn't have said it better!
• "He's that guy that you'd want to hang out with even if you weren't dating him, and he's cute in that kinda way that's sorta like... you know in the movies that guy you want the girl to end up with that everybody pretends isn't cute, but really is." - Everwood ~Haha yeah so true!
• "You have to know your own heart, and after that you have to risk breaking it." - Wildfire ~There's always this risk!
• "Love is when a person believes that he, she, or it can't live without some other he, she, or it. No one actually needs another person or another person's love to survive. Love, is when we have irrationally convinced ourselves that we do." -Gabrielle Zevin, "Elsewhere" ~Interesting way of looking at it!
• "There are as many ways to meet someones as there are someones to meet. That said, it's almost impossible to meet that special someone unless you're willing to be someone else's someone until your special someone comes along." -Kermit the Frog ~I have a question for Kermit, why is that so? Why almost impossible? I think I know what you're talking about..
  
• "I think relationships can be defined by big moments that don't happen - or by the little ones that do. But once you get past the drama, it's actually pretty simple: All you have to do is whatever it takes to make her happy." – Scrubs ~Yeah, it is that simple!
• "Love is the blueprint for happiness." - Lamar Cole ~Oh yes!
• "It's not about doing the things you love, it's about doing things with the one you love!" – the break-up ~I agree with Jen here!
  

I am just too sleepy to continue! Click on the link to read more quotes.
http://www.luaquotes.com/quotes/love12.html

July 29, 2008 Tuesday - 5th day flying

Time check 12:19am. I'll try to type today's entry as fast as possible. I had a great time with KAte Torres today! Who would have thought 3FR could be fun? It could when you're in the company of friends! Never really had time to bond with Kate, spent the whole afternoon with her pigging out! Today was a Batch 45 day for me. I saw almost everyone from my batch in chronological order: Mela, Anavi, Eden, Kate, Eve, Edz, Cacay, Karen, Joanne, and Sheila! Only three people didnt make it on the list: Bianca maybe its her off today, Kathy well shes in Cebu, and.. Tin! I almost forgot Tin.. I even had to look up out batch picture on my friendster page to find the missing piece of the puzzle! Hehe..

It is amazing how much you can learn about someone when you spend time with them. There's the sharing of love lives, plans, past experiences, current experiences etc. And amazing how two people can find a lot in common with the other in so many ways! Had dinner with Mela and Kate, I saw their place at Salem! Couldn't help but reminisce my days at the dorm in La Salle and my place with Doty in Singapore and of course, my brief one month stay at Bautista! I've lived in so many places already! And of course, Woodlands! My favorite is at Hougang though! Talk about spic and span and color-coded hangers!

I went over Aj's place the other day. The usual: hangin out, just talking about anything and everything. I find myself always trying to change Aj's mindset and make her more positive. How will she meet good guys if she always thinks that the only guys she attracts are losers? Talk about LAW OF ATTRACTION! And have I mentioned that Paolo and I are watching Dark Knight together? I think it's gonna be on Friday. It's not really a date. He prolly just wants to watch it with a girl. Me, I don;t mind if I watch it with my family, my sister my girlfriends or with him. Let's see how it goes.

If there's one thing I should be grateful to Raje for, it would be helping me get over Paolo. Because Raje was the first guy I had a genuine interest to get to know besides Paolo. It made me realize that yes, I could like other guys as well. And vice versa. Well thats not exactly the case. Because in reality, Raje and me are just friends, more like chat buddies. But I do know that he is one guy who is definitely not crossed out in my list. In fact, he's in good standing! Not that I am saying that Paolo is crossed out though. I am not closing any doors. Or as Anavi put it, my doors are closed but they are not locked. But of course, I know some guys whom I definitely locked doors permanently! Haha. As I've said before, I'd be happy when Raje finally find his someone. But of course, I'd be intruding Reason No. 4 below. - "I'm so happy for you."

Why are you still single?
Natanong mo ba sa sarili mo yan?

I got this article from a friend's multiply blog. I found it interesting and amusing so I asked if I could re-post it here. Thanks Tyn :) For me, Reasons # 1, #2, #3, #8 and #12 combined could be why I'm single. We'll see.. Kayo? Why are you still single?

- - -

1) Destiny Addict

Ito 'yung mga taong hinihintay na gumawa ang tadhana ng paraan para pagtagpuin sila ng kanilang mga "soulmates" and whatever. Ayaw kumilos o kung ano pa dahil naniniwala siya na kung sino man 'yung talagang meant for him/her ay darating na lang bigla sa paraang maaaring hindi niya inaasahan--wow, parang Serendipity.

"Dadating din 'yan. 'Wag kasing hanapin!"



2) Perfectionist

Simula nung magkamalay ang taong ito, nakalista na ang mga bagay na gusto niya sa kanyang magiging boypren/girlpren. Kapag may nakilala siya at nakitang madumi ang kuko, magkadikit ang kilay, may butas sa ngipin, o parang penguin maglakad, wala na. Turn off na 'yun para sa kanya.

"Ok na sana siya e. Kaya lang gusto ko 'yung ganito..."



3) Busy Bee

Pasensya na sila pero masyado kang maraming inaasikaso tulad ng libro, bolpen, papel at calculator. Umaalis ka ng 6 am sa bahay at umuuwi ng 7 ng gabi 'pag weekdays. Pagdating mo sa bahay, gagawa lang ng homework at matutulog na. Masaya ka nang makanood ng TV 'pag Sabado (at gumawa ulit ng homework). Sapat na sa'yo ang kumain sa labas kasama ang pamilya 'pag Linggo (at gumawa pa rin ng homework).

"Sorry. Wala akong time sa ganyan e."



4) Friend Forever
(version 1)

Kunwari ka pa dyan. Alam mo namang gusto mo talaga 'yang best friend o special friend mo pero hindi mo lang sinasabi at pinapadama dahil ayaw mong masira ang pagkakaibigan niyong dalawa. 'Yung tipong 'pag may kasamang iba 'yung gusto mo, kunwari ka pang masaya ka para sa kanya pero sa totoo lang, gusto mo na malusaw na parang ice caps dahil sa Global Warming.

"I'm so happy for you!" o "Sayang naman 'yung pinagsamahan namin e."



5) Friend Forever
(version 2)

Wala tayong magagawa pero talagang malapit ka lang sa kabilang kasarian--pero bilang kaibigan lang. One-of-the-boys, ladies' man. Hindi ka naman homo o bi pero sadyang kaibigan lang ang tingin mo sa mga taong hindi mo kapareho ng chromosomes. Masaya ka nang nakaka-hang-out lang sila, nakakakwentuhan, niyayakap nang walang halong malisya.

"Ano gimik natin?" (kung babae) o "Hatid ko ba kayo mamaya?" (kung lalaki)



6) Born to be One

Single-blessed ka at wala ka nang magagawa kung ganun. :) Nilikha ka siguro para maging mag-isa (pero syempre may pamilya at kaibigan ka naman, duh) hanggang tumanda ka na at ipadala sa Home for the Aged. Marami akong kakilalang mukhang ganito ang patutunguhan at hindi naman sila mga pangit o abnoy talaga. Minsan lang, masyado silang masungit.

"Mag-isa ako."



7) Happy-go-lucky

'Eto 'yung taong masaya na sa trip-trip lang at kung anu-anong mga happenings. Kahit sino na lang basta no strings attached. For fun lang at walang seryosohan please. Personally, ayoko nung mga ganito. Umaapaw lang siguro 'yung mga taong ganito sa L. Magbuhos ka nalang ng malamig na tubig sa iyong buong katawan at solb na 'yan.

"I'm not ready to commit e, but I really like you."



8) Wrong Time

'Eto naman 'yung mga laging idinadahilan na masyado pa silang bata o kaya masyado na silang matanda. May mga tao raw na ganyan, 'yung pakiramdam nila laging may tamang panahon para sa pag-ibig. Pero ang labo lang kasi tuwing may pagkakataon naman, lagi nilang naiisip na maling panahon pa iyon. Oo, wrong timing lagi ang pag-ibig para sa kanila kasi madalas sumasakto kung kelan meron silang board exams, problema sa pamilya, o long test kinabukasan. :))

"We had the right love at the wrong time..."



9) Parent Trap

Ayaw ni mama o ni papa na magkaboypren/girlpren ang kanilang unica hija/hijo kahit na 22 years old na ito at kumikita na ng sarili niyang pera. Kailangan daw magkaron ka muna ng isang strand ng puting buhok bago may makadalaw sa'yo sa bahay. O kaya, baka ikaw 'yung may problema dahil natatakot ka sa iisipin ng mga magulang mo tungkol sa taong iyong gusto. Baka kasi sabihin nila na masyado siyang bansot/ matangkad/ baboy/ payatot para sa'yo.

"Baka kasi magalit si Papa."



10) Trauma

Dahil sa dami ng mga heartbreak na iyong nadama at emo songs na napakinggan mo na noon, sinumpa mo nang hindi ka magmamahal. Ayaw mo na. Sawa ka na sa paglalaslas ng pulso, este, sa paglalagay ng mga madramang stat message sa YM at pag-iyak ng balde-baldeng luha. Awwwww. >:D<>

"Pagod na pagod na akong masaktan!" *hikbi*



11) Your Ex-Lover Is (NOT) Dead

Yikeeee. Mahal pa rin niya ang kanyang ex at hindi siya maka-get-over the person. Boo. Pilit pa ring inaalala ang mga tawanan, iyakan, at PDA moments nilang dalawa kahit 'yung ex niya ay nakikipag-(insert verb here) na sa ibang babae/lalaki. Sasabihin mong nakapag-move on ka na pero pag nagkwentuhan tungkol sa pag-ibig, tandadadaaaaan! Siya na naman naiisip mo.

"I'm over him/her..." *tapos iiyak bigla :))*



12) Ayaw

Dalawa na namang kaso ito. Una, ayaw mo lang talaga magka-"someone". Hindi ko na pipilitin ungkatin 'yung dahilan pero may mga pagkakataon lang talaga na ayaw mo. Ikalawa naman, baka...ayaw kasi sa'yo nung gusto mo. Pwedeng ayaw niya sa'yo dahil may girlpren/boypren siya, busy siya or whatever, o kaya ayaw ka lang niya talaga at wala ka nang magagawa kung ganun. :(

"Ayoko pa magkaboypren/girlpren e." o "Hindi naman niya ako gusto."


so ikaw, yes Y-O-U, WHY are you still single???

***************

The reason I hate the most from the above list is Number 8 "Wrong Time". Cause there is no right or wrong time for love. It's not for us to decide whether it is the right time or wrong time. So when is the right time? When you have accomplished goal # 1 or 3 or so? When you're already slim and has a waistline of 24? When you don't feel insecure about everything already? Well my dear time won't wait for you. Stop making excuses and grab every chance you get. Don't say, "why should i do this or that?" ask yourself, "Why not?" That's precisely the reason why I said yes after pausing for a minute or two when Paolo asked me if I wanted to watch it with me. There's no reason not to do it!

Ate Kathy in her brief stay in Manila found herself a romantic fling with one of the cabin crew. Why then have I not yet found one? Well because I know better! Believing in fate/destiny or the best way to put it: God's chosen time is one good way of looking at why you're still single. Who are we to rush and demand that it should be now when God says "Wait, patience my dear child"? And reason #2 is also not a bad reason to be single. There's no one single portrait of perfection. It is subjective. But yes, Ive said it before and I;ll say ti again: There are people who are perfect for each other. Square peg to square hole, and round peg to round hole. Reason 8 is busy? One can and should never be too busy for love. There should always be room for love in one's life. Because life without love is a life not worth living! Hope you're reading you single hot guy that I know! Hahahaha. And Reason no 12 "Hindi naman nya ako gusto". Wrong! If he doesnt like you, well neither does you! Tell him it's mutual, darling! It's mutual jans. It is! Haha bitter. Hehehe as if. Time check 1:05am. Been typing non-stop for 46 minutes now! Time to sleep! Last work day tomorrow then I'm off to 2 days off! So rewarding :)

July 27, 2008

Lifehouse didn't play a lot of songs I wanted to hear such as Everything, Sick Cycle Carousel, You Belong To Me, and (drum roll) Somewhere in Between! I specifically remember Jason Wade saying in one of his interviews that a lot of people think that Everything is their best song and that if they didnt play it, he thinks that they would probably get shot by one of those super fans! Well, Jason, I am your super fan and you're lucky I didn't shoot you! Why oh why didn't you play it? And my favorite song Somewhere in Between, how could you have not played it tonight? You traveled half the globe to perform for us, why couldn't spare a few more minutes to play a couple more songs?

Hmm//enough. I am already whining. And I don't like whining. Let's turn the page and look at the bright side. He did play Hanging By A Moment, You And ME, Take Me Away, First Time, Broken, Whatever It Takes, Blind and a couple more! I ever heard Bryce sing (he sounds just as good as Jason trust me!)! I did hear Jason say he's in love with the Philippines. And hello, the Philippines is a such huge part of me, so he loves me! Haha what an analogy! And I was also able to shout at the top of my lungs: "I LOVE YOU JASON!" while the whole stadium was surprisingly quiet. I grabbed the chance and just shouted like no one cares! That was plain crazy. My throat still hurts til now and it's been about 4 hours already since the concert. But hey, it was worth it! To tell someone or to shout to someone those words with thousands of people as hearing witnesses to your cracking voice, well that is something! And my friends couldn't stop laughing! Okay, that was stupid. But sure was fun! I never thought I'd use this word again after CCT with Glory (Convergys), but I have to say it! The performance was stellar. We obviously wasn't satisfied because of the songs left unsong but hey, Jason and the gang did a terrific job! All the jumping and banging of that cute head of Jason, it was as if he was from another planet! He was out of this world! And that voice of his, as much as I love Matt, I think Jason's voice is a lot better! I think he has the best voice in this world! Yeah, outshining everyone and anyone! This is the day that my 1-week obsession with him ends! So I'm gonna pour it all out! Yeh! Jason Wade is adorable, sexy and oh so hot, in a very cute, wholesome and Disney prince charming kind of way. He is like Prince Eric to Ariel or Alladin to Jasmine or Dimitri to Anastacia! He is that kind of guy! Haha. And Bryce is cute also, in a high school musical kind of way! Haha. The drummer? Skip. The fourth guy, skip. Haha. All in all, the concert was worth my upper Box B ticket of P990, whatever that means. :)

Finally, I got the chance to fly with Michael whom I would opt to call Captain Galvez in any of Cebu Pacific's premises. I was an astronaut today. Just figure out what the colloquial meaning of "astronaut" could be. Clue: Afloat? Floating? Ding. But this was a learning experience for me. To always be in the moment! To never let my mind drift away while on the job. Cause I am a fly girl, not a space girl. Haha. To not think that too far ahead cause that could cause you to skip on some important things to do now. Do the things you have to do now. Be in the moment and not lost in your thoughts. Do what you have to do in the next 5 minutes. Your mind has to be where your body is. Do what must be done right now. Later will become now eventually so don't worry about later, or tomorrow (Disclaimer: as long as you get the big picture). Be in the here and now. Focus on the job on hand! And always remember that you have a chance to redeem yourself so don't make a fuzz over it. Everyday is a chance to improve one's self. To learn and master one's self. To love one's self!

Gotta sleep. 3rd day of flying tomorrow! And oh, one thing I've learned more about today. Responsibility not just to actions, but to things! I lost P500 today and I don't know how! I stained my sister's new hot pants with burrito sauce! Now I am soaking it with liquid detergent as Mr. WWW suggested, hope it works! I have learned the value of taking care of my belongings especially someone else's! Tsk. Tsk. LESSON LEARNED THE HARD WAY. But it's all good. ALL GOOD.

I've had a brush with the Secret once again. I may not have the book as I've only read it once when Doty had me borrow it. But now I have DVD, and the motion picture is interesting and amusing! Law of Attraction. Ask, Receive and Believe. Gratitude. Visualize. Emotions as Guide. Acting on Inspired Thought. Recognizing and Grabbing an Opportunity.


Indeed.

July 19 2008 Saturday. It's a numbers game.

Short recap of how my day went. It went well of course. Ü I almost got late because Tito Fredy was at our house early this morning. I arrived at the office for sign-in exactly 5 minutes before reporting time. I was supposed to fly with Jacqui Manzano and Paula Chan but was transfered to 967 which was Davao Cebu Iloilo then deadhead from Davao to Manila and arrive at Manila at about 10pm. I failed to bring prizes for this 3-leg flight so I had to rush as fast as I could! Then one minute after reaching the rear part of the plane after a tumultuous round trip, before I knew it, all the passengers have already boarded and then I had to do headcount! R2 is way too easier! But then for me to do good as L1, I had to master being L2! This Udon guy was really helpful! There should be more cabin attendants like him! Anyway I am too sleepy to continue. I have a feeling I might be L2 tomorrow, let's see. I need more practice as L2 anyway. So let's see :) This small sketch pad with notes on infant location and seat location of those going to the lavatory should work! Cause I know that clicker doesn't work for me. And bringing along a pen and paper could be troublesome but I know I can do away with it in the future when I get the hang of being an L2 already. :) Tomorrow I'm going to have brand-new flying-with-you mates! I seem to feel anxious whenever I'm flying with people I haven't flown with. But I guess it's normal. Cause I don't know anything about them. But I should know that they were also once newbies! That wwe should adhere to Cebu Pacific's goal of making every flight a FUN FLIGHT! And don't they say that one should TRAVEL LIGHT? Just enjoy the flight. Be happy! Do your job well and be happy. Learn everyday. Tomorrow is a 2-legged day! Coolness! :) I get to go to church after! And maybe catch Dark Knight at ATC with momsie Jino and Jana and Ethan! :) Can't wait! Only few movies are worth watching with the whole family and this Batman installment should be one of those films!

And oh! I'm thinking of reading one article a day by Evan Marc Katz. I am learning from this dating expert!

Bounce Back from Rejection
When millions of people search for millions of people, there are bound to be a few missed connections. And it's human nature to get hurt and to take it personally. I have rejected so many guys in the past! I am shocked by the sheer volume as I mentally recall all the guys I've met and tried dating once or twice and even those who lasted for months. Most of them have never spoken a word to me since being rejected! And I completely understand. But I too have been rejected a lot of times! Well, not really that much. Maybe just once or twice. But there has been a number of guys whom I've wished so hard would pursue me but hadn't. For a girl, that already meant rejection I guess. Because not being pursued upon meant that the guy was not interested because if he was, he would have done something right? So now I'm not gonna wait any longer. I need to not expect to meet the one every time I get up my bed and go to work, or to the mall or at the beach or at the library etc. I'll just live it all to chance! I've always loved surprises! I'm a huge fan of surprises and of fortunate accidents! As Elee told me, her encounter with her special someone was by chance. But of course, I have to be always ready when fate comes my way. Surely, I'm not gonna let it go by! I'll grab the chance when I get it! I'll always be ready when the lightning strikes!


The issue: Going after people almost out of my league
Well, my opinion on this issue, no one as in NO ONE is out of my league. Why limit myself to a certain bracket? If I think someone is super-attractive, everyone does as well. And me? I can choose whomever I want - most likely a guy who is very attractive, very successful, very close to my age, and very nearby. Why? Because I can. I can have anyone I want. But I won't have just anyone. If let's say you are very attractive, very successful, very close to my age and very nearby (I actually know someone who fits in this criteria), it doesn't mean I'll choose you and be in love with you. No, sir. I won't choose you unless you choose me too. If you don't want me, I don't have the privilege and the luxury to spend precious time on you. I know what I want. And I know what I don't want. I don't want a guy who doesn't want me. I am not going to settle for anything less than LOVE! The poem below captures what I want in a man, what I'm looking for in a man, and what I want to know about him:

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I WANT TO KNOW what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I WANT TO KNOW if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I WANT TO KNOW if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I WANT TO KNOW if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I WANT TO KNOW if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn’t interest me if the story you’re telling me is true. I WANT TO KNOW if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy. I WANT TO KNOW if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence. I WANT TO KNOW if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes”! It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I WANT TO KNOW if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children. It doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I WANT TO KNOW if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I WANT TO KNOW what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I WANT TO KNOW if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments. I WANT TO KNOW if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own heart.

Lovely, isn't it?
I know this one guy at the office who is snobbish! Gee, he may in fact be not bad-looking but for me, he becomes so NOT attractive. So this is good. I'm learning to veer away from wanting guys who doesn't want me. It does takes only practice. Way to go, Jess. You're doing great. I have learned to get over being gotten over with. Moving on is becoming so easy to do now.

I think I have already learned that it is undeniable that love is pretty rare and special. And quitting on love can never be an option. It is simply is not an option. Love is too special. It is too important. My new view: Incorporate love in my life. Like joining a gym for a year, rather than a month, this is a door that needs to constantly be kept open. I can still go to bars and parties, get set up, sign up for classes, volunteer and talk to strangers. Expand your universe to people you might not meet everyday. And to think, I don't meet the same people everyday! Remember, I am not one of those earthlings (for definition, see entry below)! Everyday, I have different passengers, I fly with different cabin crew and pilots! This is such a special job! That's why sometimes I think that this is too good to be true, is it? Then I feel a twinge of fear - fear of losing this job. I guess, this fear of losing something is somehow a measure of whether something or someone is really important to you! Because you wouldn't want to ever lose something or someone that you love and hold dear to your heart! That's why you work at keeping it! Just like in a relationship. I don't want to risk losing my job that I decided to forego Lifehouse if ARMS doesn't give me a flight schedule that would allow me to see it. Same way, I don't wanna lose myself that's why I want to set aside time and financial security for myself! I fear displeasing God that's why I do his commandments. I don't want to lose my friends so I don't neglect them. But then I've read today that true love is felt through true loss. Yes that's true because sometimes you'll never know how much you value something or someone until you lose them.

Opportunities are everywhere. I know a lot of people who found love through dating websites. Tita Celia who now lives in Australia with the man he met on the net. There's tita Leah. And my ninang Eeth. Maybe I just might try it too one day. I am not closing my doors. In fact, I am opening more windows and even creating windows! As Felicia told me, it's a numbers game. The more you put yourself out there, the higher the chances you'll get what you're looking for! Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find. Knock and the door will be opened to you.

July 19 2008 ..To bits and pieces

I'll go sleep in a short while. I just had to put here the details of my CSC examination because I totally forgot about it already! I just googled my name to see what results it would yield and the Civil Service Commission page turned up. Tsk. Tsk. So the website's http://www.csc.gov.ph/PPT031107/csro13ppt_pro031107.html

CIVIL SERVICE COMMISSION REGIONAL OFFICE - NCR
25 Kaliraya St., Quezon City
CAREER SERVICE PROFESSIONAL EXAMINATION
MARCH 11, 2007

Lined Item 672

Examinee Number 264565

PINLAC, JESSEBEL G

It's good to read newspapers daily. I just might get a SUN triple line soon. Maybe I could cut back on prepaid load and be able to communicate more with my friends and family. It's important to always stay connected. I'll force AJ and Gilly to get a Sun too! :)

I don't ever want to obsess about designer clothes, bags and shoes. Man, pleasssee.. what is so desirable about having someone else's name or initials on your things? And I don't see the need of spending hard-earned cash on these things, total waste of money! There are other plenty of ways to show off that you have money, such as helping the poor and less fortunate maybe? ding!

I want to be healthier and fit. I am looking forward to that beach getaway me and Gillian are thinking of having some time soon. I really do need to lose some weight then. And I'll make it happen every day. Gradually. Slowly but surely. Nothing too drastic.

• Cold water on an empty stomach will cause body to increase your body core temperature, and therefore burning calories. So do this.
  
• And then the usual routine of taking a shower, dressing up, putting on makeup which takes 30 minutes up to an hour. Right after that, have breakfast. A bowl of cereal with skimmed milk (non-fat please).
  
• And then off to work! Well, there's no allotted time for the typical exercise routine. So I suppose going to work through walking and taking public transportation could count as exercise? Well why not. From my house (yep, my house, I just might be the title holder and nominal buyer of this house where I've lived for 15 years now!) it takes about 5-10 minutes to get to Molino Road. They say running isn't good for the bones, that it is really walking that benefits the body! Thank goodness I'm in love with walking!
• And my job is strenuous no kidding! Walking along the aisle while the aircraft is still pretty much ascending is tiring, almost feels like I'm on a hike!
  
• Unbelievable enough, I love airplane food! I don't care if it's Carmelinos! If it's free, it's delicious! Hahaha! I just have to stay away from rice, fried food, junk food, and sodas (with the exception of coke zero and pepsi max please?). But of course, nothing drastic. Everything in moderation, including moderation. If you can;t eliminate these food altogether, just lessen the amount. But with rice, I think I can do away with it. I did it before, I can do it again!
  
• Green tea. Or Judy Anne's Fitrum which is essentially green tea extracts? Cause green tea's been proven to stimulate metabolism. Eat light. Small meals. But just make sure food is good and fresh before you get back at them.
  
• And here's my favorite part: "Try to engage in reading rather than watching T.V., researches have shown that you burn 19% more calories reading, than watching T.V." I love both. But reading is my first love! I even plan to do walking while reading to increase the calorie burning!
  
• Drink lots of water. Oh yes I do. As a matter of fact, I am standing now to grab a glass. BRB.
• Snack on healthy food such as veggies fruits and nuts! Oh I'd love to! I'll be sure to allocate that in my budget!
• Wait 3 hours before you sleep after having a meal at night.

I'll do the above and be ready to be pleased with the results! The above is mainly about diet and lifestyle. Exercise is three parts: Cardio, Stretching and Weight Lifting. Oh yeah, in everyday normal instances I get to do all. Cardio-walking, running, etc. Stretching-Closing all those overhead bin compartments had me stretching out my arms and now I think I actually improved my stretch cos I can now easily close two OHBs with both arms at the same time with less effort. And with weigh lifting, what, you think those hand luggae aren;t heavy? You go ahead and try lifting them up to the compartments! And I guess I need to do sit ups for that abs. And have to maintain my posture!

Some interesting trivia: In urban dictionary, a flight attendant is defined as an Attractive female employed for safety purposes on aircraft.

1.	flight attendant
	What a cheerleader becomes when forced from the utopian fantasy of school into the real world. Due to the strict academemic and intellectual prerequisites of working at McDonalds, Bambi decided to become a flight attendant instead. by The Shreevester Oct 6, 2003 email it 0 comments - Well, one doesn't really need a diploma to become an FA. But hey, not all FAs are like Bambi here. 2 out of 3 of my best friends are Fas and they graduated from reputable universities with honors! And so did I!
2.	flight attendant
	Waiter/waitress in the sky. Did you hear about the flight atttendant who was so dumb....the others noticed? by Leo Hungwell Jan 1, 2004 email it 0 comments - A common stereotype. And stereotypes are just that - stereotypes.
3.	flight attendant
	1.Attractive female employed for safety purposes on aircraft. 2.Derogatory term used by ugly girls (who never get a shag) to describe good looking girls. Male usage: Hey look at that flight attendant, she's beautiful. Jealous uglyfemale usage: Hey look at that flight attendant, what a bimbo.

- This one's quite interesting! Haha! And I do get that scrutinizing look from male passengers' girlfriends whenever I pass by their seats. Yeah, girls, I am one beautiful and SMART flight attendant whether you like it or not. So get over it!

1.	fly girl	32 up, 4 down
	A fly girl is a particulary good-looking female. Known for making guys take them out,buy them things and drive them places just for their company. Until they get bored with him. "that fly girl wont even look at you with the car you drive"

- Ehm..

3.	Fly Girl	13 up, 26 down
	A term to refer to female cadets in the Air Force. She's a Fly Girl stationed at Peterson AFB

- I'm not with the Air Force but stationed near it.

1.	trolley dolly	31 up, 4 down
	An often over-painted but nonetheless glamourous and sexy female cabin crew member on a commercial airline, so-called because they offer drinks and other refreshments from a trolley pushed down the centre aisle. Once, it was acceptable to also pinch or grope them as they passed with their trolleys but alas, no longer. Now they must use more complicated methods of picking up men that they fancy. Otherwise known as "tarts with carts" or "flying mattresses ". Were known once for offering "coffee, tea or me". "But mammy, I've always wanted to be a trolley dolly!" "But you'll be nothing but a flying mattress!"....

-I'll take glamorous and sexy but enough with the derogatory remarks. I'm not buying those! Other FAs all over the world might be doing these stuff, shame on them. Gee, when did I become so self-righteous? Sorry! :) It's just that I carry my wings with dignity. Getting this job didn't come easy for me nor to any of my batch mates!

And now, my favorite urban word of the day: EARTHLING!

.	earthling	13 up, 4 down
	A creature bound to the earth who realizes earth will always be home although its forced to live with religions, politicians and overall clueless people to the final objective of the life force making it almost impossible to breathe. Cant we all just behave? I mean come on....... by zafod beeblebrox May 15, 2003 email it 0 comments
	- Yeah, please let us all behave, especially the male earthlings!
2.	earthling	2 thumbs up
	description used by pilots and cabin crew who work in the airline industry to describe those who work in a job which doesn't involve flying. I met my wife in New York. She's a nice chick for an earthling.

-Ooh my favorite! If those who work in a job which doesn't involve are called earthlings, what do you call those who work in aviation? Extra-terrestrial beings? Birds? Supermen/super girls? Haha.. Nope, simply call them flight deck or cabin crew or flight crew. I like it when the Pilot-in-command addresses the FA's through the Public Address system as "Cabin Crew". I dunno why I like it, I just like the sound of it! Hehe.. Cabin Crew btw doesn't have an urban meaning in the urban dictionary. That's it folks! I'm gonna have my beauty sleep now.

P.S. I got a call from Geri today and it was a pleasant surprise! I didn't expect to talk to Sheryll, Francis and Sir Greg. It was nice to hear their voices once again! I just might visit them at CBC one of these days, Christmas maybe? I'll coordinate with Elee and KO for a visit, maybe when Germaine is here. :) My past will always be a part of me. I love me to bits and pieces!

July 18 2008 The Wisdom of Experience

True wisdom comes in the form of synthesizing past experiences in order to prepare for the present. If you don’t have past experiences in a particular realm, that’s when it becomes useful to seek advice from those who do.

I completely agree with what Evan Marc Katz said above. I'm not one who has no experience in the whole dating scene but I haven't had enough experience to be an expert. I've had my share of meeting different kinds of men. And yes, I am very quick to know whether it's a YES or a NO. Cute guys are rare. Cute smart guys, even rarer. Cute, smart guys with their heads on straight? That’s the holy grail. Keep looking for it. I’m doing great. I know I'll find it. And I know I'm not settling down for anything less than I deserve. I recognize the good and the potential in every person and situation. People always say that dating isn't easy, but, with enough practice, I do think that we can all become “experts” on human behavior.

Today I have come across this website: http://www.evanmarckatz.com/articles.html. This is just what I need! Advice on this arena which I'm really clueless about most of the time. I browsed through one article and learned a lot! It is about being attracted to people out of your league. For most of the guys who are attracted to me, they just don't meet my standards. They try to get my attention and I just ignore them. These guys need to accept the fact that just because they find someone desirable doesn't mean that that person has any interest in them. And vice versa. It doesn't mean that because I like so and so, he has to return the favor. Itmay not seem fair but all is fair in love and war. People do have choices. You can't twist someone's arm into giving you a chance - anymore than anyone can do that to you. Remember eh, the guy in Singapore who was so positive that if I only gave him a shot, I'd fall for him. But I am so certain that it is a NO and it certainly was. Guys have to respect it when I say no. Likewise, I need to accept it also that when a guy doesn't call me, it only means he is NOT interested in me. I have learned that many times! It wasn't my fault, nor is his. It's just that I don't fit in his standards just as other guys don't fit in mine. In this case, persistence may not work. Though it could work in some cases. People do break their rules all the time, don't they? We actually expect others to break their own rules and criteria, although we wouldn't consider altering our criteria for anyone else. I'm not saying that this is a good thing, mind you. I'm simply saying that people are entitled to their preferences, even when those preferences box them in.

So how do we overcome this problem?

• Find out who is open to you and from there, select. Instead of consuming your energy on guys that perfectly fit your criteria but are in a relationship already, or are ignoring you, or simply doesn't recognize your existence, do yourself a favor and don't pay attention to these guys!

• Loosen up and look outside the box. Do not limit yourself to your criteria. Push your upper and limits and you'll be shocked at how many more quality people are now available to you. Be willing to be surprised. Take risks.

• Persist even if the odds aren't in your favor. I always take persistence as a positive trait. You have to be persistent in getting what you want. When it comes to persistence, Jasmine and Julian's love story showed that LOVE PERSISTS. If it doesn't persist, it isn't love. Also, there has to be some element of chance, of fate. Just as Elee, yes the sarcastic ex-perennially single gal Eleanor Chua told me that she met her special someone by chance and now, she's in pure bliss. When trying to insist yourself on someone and convince him or her to give you a shot, you may be given a shot and still not work out. Or you may simply be shut down. You can't be too disappointed if it doesn't work. Make as great a case as you can. Do what you can. But after all has been said and done, just accept that some things are meant to be and some aren't. But of course, it is your call. Never giving up is still always an option.

I had a heart to heart talk with Gillian today, yes, through Yahoo Messenger, what a blessing YM is! We are in the same boat. I am so glad to have found a confidant and a true friend and sister in her. She is truly priceless. I really want the best for her and Louie or whoever is right for her. I just want to see my girls happy. Kyt's doing okay. One down, three to go! Hehe.. Ethan is persistent on playing the PC. I will just have to give in to this cute little boy. To be continued.. :)

July 17 2008 Thursday

I was feverish last night, but I still managed to go tow work. I love my new job (yup it's only one month old) and I intend to do good at it! I was commended this morning by Ms. Mariksi due to my tw0-in-a-row 100% score in check ride for ATR and Airbus A319. My next check ride will be next month and I couldn't be more excited. I don't wanna put pressure on myself to do a perfect job every time but I will certainly do my best! Today was my first brush with an irate customer at the exit row seat, those guys refusing to properly stow their laptops. It wasn't such a big deal after all, nothing that I couldn't handle!

I need to set goals straight. I know the importance of looking my best, of having a great hair, perfect skin, slim body, things that this job entails, but how much can I afford to spend on these things? I MUST prioritize, to make FIRST things FIRST. To remember what my Dad taught me which he wasnt pretty much able to practice for himself: the concept of ESIB. Earn Save Invest Buy. Investments must come first before Expenses. In the financial area, I have learned much from the past 3 years of working and career-shifting, I know I know better now!

As to my personal life at the moment, could it be that I have hit rock bottom already? Date-less, guy-less, relationship-less, fling-less! Later I had one of those momentarily drama moments with my parents about me not finding a man for myself, about the possibility of being an old maid *thanks to dad for not giving reassuring words that led me to sob continuously at the dining table with my mom and my younger brother Jino! They both tell me that maybe I really need to be not so choosy anymore. But no! Not just anyone will do! I believe in the abundance of men. And I believe in God's providence. He is just asking me to wait for His perfect time.

In my spare time, I try to read as much as I can! There are so many wisdom and knowledge to be found on books, articles and any literature there is if we only find time to READ. There's a quote I read that "We miss 100% of the shots we don't make." Just now, I know I promised that the I won't ever talk about this guy but yes, he's proving to be a real challenge. he doesn't have a friendster account, thank goodness for that! I'm rally starting to hate Friendster, I've thought many time of deleting my account, maybe I just will. But maybe not, cause a lotta people I only get to keep in touch with through it. Anyway, this guy I might still encounter in the future. Maybe in one of my future flights. Cause you see, what's the probability of me taking the same flight as Tita Vivian's? Less than 1%! And yet, it happened! Is it really true that all the good men are taken? No sir. I refuse to accept that as a fact! Sometimes the best things that happen to us are unplanned and totally unexpected! Meeting AJ Kyt and Gillian I didn't plan it, and it was one of the best things that ever happened to me!

It is true that we should plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark. But as many things are within our control, some things just aren't. And that the beauty of life. It's full of surprises! I don't need to know everything else in life. I don't need to know every detail of how my life will go on every day. I don't need to know exactly when and where and who. I just have to keep my values intact. To exercise daily by walking with the Lord. To believe in God's goodness and blessings. To have faith and hope for always. To trust God completely. To report to Him for duty. To love and cherish my family and friends. To hold on to true friends. Things don't need to be so complicated. SIMPLICITY is BEAUTY. Live everyday as if it was your last. That's the way to live life. To cherish every moment because every thing only happens once. And yet live responsibly. To have no regrets. To make lessons stick. To enjoy every human emotion as this is part and parcel of being HUMAN. To appreciate art and music. To take delight at watching kids. To be a child at heart. To know the things that truly matter. Wealth, happiness and success are not goals in itself but are by products of goals achieved. To set goals and realize them. To continue dreaming. To broaden one's horizon and look at the infinite possibilities. To accomplish one goal at a time. To be patient. To be hardworking. To be determined and persistent. To celebrate life ALWAYS. To laugh one's heart out. To dance like nobody's watching. To sing one's heart out! To hug a friend. To embrace a child. To kiss a mother. To be grateful for your father. To love and take care of one's siblings. To love and care for one's self. To live a life full of love. To live a life with purpose.

July 16, 2008 Tuesday. What's important is at the end of the day, I am happy. And tonight, I am. And will always be!

Today was a roller coaster helluva day! The day started somewhat wrong because I missed my DFA appointment! The day would have ended in disaster as well but hadn't thanks to my sister Jana, oh I love her. Yeah, there are times I just wanted to strangle her but boy will I kill for her. ^^ She is and will always be my baby sister! For the first time, I was able to open up to her and tell her my plans, my fears, my goals etc without fear of being misjudged or criticized by a younger sibling! We laid down our cards on the table. We came up with solutions. And I am very thankful of full of hope. Just earlier I had a fight with my Mom but not as intense as the one we had last April. At least the last time we actually fought was 3 months ago, not bad! hehe.. Arguments are normal. It's not what we argue about that pains each other but it's how we argue. I've learned a lot today, I really did. It's time to call it a day. I will talk to God and pray until I sleep.

I am Jesse and I'm happy..

14 June 2008, Monday - Wee hours in the morning

This will be about a boy. I just met him recently and it's undeniable that I am attracted to him. Well my best friend Angeline told me I wasn't obvious enough for him to notice (thanks aj..) but whenever I look at him, it's as if my eyes couldn't hide it! It's as if my eyes are dead giveaway! I've always thought I knew I could pull of any lie but I guess there are some things that are not easy to lie about -- > Channeling Joo Yu Rin! ^^ Well I just confirmed that what I really find attractive in a guy is CONFIDENCE and damn, SENSE OF HUMOR! CHARISMA, HONESTY.. This guy is oozing with confidence that makes him soooo soooo attractive. He smiles a lot and laughs easily! He is frank, could even be brutally honest maybe but careful not to be tactless or rude. He puts his heart on his sleeve. He expresses himself with no inhibitions. He easily opens up to friends and invites people in. He is honest, no bullshit, no pretenses whatsoever. He expresses his mind. This could be the first and the LAST time I'm going to talk about this guy. I kind of feel helpless during times like this when I'm attracted to someone and I couldn't really do anything about it. If only I could do it like Cacay did.. court the guy! Haha get out! I like this feeling. This feeling of being attracted to someone. Because it gives me hope! Knowing that there are guys out there that I actually want to be in a romantic relationship with! And the attributes I took notice from him are I believe, things that I see in myself! So maybe it's true that one looks for someone who is most like us. It probably has something to do with compatibility and chemistry in all aspects - intellectually/mentally, emotionally, physically etc. Two people have to meet each other at all levels. For one to enjoy the company of the other, both should have a common ground. These people should like each other, should complement each other. One has to enjoy being with the other. Enjoy talking to each other. Oh well, I don't know if I make sense or not. All these are theories. I may not know all about love. But I try to learn what needs to be learned. I am continuously learning and changing some of my belief systems if need be. I don't know exactly how love works, how it starts, the whole process etc. But I know that love need not be complicated. Love is simple, it should be. So I am not going to stress myself and do crazy things just to see him or reach out to him. I am not doing that again. I have learned that he either likes you or he doesn't. I am my best self now but I know that I am always becoming a better improved version of myself everyday. I always reinvent myself and advance! And advancement in itself is perfection so I believe. I am my best self now so I am not going to wait for tomorrow for him to like me. If he is to like me, he is to like me NOW and not tomorrow, not yesterday. I live in the HERE and NOW. So I am not going to do the habit of mañaña on this area of my life. When love comes, then it comes. Not tomorrow, not yesterday but today. I know I have set goals for myself. I am not going to wait for me to accomplish my goals before I think about LOVE. Cause the universe is not going to wait for me. When it comes, I should TAKE IT! The time that it comes is the RIGHT time. There is not such thing as right love at the wrong time because there is not wrong time for love. If it is the wrong time, then it is not the right love. But then again, back to the contestion that when love comes, TAKE IT! Don't let the opportunity pass by as once said by Julia Roberts in "My Bestfriend's Wedding". ^^ I don't know what the future holds. But I am 100% optimistic about it. I shall embrace love when it comes my way. It will happen. I know it in my bones. I have learned from my mistakes in the past. Men are simple-minded creatures hehe. They either want you or not. And it's not really hard to figure out where you stand., REALLY. Just take pleasure in knowing that when a man likes you or wants you, he will do everything to get you! Just as if you want something really badly, you can have it! Just as I know I'll have that schedule with Tin exchanged so I could see Lifehouse :) If he wants me, he'll go get me. Just as Paolo didn't go after me, it only meant he didn't want me and never really did. What was so difficult to understand about that that I got stuck with the idea of him for almost 2 years. Oh well, thank goodness I knocked in some sense into my brain lately. Better late than never! And I am sure the lessons will stick, how could they not when I've learned them the hard way?! I wouldn' ever wanna go to a foreign country again just to get over some guy whom I never stood a chance because he just wasn't into me, HE WAS SOO INTO HIMSELF. The 2 articles about LOVE and COMMITMENT I've posted below are from Gillian. They say A LOT. And these articles will serve as reminder about the lessons I've learned from being obsesses/infatuated/head over heels/etc with a guy from China Bank. I am happy that I know I am wiser now. :) Seeing this guy with another girl gives me a slight uhm, a twinge of jealousy! Yeah! Haha and this emotion is something TOTALLY NEW TO ME! I've never been jealous before I believe! haha! My oh my! Anyway I may see this guy again, maybe not. Maybe he'll hook up with one of my friends. If that happens, so be it. It doesn't mean he and I don't stand a chance anymore. Remember how guys get recycled, no a better term is "re-shuffled" is my circle (or circles?) of friends?! Well, maybe I could be a benefactor or beneficiary of that re-shuffling. HEHEHE^^ Whatever happens, I am happy. I am at peace with my heart and with my mind, so I am happy.

I love GOD. And I thank him for the people in my life. I love my bestfriends. I love my friends. I I love my family. I love myself. I love what I do. I love my goals. I love everyday. I love my life. I love living my life.

I got perfect on my ATR Checkride yesterday! They say one is only as good as his or her last achievement. Well, I will keep on doing my best! Tomorrow I could have my Airbus checkride with Sir Pau. I shall continue to strive to be my best possible self and also know that one could always do better the next time. I will be happy everyday all the time. :)

Love is Commitment.

An excerpt from something I read most of the time, 6 years back when my beliefs weren't shaken and my heart untainted. ;)


The most important, most critical component in successful loving is commitment. Not love.

It's easy to love without commitment. People do it all the time. Easy to love, to give of oneself
for a while. But commitment implies bonding in such a way that one promises to keep the fires of love burning indefinitely. It also means shutting one's heart to the possibility of loving another who might even be more attractive, even more lovable. Not easy. This is why solid commitments are not at all as common as we are led to believe. In fact, more often than not, I think that the commitment two lovers make are not equal. What I mean is that the commitment of one might be a whole lot more or a whole lot less than the partner's. We see
it all the time. One loves more than the other and is more committed than the other. We have often seen lopsided love relationships where one partner is giving so much more to the relationship than the other.

But writers and poets seem to always indicate that love isn't just a two-way street, but an equal two-way street. That hardly ever happens. It is impossible to determine exactly how much a man loves a woman or how much a woman cares for a man. Love cannot be measured and that can be a huge problem. You can love someone and tell him "I love
you" and you're telling the truth. But how much do you love him? Enough to let him court you?
Enough to marry him? Enough to die for him? THE GREATEST TEST OF TRUE LOVE is
commitment. And the greatest indicator of deep love is deep commitment. I have heard people say all the right words, make all the right moves and pledge undying love, only to walk away weeks or months later. Were they in love? Sure they were. But not enough to allow them to hold strong in their love. Not enough to keep a commitment regardless of the pain.

Lover gets this sinking feeling when there is a sense that one is more committed than the other. When one is giving a lot more than one is receiving. When one's love is a lot
more solid than the creaky love of the partner. When a couple believe strongly that their commitment to each other is rock solid, there is a deep sense of security, a feeling that it's
OK to give all because the gift of yourself is safe in the hands of the beloved. If, however, there is doubt or, even worse, the conviction that one is engaged in one-way giving, in a one-way commitment that is lopsided, then there is a tendency to pull back and not give as much. And when that happens, Love BEGINS to fade...

In the countless counseling sessions I have had with troubled couples over the years, there has always been the problem of a failing commitment on the part of at least one of the partners. Unless there is the raising of the level of commitment, the relationship is doomed. It's finished. Sooner or later the stresses will take their toll and the relationship will begin to fall apart. On the other hand, look carefully at couples who are still very much in love after 20, 25 years. Their commitment to each other cannot be shaken. Neither can their love.


Love should never fade because when it does, it's just an emotion. Love will never fade because it's a DECISION. Once done, is something you stand up for and fight for. No matter what.

Love..

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing, Andyour voice caught within your chest? It isn't
Love, it's Like.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right? It isn't Love, it's Lust.

Are you proud, and eager to show them off? It isn't Love, it's Luck.

Do you want them because you know they're there? It isn't Love, it's Loneliness.

Are you there because it's what everyone wants? It isn't Love, it's Loyalty.

Do you stay for their confessions of Love, because you don't want to hurt them? It isn't Love, it's Pity.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand? It isn't Love, it's being Unconfident.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat? It isn't Love,
it's Infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them? It isn't Love, it's Friendship.

Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of? It isn't Love, it's a Lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake? It isn't Love, it's Charity.

Does your heart ache and break whenthey're sad? Then it's Love.
Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret? Then it's Love.
Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are? Then it's Love.
Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong? Then it's Love.
Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts? Then it's Love.
But do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and elation pulls you close and holds you? Then it's Love.
Would you give them your heart, your life, your death? Then it's Love.
Now, if Love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we Love? Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?

Because it's... Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the
romance in a relationship and find out you still care for that person...

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is more painful
is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

Love comes to those who still hope although they've been disappointed- to those who still believe although they've been betrayed, those who still love although they've been hurt before.

Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

08 July 2008

I only have 4 hours left then I'm off to work for an early morning flight. Just for the record, I didn't intend for this site to become a blog. I didn't intend for anyone to read this. And I dont think anyone ever really does cos no one has ever acknowledged him/herself by putting on a comment or something.

Anyway moving on, as Ive mentioned before, I'm gonna have my month-sary with CebuPAc on the 10th. But I'm not still very sued to the flight routine etc. I still catch myself thinking and replaying actions in my mind. My goal now is to just master the art of being a flight attendant. To be a good flight attendant. And a good flight attendant is a happy flight attendant. I've read somewhere that everything that happens to me has probably happened before to someone else, though not exactly in the same way. I'm figuring out what the life of a flight attendant really is. I watched Oprah the other day and the inspirational speaker said that we have to make our strengths at work! A strength is an ACTIVITY that strengthens us. That invigorates us. Something that we look forward to. Well, for most of the participants in that show, they needed a career change, aka a new job. But for one participant, it wasnt a new job that she needed but a new attitude. It's all in the attitude. The job itself is just a BONUS!

In Cebupac, I was just so happy I got in! It opened doors for me! It opened my eyes to opportunities. Because of Cebu Pac, I am now here in the Philippines and not in Singapore. I am with my family maybe for the next 2 years not unless I get assigned to cebu or Davao. For the first time after graduation, I finally have the time to think of the future. To think deep about it.

In Chinabank, the future I ever thought of was either in Australia or with Paolo. With Australia, well My AUnt Pet and Uncle Boloy are there and I have wonderful cousins over there. Its not a bad place to live. Maybe Mom could find a partner there since shes going there in September. But sometimes I ask myself what could Mom really want for herself. Her marriage with Dad was a failure. At least Tita Manang and Uncle Jack still talk to each other. But my parents are a different case. Well it's not something peculiar considering that in all other world, spouses even could go beyond the acceptable norms and treacherously kill the other just like what I saw this afternoon at Discovery Channel. Whatever it is, I plan to celebrate life with my Mom and Dad whether they live in the same roof or not. As for me, I love spending time withe my Mom. Eve if it's just watching TV together, eating dinner together, sharing a conversation, walking together on the way to the bakery etc. She is just a wonderful company! she is one of my strengths! Well, a strength is supposed to be an activity, but yes, spending time and sharing ordinary or special moments with my Super Mom is definitely one of my strengths! And I intend to make the best out of our time together! I am learning a lot about life from my parents. I'll make sure I wont make the same mistakes. So that their mistakes wouldnt have been in vain. I am becoming very stingy lately, for the past month I really havent bought anything for myself or for anyone. I am anticipating an expense on Lifehouse so I'm trying to offset it with cutting back on other expenses for good or for the mean time. I really need to prioritize. My parents dont live with their parents now. They have their own kid - us. And in the future, that will be my concern as well. I will; be living my own life without my parents' supervision, I'll be building my own family with a spouse. And how things will depend on the decisions I make today. I will not focus too much on the future cause I dont want the future to rob the present. I will not dwell on the past but make sure that lessons from the past stick. I will enjoy today. I will have fun everyday. I will celebrate EVERYDAY. As for Paolo, he is still in my life. For the first time, we are really friends. My mission to get over him when I went away was finally accomplished! Now I know that I am not to depend on a guy for support, at least financially. So that when I meet a guy and marry him, it will all be for the right reasons which is LOVE. My sister has a job and she's curretnyl supporting the family. But sooner or later, she'll go and marry Ernest. Good for her. She wasnt able to save for her future and she will be dependent on the guy. That is ommon for Filipino women. But that is not something that I intend for myself. Thanks to this article from a magazine I got from Ate Jackie. It is easy to be overwhelmed by so many things but I also learned that for that reason, our brain is programmed to pay attention only to things that we are looking for. In a way, it could be law of attraction. I also believe that the universe gives us what we deserve just as Jim Rohn said. God gives us what we ask for and what we need. So we need to ask for the right things, now do we.

When I was in Singapore for 5 months or so, my mind was fixed on forgetting Paolo wasnt it. But I was unsuccessful just until recently. So we focus on the solution and not on the problem. Ever since, I have been all about change. About being on the go. About chasing something. And now, I am steady. There were things I've tried before or thought of trying that now I'm sure I'm not going to do again. Why do somehting you've alreasdy done before? I am all about risks. That I;ve learned about myself. So it's a breather that I am now thinking of staying with CebuPacific for a good Two-years. And in two years, a lot could happen. And I couldnt be more excited. The future intigues me. But nothing excites me more than the present. In 2 years, Ernest will be back to get Jana. Other changes include Jino being in college. Maybe a simple IT course will do him good. Mapua maybe. If he doesnt decide for himself, then I'll give him options top choose from. I could see him in Singapore. Just as Ate Ruby and Kuya Evan are there, maybe Mom can go there as well since Jana is considering settling down in Malaysia. Well at least all of us could provide a home for Mom in Singapore. And Jana is just a neighboring country. She could even drive all the way from Malaysia to Singapore. Maybe Singapore wont be a stranger to me after all! And Australia is not too distant from Singapore. Once you get a citizenship or PR, then things will be so easy for us. I dont see Mom in the US so maybe that should be crossed out in my list for now. After this 1st part of my life, meaning, we have 2 families according to Justice Reyes' Civil Law - a family of orientation and a family of procreation. The first one I didnmt have a choice, its the family I was born into! It was God-given. :) But inmy family of procreation, it would still be God-given but I would play a big part on it too! Cause I would need to be listening anbd working closely with God so I'd make the right decision. :)Anyway I figured the first part of our lives in this planet is spent with family of orienation and overlapses with the family of procreation. It's a gradual process. One wouldnt even notice it at once. So it's very important to be reflect on our lives at different stages/phases. Now this topic reminds me of the story that says that the thumb reprents our parents, the index our siblings,the middle finger = GOD. the ring finger our spouse.and the pinkie our children. Put your hands together palms facing each other. Then bend the middle fingers and press them against each other which symbolizes a rock.God is our rock. He is our strength. HE IS MY STRENGTH. Now look closely at the position of your hands and fingers. All four but the ring finger couldnt be released. It means that we have to hold on to our spouses. Because our parents, siblings and children as sad as it may sound, will leave us some day. But out spouses will be there for us forever. If and only if Goid is in the center of the relationship because without Him in the center, then the ring finger will just be releaes just as easy as the rest. This house in Cavite is a house my Daddy built. And this is my home. This house occupies a very special place in my heart. It is only rioghtful that dad give this house to Jino. This is Pinlac residence and the name will go on. This could become an ancestral house maybe. :) Cause Jino will have it inherited to his son as well or a daughter if no son hehe. As for the ladies of this family, which I'm very proud because all three ladies are strong and intelligent and fierce! We are women of Gonzalez as well. Lola Josefa is my idol. :) She is my heroine as well. I consider the world my home. I know I'll be able to tour this planet and it is something I look forward to! Which brings me back to the topic of being a flight attendant. Read on..

I am a flight attendant and I'm happy. :) This is one of those goals that I was ahppy to accomplish! It was very easy for me, even the training. Yes, I didnt veen miss a single episode of Roswell while I was in training! I get to keep my life. So what does it take to be a flight attendant?

You have to have a sense of humor and be extremely tolerant towards all kinds of people from every background. If you're easily jaded, it's not for you. They day that FA jobs is one of the those with high-turnover rates. Well in the Philippine setting, probably yes because people aim to transfer to Qatar or Emirates for higher pay! Or maybe, some people try it for a while to know if its for them or not. One FA said that "You have to be a free spirit with no commitments." Maybe, maybe not. I may not have a boyfriend but I am not happy-go-lucky. I have commitments to myself and to my family. I also have learned to say no to other people without offending them. I figured when I say yes to myself, it becomes easier to say no to others. If youre wondering what those things Ive learned to say NO to, NO to dates I dont need cause I'd rather be home reading a book, watching a pirated dvd or sleeping. NO to gimmicks. I love going out on bars but only when I'm with AJ or Gillian! hehe why so? because I friggin dont have a car! And I dont want commuting home alone to be my problem anymore! I really need and want to learn to drive and have our black family car registered. And I will. Let me just plan my budget for the year or at least for the next 5 months until I get regularized. I've always liked smiling and attending to passengers on flight but on my most recent flight wchih was to Kuala Lumpur I almost struck a nerve! There were just too many people asking for my attention, bottled water, hot water, sandwhich, medicine, and my golly, efficascent oil!! Especially rhis guy who asked for a biogesic then after that asked for efficascent oil. And on top of tat, people from left and right keep on asking for stuff! Why did the CCA have to move along the aisle so quickly? Why didnt the passengers ask for her attention when they saw I couldnt yet attend to them?! wahhhhh! So I guess I need to assert myself more. I actually appreciated what this foreigner dude told me: a soda and a sandwhich whenever I'm free. Awww.. what a nice thing to say. :) I just need to be more tolerable. The CCA taught me to just deal with the customers near the service trolley cause 2 people need to be operating the trolley and not ONE! Im glad she didnt get pissed. She has lots of patience afterall. :) Good for me. Cause beginners really tend to suck. Thats why I am learning as much as I can now. It is true that one really has to roll down the aisle with the trolley slowly. hehe. No need to rush. There is plenty of time. It is good to do it slowly but surely. Especially since money is involved. Give what they asked for then ask them for the money. One customer at a time. There is time for everyone so dont hurry.

Being a flight attendant is tough work. While traveling is often one reason why many people are interested in the position, it can also be disappointing. Many times the flight crew doesn't even get off the plane at their destination and are unable to explore the sights.

Well yes that is so true. But wait til I get my unlimited domestic tickets then I'd explore the Philippines like a tourist chameleon. I'll find the best affordable spots! and I'll bring my parents and family. Or most of the time, I could be a free spirit and finish a book over the weekend at Boracay! Hehe. If celebrities hit Boracay 1 or twice a month. I will 1 or twice a week! hehe. Gee, I'm reminded I need to study ATR because my IOE /checkride is on Saturday. Yes I will.

But flight attendants such as Molly love their jobs; they enjoy interacting with customers from all walks of life and enjoy being "free spirits." It takes a special kind of person with a certain lifestyle to pull it off. If you've ever flown before, you'll understand how easy it is to spot the ones who enjoy this routine and take pleasure in being a flight attendant.

Yes, I agree that it takes a special kind of person with a certain lifestyle to stay in this job and love it! I'm sure Titit Peluchie and Trixie are among these people. They say developed love is stronger than the typical love at first sight. I am generally happy in my job. Not all the time everyday but everyday! (hehe a borrowed line from Charlotte my alterego) And I know I will grow to love this job more everyday. I am learning. I am interested in learning anything and everything abiut aviation. I am fascinated about it! I enjoyed Kirsten Dunst's movie "Elizabethtown" where she played the role of a flight attendant. It is indeed a job about places and faces. About enjoying what this planet has to offer. About seeing the sunset, joyriding. Crying. Laughing. Living. Loving. Yes, finding love. Oh yes, it could be the story of my life. Anyway its about 11pm now. I need to prepare a bit, read some first aid maybe. Or lie down and rest for a while. Writing and expressing myself in here without any audience is a pleasure for me. Ideas flow into my mind when I write. My mind becomes clear. This is something good. I should get a laptop sometime soon or not. I need to apply for a credit card as well. One will do. I need to reactivate my Banco de Oro or apply for a new one as well. Maybe just the one in SM Bacoor or SM Molino. I'll have my hair fixed as well. I need to look my best everyday. All the time everyday. Cause you wouldnt want to see me right now hehe.. I'm a mess,. been sleeping all day! Anyway, gotta go. Later!

Playlist 1

Included in this playlist is the song "24". It is a lovely song. But I couldn't quite understand the meaning. Then so, I googled it and here it is:

"I wrote this song near the end of my 24th year on this planet. Wherever we run, wherever the sun finds us when he rises, we remain stuck with ourselves. That can be overwhelming. Sometimes I feel like my soul is polluted with politicians, each with a different point of view. With all 24 of them in disagreement, each voice is yelling to be heard. And so I am divided against myself. I feel that I am a hypocrite until I am one, when all of the yelling inside of me dies down. I've heard that the truth will set you free. That's what I'm living for: freedom of spirit. I find unity and peace in none of the diversions that this world offers. But I've seen glimpses of truth and that's where I want to run" - Jon Foreman

The lead singer said he wrote the song on his 24th birthday, and its about taking the time to look back on your life, like how you've messed up and how you can change to fix things. And this guy was here about a year ago, he ate BALUT onstage! He is so cool without trying to be cool! Haha, how I love musicians, not that I know one intimately. ;p I just think musicians are so interesting, the way they devoted their lives to music, doing what they love, and not caring about anything else. Well you see, there are so many things in this world in this LIFE that it could get overwhelming. We don't have to do everything in this life. Only those things that our hearts tell us. I am now listening to Switchfoot's songs. Music is so addictive. It gives an instant high!! Well I guess each of us has his or her own narcotic. I remember what Cacay once said, "If love was a drug, then I'd be convulsing now with froth on my mouth." In short, OD! haha.. but it was sweet wasnt it? Other people are addicted to work (workaholics) others to shopping (shopaholic) and this girl is addicted to love. Now, that's what I wanna feel! I wanna be sooo in love. Madly, passionately in love. They say it doesn't last. Well, what happens after the passion is gone, friendship happens. Aha, not that bad after all. The heart never forgets. So put all that passion into your heart. Anyway, I am so excited. I will see Lifehouse. Hear them, Feel them, Breathe their music, Taste Jason Wade. Nyahahaha.

I've been flying for almost a month now. And I am happy. Yes, I can't believe I actually am. Not miserable, but happy! I am having a good time. Enjoying the fruit of my rewards. I love LOVE love it that Vertical Horizon went here. It was one of the most unforgettable experiences of my life. And now Lifehouse? Could it be any better?! *squeals* ;p

Sure, there are ups and downs. Some days really happy. Some just okay. But I never want to fell "just okay". I want to be really genuinely happy. Oh well, now I know why Gilly said I am really Charlotte. I may not be very optimistic at all times, but I am optimistic every day! I am the most optimistic person I know, the most "babaw" as well. Well, one thing I know for sure is love makes me happy. Simple things make me happy. Simplicity makes me happy. Talking to Ethan relaxes me, gives me focus. Life should really be taken lightly. I have been in this planet for 22 years. I am not gonna be here forever nor are the people I love. So have a purpose in life. And by golly, do it. Be happy in this life. Celebrate your life! Do good. Live. Laugh. Love. Be successful. Be prosperous.

LIFEHOUSE Live in Manila!!! ` I couldn't and wouldnt ever want to miss this concert in the world! This is my dream!

LIFEHOUSE Live in Manila!!!
Jun 19, 2008

With Who We Are, their fourth Geffen album in seven years, Lifehouse, all still in their mid-20s, are really starting to enjoy the fruits of their success and have some fun. Their multi-platinum 2000 debut, No Name Face, produced “Hanging by a Moment,” a #1 alternative hit which crossed over to become Top 40’s Most Played Song, while 2005’s self-titled platinum effort yielded “You and Me,” a giant hit ballad that set a record by spending more than 60 weeks on Billboard’s Hot 100 chart, Lifehouse are not just the sum of their considerable accomplishments.

On Who We Are, singer-songwriter Jason Wade—along with drummer Rick Woolstenhulme and bassist Bryce Soderberg—gets back to the basics of what made him first form the band while still a teenager in suburban California. Says Jason: “We just love making music and feel really lucky to be able to continue doing it.”

Producing themselves for the first time with Jude Cole, who also co-wrote several of the new songs, that joy comes across unfettered on the rocking twang of the lead single, “First Time,” already climbing the Hot A/C and Top 40 charts, a fond look back at the butterflies and excitement of the initial rush of romance.

“It just felt urgent, like a first kiss, a first love,” says Jason. “Like the first time you realize there’s more to that relationship than you thought. I had to dig a little for that one, but I find myself at a place where I can write stuff that’s a little deeper than your average love song in terms of emotion.”

The approach was also pretty fresh. The band didn’t record demos before entering the recording studio. Wade brought in a skeleton of a song and the group worked on it as a unit. “Nobody really knew what they would be playing,” explains Woolstenhulme, the musical purist of the group. “We just cut it, listened to it and realized it was pretty electric…the kind of song where you just turn up the radio.”

Known for his brooding lyrics of teenage angst resulting from his parents’ divorce and his own poor relationship with his father, Wade explores more diverse songwriting topics this time around, putting himself into other characters in songs like “The Joke,” with its syncopated world beat, inspired by a newspaper article detailing the story of a British boy who hung himself after being bullied by schoolmates. Jason puts himself into the subject’s

shoes, with lyrics that could be right out of a suicide note: “When you find me in the morning/Hanging on a warning.”

The wrenching ballad “Broken,” with a chorus that recalls the Police’s “Every Breath You Take,” came out of a trip Wade took to Nashville to visit a dear friend waiting on a kidney transplant, as once again he identifies in first person: “I’m falling apart/I’m barely breathing/With a broken heart/That’s still beating/In my pain/There is healing/In your name/I find meaning/So I’m holding on/Barely holding on to you.”

Lifehouse’s love of British rock comes across in the avant-Europop of “Make Me Over” with its ethereal opening and falsetto vocals (Wade: “Sometimes you’ll do anything to be in love, even becoming someone else”), while the stark, Plastic Ono Band strains of “Learn You Inside Out” is one of the rare songs Wade penned on piano.

“I wrote it really quick,” he recalls. “We decided just to freestyle. It was one of those moments when we really grew as a band, being able to reach each other and know where we’re going.”

“This record came very naturally,” agrees Bryce, the newest member of Lifehouse, who cut his teeth on tour before entering the studio with his bandmates. “On the road, we’d throw a song out during sound check and it just flowed together. There was a great deal of spontaneity involved. We were into similar influences. It felt like we were on the same page musically.”

“We’re closer as a band than ever,” nods Rick.

The raw energy of “Disarray” deals with Wade growing up in a strictly religious family, where questioning wasn’t allowed. “Angels, demons,” he says. “We all fight them both, and anyone who pretends they don’t is not someone I want to hang out with.” In fact, the group was liberated by being left alone to create without outside interference or pressure. “This time around it was about not having any preconceived notions,” confesses Jason. “It was about letting the tape machine roll and getting the music down spontaneously. I’m at a place where it doesn’t matter to me what other people think. I’m comfortable being myself. I’m writing from an honest place, not thinking about who’s going to hear it, what they’re going to think or how they’re going to interpret it. The lyrics can’t be contrived. They have to hit you right in the heart.” One song that does just that is the album finale, “Storm,” which Wade wrote at 16 “when I was going through hard times,” and was included on the band’s first indie record, 1,000 copies of which were pressed back when they were called Bliss. The original version has been circulated over the Internet by the group’s fans and was even licensed by the television show So You Think You Can Dance. Wade decided to re-record the song when he realized how much it meant to people. “That was fun to record because of its starkness,” says Jason. “We love the idea of the title, surrounded by negative space, like the a cappella beginning. Because when you’re lost in confusion, no matter how much is going on around you, you’re still alone.”

With all their radio airplay, multi-platinum sales and awards, Lifehouse are still intent on raising the bar, which makes Who We Are a revelation both musically and lyrically. “It’s stripped down, very raw, the way we are live,” says Bryce. “We discovered along the way that less is more.” “Since Bryce joined, this really has grown into a unit with its own personality and style,” concludes Jason. “We established camaraderie on the road and gelled as a unit. This record defines ‘Who We Are,’ which is why that’s the title. The sound fits where we’re at right now.” With Who We Are, Lifehouse are free to be exactly who they are…a rock band with a gift for melodies and lyrics that touch people.

Now, Filipino diehards can watch LIFEHOUSE live when the band comes to Manila July 26, 2008 at Araneta Coliseum. The show promises to be the most explosive event of the year so make sure that you don’t miss this high-octane night. This event is brought to you by NoCurfew Watch Store. For inquiries on how to get your hands on these coveted tickets, dial 813-2617 / 813-2612.

Dating the Flight Attendant

by Chad Childers
Copyright 1999 - all rights reserved

Disclaimer:

This is not a guide to picking up babes. I know nothing more about picking up babes than the average charming, talented, successful young gentleman. Six feet three inches tall, with a whimsical smile, regular features, and a flat abdomen, there is nothing in me to attract the fairer sex. Other than three or four dates on weekends, and perhaps four or five during the week, I have lived the life of an anchorite. Except for three marriages, to two supermodels and a Miss America, I have been utterly celibate. Honestly, though, the care and feeding of today's flight attendant is a difficult task. Their lives are filled with constant stress, and the job can be very hard on relationships. How to handle such a quandry? At its root, I can suggest no better solution than the magician Merlin, when he told Arthur, "simply love her".

PFS: Pre Flight Syndrome

What's the best thing for a boyfriend to do for PFS? I've pretty much settled on staying out of her way, driving her to the airport and carrying stuff for her if she's short on time (we've calculated that it saves her 15-20 minutes because of not having to park (and probably another 5-7 minutes on a 20 min drive because I drive faster)). During our first year of dating, I drove her to the airport a *lot* and brought her flowers at least 50% of the time, but we had a couple of fights, and I had to stop doing it so much. I liked doing it because sometimes it was the only way I'd get to see her, and because it saved at least a full hour on the return end (or at least I'd meet her an hour earlier... I always used to meet her at the gate, which I rarely do anymore because the airport has gotten rid of a lot of parking meters). So, the fight had to do with my feeling that she didn't appreciate me going out of my way to drive her, she'd often be crazy with PFS, when she is really exhausted from the previous trip and not ready for the next trip, it gets worst at bedtime the night before. I managed to deal with that, but if she had a bad trip, PostFS set in, which "has a lot to do with exhaustion and just wanting to be alone, tired of playing the part, serving people and catering to others' needs and wants". A bad case of PostFS can get your head bitten off, hand her a rose and get ignored, so picking her up was causing stress rather than alleviating it (and I was starting to hate the airport too).

Stewardess vs Flight Attendant:

Although the term Flight Attendant was a big issue in the early days of political correctness, many FAs don't mind much if you call them a Stewardess (except the guys... there are no gay FAs*). The brits call them Trolly Dolly, which is by far the most creative nickname. The thing they do mind is that they are often intelligent, charming, educated young ladies who would otherwise be making much more money, and are now glorified flying cocktail waitresses. The kind of constant put-downs they get from rude passengers are bound to hurt anyone with any sensitivity at all, so expect your flight attendant to have occaisional problems with that. In addition, the fact that they are essentially blue collar, union employees, and some of the unions are not even on their side, since FAs are only a small part of what a big union does... and the fact that the pay is awful (more on that later) lead to a lot of unhappiness and frustration that you have to try to make better.

*My SO was on a trip with a bunch of male FA's, and she said "Wow, it's amazing that none of you are gay!" One of them replied, "Well, actually...".

The Agony of the Feet:

I've always rubbed her feet a lot, (I think she's making me into a foot fetishist). Ask any FA, and she will say that after a trip her heels are and her feet are aching. They walk and run around a moving vehicle constantly, and are forced to wear high heels in the concourse, shorter heels in the plane (not as high as in the past, but still bad) and pressurization makes feet swell and shoes doubly painful. What can you expect? Be thoughtful.

Home Life:

Forget about it. Friends, family, and boyfriends will just suffer. It is almost impossible to merely get on with the business of living - doing the laundry, paying bills.

Seniority:

Everything is based on seniority. Half of every class of FAs quits within the first year, that has been true since the 1950s. The senior babes get the better flights, get a schedule... that means they can bid for which trips they want each month, and know in advance each month where they are going and when, rather than waiting by the phone or with a pager for the airline to call and send them on a flight. Schedule holders can have some home life, the younger, Reserve flight attendants have none. If a FA has 7 years seniority, she might even be able to hold the same trips every month, but that can all change at the whim of the airline.

Scheduling:

My life revolved around her bidding for each month... she's actually been a schedule holder for three months now, so life is *slightly* less stressful.... Scheduling are the gods that arrange her life, and the devils that rearrange her life. It is worse for a Reserve FA, but you can never tell what they will assign her, until the month's bids are all in, and the trips are handed out on the basis of seniority. Then she has the opportunity to trade or drop trips, but she might wind up with worse trips than she got in the first place, and holiday weekends are always restricted, which means she will never spend the holidays with you.

Trips and Layovers:

She has to struggle with her luggage all over the world, so she'll appreciate it if you pick it up for her. On a layover, a crew bus will pick them up to take them to the hotel, they will all get checked in, then meet down in the lobby to find a bar. "Crew Culture" = Pub Hopping. Drinking, eating, and shopping are the only way they have to pass the time. A "slam-clicker" is someone who just goes to her room and shuts the door, rather than going out drinking with everyone else. The longer the pattern, (an individual trip can be 1 to 7 days long) the more she gets to know that particular crew... but she will never see that group of people again, she will be working with another randomly selected group of people on her next trip, which can start the very next day, or she can have up to 11 days of rest (a reserve has 11 scheduled days of rest to spread over the month, there is no such thing as a weekend off, unless you bid for weekends off and happen to get them...). FAA regulations require that a FA not work more than 7 days in a row, or you get an "FAR in 7 rest day" otherwise known as a "ZZ day". Some FAs actually like 1-day patterns, sometimes. What do they call 'em, returns? No layover means no per diem, but then she gets to sleep in her own bed. Well, that's a problem if I want her to stay over at *my* place... but that's a whole other story.

The fact that there are no regular coworkers means that friendships have very little chance to develop. My FA actually doesn't have a single FA friend, out of the 5000 based in Detroit. She will occaisionally work with someone she has worked with before, and may even exchange phone numbers, but it is no longer as easy as it was in the old days to always work with a friend, because the computer just assigns people where it needs them, and if you buddy bid you get the seniority of the least senior one, or worse, and then even if two FAs did try to get together off work, one of them would probably be gone. The subculture seems to encourage friendly behaviour while on layover, but it can be very shallow, temporary, and interchangable.

Passriding:

We take trips fairly often, and I pay for everything but airfare, but I'm not sure that helps... for one thing, when you want to go somewhere that her airline doesn't fly, getting tickets on another carrier is just as cheap as (and a whole lot more convenient than) using her flight priviledges. Makes you wonder why she keeps the job, because it certainly isn't for the money. Just between you and me, she's not the greatest traveller. Other than work, she actually hasn't really travelled as much as me, and I think I pack lighter. She loses her patience and gets pissed off at the slightest mishap (kind of funny when we were in Paris and she was all angry at the airline) and I have to calm her down... which I'm pretty good at, but not when she's angry at me. She almost always snaps at me when we're passriding... I think it's because she has the perception that NonRevs (that means Non Revenue producing passengers, although we *are* paying a nontrivial sum for my ticket, and I *am* a revenue-producing customer about 80% of the times I fly, because I usually fly without her, and you can only passride if she is with you) should bow, kowtow, and grovel to every lifeform in the airport, including the mold and bacteria in the inflight meals. Yuck.

Money:

What money? Flight Attendants only get paid for a maximum of 80 hours a month, because they only get paid for actual flying time, not all the time they're working to get the plane ready, boarding or deplaning passengers, cleaning up (it's hard to believe they have a union). The pay isn't even very good, per hour. So even though they have flight priviledges, they can't afford to use them unless they're married to someone with a real job. This will never get better, because there is a constant stream of young girls, fresh out of high school, who would do anything, take any salary, to be a glamorous flight attendant. The airlines get 1000 applications for every opening, and it is not skilled labor to open soda cans, break up ice, put the ice in cups, pour the soda, and hand it out with peanuts. The only delta to overcome is the six-week training class, which is intensive and grueling for the FAs, making them memorize the same ten-pound FAA manual they have to carry around with them on every flight, but the airlines could care less if they had to train a complete new batch of FAs every year.

Practically, remember that your FA won't have enough money to eat healthily, so think about getting her something for breakfast before and ice cream or something after a trip, and take care of her.

Infidelity:

It might happen in any relationship, but don't be surprised if your family make rude comments. They do have a bad reputation that way, from the "Coffee Tea or Me Girls" books in the '70s, and perhaps more FAs were that way back then. They are constantly getting hit on by passengers and pilots, it's a part of the job. If you give her any excuse, she has a constant stream of drooling, drunken idiots to choose from (yes, I'm talking about the pilots). Air crews are *hard* drinkers. (more on that later) If your FA girlfriend falls... I can't tell you what to do. Give her your love, and your support, try to get her to go to counseling, and try to deal with the hurt yourself, without letting it fester and ruin your relationship. The same as in any relationship, but IMHO it's about 75% more likely to happen with a FA - not because they're bad people, just because they are in a bad situation.

Alcoholism:

Air crews are not allowed to drink 12 hours before a flight, so they drink constantly right up to the point it's allowed. Drinking is a lot more prevalent on international trips with their 24 hour layovers, and frowned upon during domestic trips, where they may get fired if they are caught. Still, it's an extremely unhealthy, sophomoric subculture. Medical journals call it "job-based, peer-oriented alcohol abuse".

In 1990, three Northwest Airlines pilots were convicted of flying while intoxicated between Fargo, ND, and Minneapolis, MN. Two hours after the flight ended, the crew captain's alcohol concentration was found to be 0.13; he testified that he drank 20 rum and cokes the night before the 6 a.m. flight.

In 1991, the FAA began checking state driving records, and found 8,000 FAA-certified pilots in Florida had been convicted of drunk-driving offenses. The FAA was unaware of these DUI and DWI convictions because the pilots had not reported them to the FAA as required. In the next two years, 4,386, or 6.4 percent of pilots seeking recertification had DWIs (the more serious of the two offenses).

The Flight Safety Foundation says, "The number of pilots who lost their careers because of health or behavior deterioration resulting from alcohol consumption reached such significantly high proportions during the 1970's that the FAA established an airman education and intervention program in conjunction with the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, the Air Line Pilots Association and several airlines. Several thousand pilots have been treated for alcoholism and returned to flight duty."

A 1993 article states, "Airline pilots are at risk for alcoholism, although prevalence statistics are not known... possibly enhanced by psychological vulnerabilities. However, the development and implementation of this job-based, peer-oriented alcohol.... According to a retrospective analysis of identified aviators, 87% of alcoholic pilots of this major airline returned to flight duties after substance abuse treatment. Relapse occurred in 13% of those accepting treatment."

So, flight attendants will be encouraged to drink by their alcoholic pilot coworkers, but if they are tested and caught, the airline will make every effort to rehabilitate the pilots, while firing the flight attendant, not because she is actually endangering anyone's safety, just because she is expendable.

Death:

We won't even go into the day she was getting over a flu with a 103 degree fever, decided to go in to work anyway, and between the time I called her to confirm I was picking her up and when I got there (about 5 min) she managed to slice her hand open trying to cut a bagel... so I got to take her to the emergency room instead! Remember, if she's sick, she should take advantage of her sick time, especially if it's an ear infection. Never fly with an earache!

What to say about air crashes? I was scared silly several times, because her flight came in late and I didn't have any way of finding out what had happened. After a year or so, you become hardened to it, but there's always a chance that you'll lose the one you love to an accident, whatever her job is. You can't call the airline and find out what happened to her, because they have to protect the girls from the drooling idiots (the passengers, not the pilots, they don't do anything to protect them from the pilots). Just accept it as a fact of life, and go to church regularly.

Is it worth it?

No. Not if you love her, because it hurts you to see someone you love getting ripped apart inside. It's a bad situation, and although it gets better with seniority, a relationship with a FA doesn't come anywhere near having enough benefits to outweigh the tribulations. We've broken up because the job caused so much stress and gotten back together because she's such a worthwhile human being that she is worth it... and broken up for other reasons. The job had nothing to do with me dating her, and it certainly didn't make life easier. I knew her for years before she became a FA, and always liked her, which helped. If you get involved with a FA, don't expect it to be all glamour and fun. It's hard on both the FA herself and her loved ones. A very dear female friend of mine, on hearing what my new girlfriend did for a living, said, "Wow, a flight attendant? Cool! That's like dating a football player!" It's nice, but why couldn't I date a... cheerleader?

Heart Quotes

Heart Quotes and Proverbs

Doc Childre
True creativity quite simply starts with balancing your emotions and activating the power of the heart. Through practicing emotional management from the heart, you tap into the highest form of creativity possible--recreating your perceptions of reality.

Doc Childre and Howard Martin, The HeartMath Solution
Creating a joint venture between head and heart puts a power pack behind your goals. Getting your head in sync with your heart and harnessing the power of coherence gives you the energy efficiency you need to achieve changes that haven't been possible before. The head can notice what things need to change, but the heart provides the power and direction to actually bring about the changes....

Sara Paddison, The Hidden Power of the Heart
You may not always be able to feel a deeper heart feeling right away, but stay focused in the heart. The sincerity of your effort can reconnect you to your heart current and start the juices flowing. To plug in, think of someone you love or remember what feels good, maybe a fulfilling experience. Feelings help you remember.

Daphine Rose Kingma
Today, see if you can stretch your heart and expand your love so that it touches not only those to whom you can give it easily, but also those who need it so much.

Doc Childre and Bruce Cryer, From Chaos to Coherence
Presence is a rare quality in a world of 20-second sound bites, nonstop stimulation, and gnawing anxiety. What underlies presence? Clearly, it is not intellectual prowess or Mensa would rule the world. More than once we all have been bored to tears by the intellectual aloofness of someone disconnected from everyday reality, adrift in a conceptual universe of his or her own creation...Could presence be heart-generated coherence in the world of personal magnetics? People with presence have an ineffable quality about them; they are "present," surprisingly attentive, and undistracted. A fullness, a centeredness, a wholeness radiates from them. We enjoy being "in their presence." You can build presence. It is the natural radiance of heart security.

Doc Childre and Howard Martin, The HeartMath Solution
By using your heart as your compass, you can see more clearly which direction to go to stop self-defeating behavior. If you take just one mental or emotional habit that really bothers or drains you and apply heart intelligence to it, you'll see a noticeable difference in your life.

David McArthur, The Intelligent Heart
Love does not only transform our mental/emotional nature, it also involves the physical system of our body which goes through profound changes as well.

Chinese proverb
If I keep a green bough in my heart, then the singing bird will come.

Dr. Charles H. Mayo
Worry affects the circulation, the heart, the glands, the whole nervous system, and profoundly affects heart action.

Lao Tzu, 6th century B.C.
When pure sincerity forms within, it is outwardly realized in other people's hearts.

Kahlil Gibran
To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to.

Confucius
Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.

Carl Jung
Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart ... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.

François de La Rochefoucauld
The heart is forever making the head its fool.

Henry Clay (1777-1852)
Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the gratefully and appreciating heart.

James Earl Jones
One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter.

Charles W. Chestnut (1858-1899)
The workings of the human heart are the profoundest mystery of the universe. One moment they make us despair of our kind, and the next we see in them the reflection of the divine image.

John Maynard Keynes (1883-1946)
The day isn't far off when the economic problem will take the back seat where it belongs, and the heart and head will be occupied or reoccupied, by our real problems of life and of human relations, of creation and behavior and religion.

Frank Lloyd Wright
The heart is the first feature of working minds.

Frederika Bremer
There are words which sever hearts more than sharp swords; there are words the point of which sting the heart through the course of a whole life.

Chandogya Upanishad
There is a light that shines beyond all things on earth, beyond the highest, the very highest heavens. This is the light that shines in your heart

Tanya A. Moore
A person's world is only as big as their heart

Nietzche
The thousand mysteries around us would not trouble but interest us, if only we had cheerful, healthy hearts.

Goethe
All the knowledge I possess everyone can acquire, but my heart is all my own.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
What your heart thinks is great, is great. The soul's emphasis is always right.

Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)
The heart is the chief feature of a functioning mind.

Johann Von Schiller
Be noble minded! Our own heart, and not other men's opinions of us, forms our true honor.

Charles H. Perkhurst
The heart has eyes which the brain knows nothing of.

Helen Keller
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.

Jacques Bénigne Bossuel
The heart has reasons that reason does not understand.

H. L. Mencken
As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.

Benjamin Franklin
The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of the wise man is in his heart.

Jean Galoert de Campistron
The heart seldom feels what the mouth expresses.

Roberta Sage Hamilton
In our deepest moments of struggle, frustration, fear, and confusion, we are being called upon to reach in and touch our hearts. Then, we will know what to do, what to say, how to be. What is right is always in our deepest heart of hearts. It is from the deepest part of our hearts that we are capable of reaching out and touching another human being. It is, after all, one heart touching another heart.

Martin Luther King, Jr.
Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart.

Chandogya Upanishad 3.13.7
There is a light that shines beyond all things on Earth, beyond us all, beyond the heavens, beyond the highest, the very highest heavens.
This is the light that shines in our heart.

Lord Byron
There is no instinct like that of the heart.

Vernon Baker
Where is home? Home is where the heart can laugh without shyness. Home is where the heart's tears can dry at their own pace.

Evander Holyfield
It is not the size of a man but the size of his heart that matters.

Philip Robison
When the future hinges on the next words that are said, don't let logic interfere, believe your heart instead. .

Bob Hope
If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.

Justice Learned Hand
Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can save it; no constitution, no law, no court can even do much to help it.

Jalal-Uddin Rumi
Everyone sees the unseen in proportion to the clarity of his heart, and that depends upon how much he/she has polished it. Whoever has polished it more sees more -- more unseen forms become manifest to her.
Thanks to Hetty Watters

H. L. Mencken
As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.
thanks to Alan Bennett

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
The holiest of all holidays are those Kept by ourselves in silence and apart, The secret anniversaries of the heart...

Thomas Fuller, MD
Loquacity storms the ear, but modesty takes the heart.

Sue Bender
Listening to your heart is not simple. Finding out who you are is not simple. It takes a lot of hard work and courage to get to know who you are and what you want.

Henri Frederic Amiel
Man becomes man only by the intelligence, but he is man only by the heart.

Pope John Paul II
The worst prison would be a closed heart.

Deepak Chopra
The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers.

Louis Nizer
A man who works with his hands is a laborer; a man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman; but a man who works with his hands and his brain and his heart is an artist.

Charles Dickens (1812 - 1870)
Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts.

Antonio Porchia
In a full heart there is room for everything, and in an empty heart there is room for nothing.

George Steiner
The most important tribute any human being can pay to a poem or piece of prose he or she really loves...is to learn it by heart. Not by brain, by heart; the expression is vital.

Edgar Cayce
The purpose of the heart is to know yourself to be yourself and yet one with God.

French Proverb
Gratitude is the heart's memory.

Jean Jacques Rousseau
Nothing is less in our power than the heart, and far from commanding we are forced to obey it.

Theodore Parker
Wealth and want equally harden the human heart.

Great joy, especially after a sudden change of circumstances, is apt to be silent, and dwells rather in the heart than on the tongue.

Henry Fielding
A truly elegant taste is generally accompanied with excellency of heart.

Sir Winston Churchill
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

The prudence of the best heads is often defeated by tenderness of the best hearts.

Lord Byron
There is no instinct like that of the heart.

J.G. Holland
The heart is wiser than the intellect.

Katie Hurley
The way to the heart is through the ears

Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book
Have a strong mind and a soft heart.

Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book
Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody's heart.

The Land Before Time
Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely.

Unknown
If you begin the day with love in your heart, peace in your nerves, and
truth in your mind, you not only benefit by their presence but also bring
them to others, to your family and friends, and to all those whose destiny
draws across your path that day.

Thanks to Ken Lam
The mind doubts, but the heart never does.

Galatians, 6:9
Let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

Pascal
The heart has its reasons that reason does not know.

Woodrow Wilson
When you have read the Bible, you will know it is the word of God, because you will have found it the key to your own heart, your own happiness, and your own duty.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he know that every day is Doomsday.

Unknown
The heart has reasons which reason does not know.

Golda Meir
Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart don't know how to laugh either.

Menicus
The great man is he that does not lose his child's heart.

Mother Teresa
A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love.

Greek Proverb
The heart that loves is always young.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
All the knowledge I possess everyone can acquire, but my heart is all my own.

Psalms 90:10
So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

Dicky Fox (Jerry Maguire's Mentor)
If you don't have it here (pointing to the heart), it doesn't matter what you've got here (pointing at the head).

Michael Bridge
When our eyes see our hands doing the work of our hearts, the circle of Creation is completed inside us, the doors of our souls fly open, and love steps forth to heal everything in sight.

Baha'U'Uah
In the garden of thy heart, plant naught but the rose of love.
- thanks to Jerry Pegden!

Vauvenargues
All grand thoughts come from the heart.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the outward behavior.

James A. Garfield
If wrinkles must be written upon our brow, let them not be written upon the heart; the spirit should not grow old.

RAINER MARIA RILKE
Be patient toward all that is unresolved in your heart And try to love the questions themselves.

Emerson
What your heart thinks is great, is great. The soul's emphasis is always right.

TOM C. CLARK
I am convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile.

Vince Lombardi
Every time a football player goes to ply his trade he's got to play from the ground up - from the soles of his feet right up to his head. Every inch of him has to play. Some guys play with their heads. That's O.K. You've got to be smart to be number one in any business. But more importantly, you've got to play with your heart, with every fiber of your body. If you're lucky enough to find a guy with a lot of head and a lot of heart, he's never going to come off the field second.

Michael Bridge
When our eyes see our hands doing the work of our hearts, the circle of Creation is completed inside us, the doors of our souls fly open, and love steps forth to heal everything in sight.

Emerson
To believe your own thought, to believe that that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men,-that is genius.

The Land Before Time
Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely. .

Black Elk
Grown men can learn from very little children for the hearts of little children are pure. Therefore, the Great Spirit may show to them many things which older people miss.

John Bunyan
It is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart!

J. Krishnamutri
When we talk about understanding, surely it takes place only when the mind listens completely-- the mind being your heart, your nerves, your ears- when you give your whole attention to it.

H. L. Wayland
To value riches is not to be covetous. They are the gift of God, and, like every gift of his, good in themselves, and capable of a good use. But to overvalue riches, to give them a place in the heart which God did not design them to fill, this is covetousness.

Menius
The great man is he that does not lose his child's heart.

Unknown
The worst prison would be a closed heart.

Prince and the NPG
Live 4 Love, Without Love You Don't Live.

Lincoln
He has the right to criticize who has the heart to help.

Johann Georg Zimmermann
Never suffer the prejudice of the eye to determine the heart.

Sir Philip Sidney
In forming a judgment, lay your hearts void of foretaken opinions; else, whatsoever is done or said, will be measured by a wrong rule; like them who have jaundice, to whom everything appears yellow.

Robert M. Persig
The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.

Francois, Duc De La Rochefoucauld
Not all those who know their minds know their hearts as well.

Nathaniel Hawthorne
What other dungeon is so dark as one's own heart. What jailer so inexorable as one's self?

Bernard M. Baruch
Whatever task that you undertake, do it with all your heart and soul. Always be courteous, never be discouraged. Beware of him who promises something for nothing. Do not blame anybody for your mistakes and failures. Do not look for approval except in the consciousness of doing your best.

Katie Hurley
The way to the heart is through the ears.
Thanks to John Travis

Ralph Waldo Emerson
Without a rich heart, wealth is an ugly beggar.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Our own heart, and not other men's opinion, forms our true honor.

Thomas Carlyle
True humor springs not more from the head than from the heart. It is not contempt; its essence is love. It issues not in laugther, but in still smiles, which lie far deeper.

Unknown
Outstanding leaders appeal to the hearts of their followers - not their minds.

Seneca
I will govern my life and thoughts as if the whole world were to see the one and read the other, for what does it signify to make anything a secret to my neighbor, when to God, who is the searcher of our hearts, all our privacies are open?

Bernard M. Baruch
Two things are bad for the heart--running up stairs and running down people.

John Adams
Grief drives men into habits of serious reflection, sharpens understanding and softens the heart.

George Bernard Shaw
There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it.

Rumi
The only lasting beauty is the beauty of the heart.

Mother Teresa
A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love.

Greek Proverb
The heart that loves is always young.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
To believe your own thought, to believe that that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men,-that is genius.

Carol Horos
Seeds, like hearts must open to grow.

Braveheart
Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it.

Unknown
Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.

Fred Allen
If you took all the sincerity in Hollywood and put it in the navel of a fruit fly, you'd still have room for three carraway seeds and a producer's heart.

Zelda Fitzgerald
Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold.

Washington Irving
There is in every true woman's heart, a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity.

Mecius
The great man is he who has not lost his child's heart.

Dylan Thomas
Light breaks where no sun shines; / Where no sea runs, the waters of the heart / Push in their tides.

Helena Petrova Blavatsky
The Path that leadeth on is lighted by one fire -- the light of daring burning in the heart. The more one dares, the more he shall obtain.

Junius
The heart to conceive, the understanding to direct, and the hand to execute.

Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan
One must be aware that one is continually being tested in what one wishes most in order to make clear whether one's heart is on earth or in heaven.

Mary Baker Eddy
To live and let live, without clamour for distinction or recognition; . . . to write truth first on the tablet of one's own heart -- this is the sanity and perfection of living, and my human ideal.

Walter Savage Landor
Heat and animosity, contest and conflict, may sharpen the wits, although they rarely do; they never strengthen the understanding, clear the perspicacity, guide the judgment, or improve the heart.

You can't make a heart love somebody,
You can lead a heart to love,
But you can't make it fall.

Anne Sullivan
My heart is singing for joy this morning! A miracle has happened! The light of understanding has shone upon my little pupil's mind, and behold, all things are changed!

Henri-Frederic Amiel
Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind.

Anon
The mind forgets but the heart always remembers.

Washington Irving
A kind heart is a fountain of gladness making everything in its vicinity freshen into smiles.

Raoul Dufy
What I wish to show when I paint is the way I see things with my eyes and in my heart.

Alexandr Solzhenitsyn
It is not the level of prosperity that makes for happiness but the kinship of heart to heart and the way we look at the world. Both attitudes are within our power . . . a man is happy so long as he chooses to be happy, and no one can stop him.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

Nicholas Chamford (1741-1794)
People are governed by the head; a kind heart is of little value in chess.

John Bunyan (1628-1688)
In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words with out a heart.

Sara Teasdale
It is my heart That makes my songs, not I.

Marc Chagall
If I create from the heart, nearly everything works; if from the head, almost nothing.

Mark Twain, Eve's Diary
It is in the heart that the values lie. I wish I could make him understand that a loving heart is riches, and riches enough, and that without it intellect is poverty.

Katharine Whitehorn
I am all for people having their heart in the right place; but the right place for a heart is not inside the head.

Henry Ward Beecher
The head learns new things, but the heart forever more practices old experiences.

Golda Meir
Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart, don't know how to laugh either.

William Butler Yeats
Too long a sacrifice/ Can make a stone of the heart.

Thomas Paine
'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.

Maria Mitchell
People have to learn sometimes not only how much the heart, but how much the head, can bear.

Martin Luther
The human heart is like a ship on a stormy sea driven about by winds blowing from all four corners of heaven.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky
It is not the brains that matter most, but that which guides them -- the character, the heart, generous qualities, progressive ideas.

Thomas à Kempis. 1380-1471.
... A man's heart deviseth his way; but the Lord directeth his steps.--Proverbs xvi. 9.

Marc Chagall
If I create from the heart, nearly everything works; if from the head, almost nothing.

Henry Ward Beecher
The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom.

Jean Giraudoux
There are no elements so diverse that they cannot be joined in the heart of a man.

Working on Cruise Ships: Seeing the Sights and Escorting Tours

by Robin Elderson, May 22, 2007

Thinking about working on cruise ships? Here are a few tips based on my observances and personal experiences working on-board!

Ah, the cruise ship life. Travel to far-flung destinations, sample exotic cuisines and cultures, make friends with people from all over the world, and actually get paid for it!

There are definitely a lot of great things about working on cruise ships. But the truth is, reality doesn't stop just because you're working on a cruise ship.

It may be a different form of reality, but it's still reality!

I worked as a Musician, Band leader and Assistant Conductor on 4 different cruise ships over 2 years, so I will cover some of my experiences over several articles in the hopes of making your cruise ship career more pleasant and rewarding.

See The Sights!

One of the greatest things about working on cruises is getting paid to travel all over the world! I've been to so many beautiful places. I've traveled through Alaska and the Arctic Circle during their summer, and what a lovely, surprising experience it was to be on deck in a light pants and sweater! I thought I'd have to wear a parka!

On the flip side, I can remember touring the Caribbean islands from about January to April. I was getting so used to it that I couldn't understand why the Canadian news said it was snowing in my hometown during March! Duh!

I've been to so many exciting and vibrant cities, including:

• St. Petersburg, Russia,
• Oslo, Norway,
• Helsinki, Finland
• Istanbul, Turkey

I've toured exotic, and picturesque countries like:

• Italy
• Romania
• France
• England

I've explored ancient biblical cities like Ephesus, and strolled the thoroughfares of the legendary city of Pompeii. I felt like Indiana Jones.

Sorry, now I sound like I'm bragging! But I will always have these adventures to cherish, no matter what.

Investigate Beforehand

I would recommend buying a few good tour and travel books, way ahead of time. That way, you will have time to go through them and make out a list of what you really want to see. Get the most current editions, because things are always changing. If you use older editions, you may disappointed to find an interesting restaurant or shop or something that you planned to visit is no longer there, for example. Watching travelogues is a pretty good idea, too.

Remember that you are usually only in a given port for one day. Of course, because you are working on the ship, and the circuit you are traveling tends to repeat itself every 7 or 10 days (normally), you will be in that given port almost once a week, so you can try and spread out your touring plans.

When I was in St. Petersburg, it was an overnight stay, but initially we only got there once a month, then later on it was about once every two weeks.

Volunteer As A Tour Escort

You can, of course, go wandering off by yourself (but not alone…I wouldn't recommend that…always travel with a group for safety), but one of the most effective and safest means of touring is to volunteer as a Tour Escort with the Shore Excursions department.

Basically, you are required to "babysit" the passengers on tour, make sure that they are ok and no one gets lost, perhaps answer questions if you can, etc. I had a knapsack filled with supplies like wet naps, Kleenex, bandages, etc. that was given to me by the Shore Excursions Dept.

Just remember you are NOT a doctor or tour guide! Tour guides know the places you are visiting like the back of their hand; that is their job. Sometimes passengers will ask you the ancient history of the land…how are you supposed to know that?

However you are an ambassador of a sort for the cruise line…so be polite, and give people a good impression of you. You may not have to wear your uniform while on tour, but you still have to wear a name tag. I never had any trouble during my experiences.

You may also have to fill out a report form, basically giving your opinion and rating of the tour. Kind of like being a judge on American Idol!

Try to find out as early as you can about volunteering…there is usually a waiting list for the really popular tours, and also a seniority thing going on. Those who have been working on the ship longer than you, or are perhaps more "important", will probably have first choice. Put your name in anyways, because you never know.

Being a Tour Escort is a great way to be part of a professional tour, one that has been researched and planned by the cruise ship, so you may get to see things in a way that you wouldn't if you just went off by yourself (again, which I wouldn't recommend doing alone).

Hope this was helpful for you! I will have more articles, so check in often!

http://www.bizcovering.com/Employment/Working-on-Cruise-Ships-Seeing-the-Sights-and-Escorting-Tours.26871

Extra:

Lynne Christen

Expert Guru

Lynne Christen relishes diversity in life as a travel addict and freelance journalist. Her passion for travel was born when at age ten she stepped onboard her first airplane ride. From that day on she was single-minded in her quest to make travel her life. Spending 22 years as a flight attendant with Eastern Air Lines opened the doors to discovering the world and a degree in Journalism provided the avenue to share her expertise and enthusiasm for travel and food writing. Lynne has traveled to 47 countries, throughout the United States and has sailed on 23 cruises in recent years. Lynne's passion for travel led to writing her first book: Travel Wisdom-Tips, Tools, and Tactics for All Travelers (Runner-Up Best 2004 Travel Book-North American Travel Journalists Association National Competition).

http://www.lifetips.com/expert-guru/1337-lynne-christen.html

- Isn't that cool or what? How old was I again when I first traveled through a plane? Between 10-12 yo probably. Plane to Davao then Ship on the way back to Manila. Both are lovely. What more if it was a Cruise Ship instead of Super Ferry? Will I ever become a Flight Attendant? That I'll figure out. I've only traveled 3 countries my home country included. The other two are Singapore and Malaysia (Yeah, Johor Bahru is Malaysia nevertheless!). I enjoy travel and I could make travel my life! I could if I wanted to!

Few Packing Tricks from a Former Flight Attendant, Now an Expert Cruiser

How to pack

When I was a flight attendant (lucky her), I lived out of a suitcase 165 days a year, and I learned a few packing tricks. If you follow these basic, common-sense tips, you can pack just what you need, safeguard expensive items and keep track of important paperwork.

* Pack your airline tickets, cruise documents, jewelry, medication, eyeglasses, makeup, camera and computer in your carry-on luggage, not in your checked baggage. Also, bring photocopies of your passport and prescriptions in case these items become lost.

* Also put a swimsuit and a change of clothes in your carry-on bag. It sometimes takes hours for your luggage to be delivered to your stateroom, and you don’t want to miss any ship time stuck in your traveling clothes.

* Pack heavy items like shoes and toiletry kits before packing the more delicate ones.

* Use shoe covers to pack shoes, and stuff socks, belts and other little items inside shoes to save space.

* Turn jackets inside out and fold them in half, then put them in dry cleaning bags. The plastic bags minimize wrinkles, which is why dry cleaners use them.

* Pack the bottom of your suitcase with trousers, letting the legs hang over the edge of the bag. Then pack the rest of your clothes, with lighter materials on top. In the end, fold the trouser legs back over the pile; they’ll keep their crease.

* Mark your luggage with bright colored yarn or tags to make them easier to spot and less likely to be picked up by someone else by mistake.

* Bring an empty soft bag for souvenirs, but don’t forget to claim it when you get off the ship. I recently did this; fortunately, I remembered it before I left the pier.

* Watch the weight of your luggage; airlines have a 50-pound limit on bags. If you go over, be prepared to pay a hefty surcharge.

Packing is a chore, but if you pay attention to the details, you can pack your cares away.

Bon voyage!

Travel and Cruise Jokes

Sighting from a Cruise Ship

The passengers on a cruise ship were fascinated by the sight of a bedraggled, bearded man on a small island. The ship passed slowly by as he desparately shouted and waved his arms.

"Who is that person on the island?" one of the passengers asked a ship's officer...

"I have no idea," mused the officer "but every year when we pass that island he goes crazy."

True (?) Quotes from Flight Attendants

"We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of the airplane."

"Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately."

"As you exit the plane, please make sure to sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

"Last one off the plane must clean it."

And from the pilot during his welcome message "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry.....unfortunately none of them are on this flight!"

Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

And last, but not least, one of our personal experiences: On an otherwise uneventful flight from New York to Chicago, the plane was rolling smoothly to the terminal. As always happens, one person clicked his seat belt open, and started a chain reaction of other passengers doing the same thing. Sure enough, the intercom clicked on, and we prepared ourselves for the inevitable standard warning to stay in our seats with our belts fastened until the aircraft was safely at a complete stop. Instead, the flight attendant, as if speaking to a two year old said in a sing-song voice: "No, no, no-oh!" People were still chuckling when they left the plane.

What kind of job could you get that let you travel or live in other countries?

• Flight Attendant
• Travel Agent
• Cruise Ship
• Teaching English in a Foreign Country
• Diplomatic Services
• Translator or Travel Guide
  
• Or simply immigrate to another country and find work there..

1. United States of America
   
2. Australia
3. Singapore
   

Why Cruise Ship Should Also Be an Option.

http://aviationblog.dallasnews.com/archives/2008/04/aa-flight-attendant-straighten.html - a good read when you're an FA already :)


http://regionalhelpwanted.com/Search/detail.cfm?SN=109&ID=12882613 - especially this one! Flight Attendant

"When I was in school, I had always wanted to be a flight attendant, but as it turned out, I was too tall." - Dee Kirkwood

- Hah! The irony?!! In my case, shall it turn out that I was too short? Gimme a break. In the US, 5'0 was the minimum! And funny that they even have a maximum height which is 6'3. So Dee, you are not just tall if you're beyond 6'3.. you're gigantic! And oh, the picture on the left is her, that's Dee Kirkwood. She worked for an insurance agency for many years and then after the nest emptied, she had the desire to become a travel agent and have been for over 23 years and enjoying every minute of it. She loves being around people and learn new things about different places people. Pretty much like me, huh? She didn't become a flight attendant but heck, she still was able to do what she loves doing. Jesse, always ALWAYS think outside the box. Moving on, below is some nice article on Why Cruise Ship Should Also Be an Option.

http://pcql.com/2007/06/15/cruise-ships-the-size-of-a-small-city/

These days traveling by sea and cruising seems to be one the most popular kinds of travel vacations. Many travelers are nowadays opting for cruise trips around the deep blue oceans on ships that are the size of a small city. These ships offer the travelers many amenities such as grand movie theaters, heaps of sumptuous food, water slides, and huge climbing walls. Maybe it is for these reasons that cruises have become quite popular today and many people opt to go on their vacation abroad the cruise ship to travel to places like Costa Blanca. Our article will help you to understand why cruise have become so appealing to people.One reason why cruises have become popular may be because of the price. Cruises are quite expensive and can destroy your budget as they include port fees, cancellation insurance, airfare and pricey shore excursions. However, just like in air travel you can often find some significant discounts through travel agents or online. The trips are also quite reasonable as it includes all the meals, accommodation and the on-board entertainment, which means that you won’t have to pay anything at all while you are on board.

While land trips offers their passengers a sense of security when traveling, cruises offers their passengers a great amount of freedom and the facility of setting their own pace. On cruises, if you don’t feel like getting up for breakfast then you can sleep in your cabin and just have to make it in time for lunch. However, on land tours, if you miss your breakfast, you also miss your bus for your trip and have to stay in your hotel for the whole day, while everyone else in the trip enjoys sight seeing. One of the main reasons why cruises attract so many travelers is because of its relaxation factor. After all you are staying in a floating hotel throughout your trip. It’s no wonder that it attracts passengers who are interested in celebrating birthdays, family reunions and honeymoons.

When you are traveling you often have to meet a lot of different kinds of people. Some of these people are nice and some are not. Nasty flight attendant, grouchy hotel clerks and shady cab drivers may often add to the stress that comes with traveling and reduce the excitement factor of your trip. However, in cruises you will not have to deal with such people, mainly because, everyone on the cruise seem to quite calm and relaxed. The staff, crewmembers and the fellow travelers on the cruise ship often seem to be much happier, nicer and accommodating than the average human being that you encounter everyday. On the cruise ship you will encounter a lot of different kinds of people who are from different backgrounds and who are fun to interact with. You will also be encouraged by the staff and crewmembers to interact with the different people on board with different kinds of activities and parties.

Last but not the least, one of the major reasons why cruises are growing in popularity is because of the variety that they have to offer. In today’s worlds there are around 200 cruise ships that float on the oceans and rivers, and the number is also gradually growing by the year. There are also many popular and well-known cruise ships, like the Norwegian, Royal Caribbean, Princess and the Carnival. These ships have their own fleet of ships. You will also get smaller cruise liners that are tailored for a specific region or a specific purpose. If you do a little bit of research you can easily find the perfect cruise ship for your vacation.

PR in Singapore

http://www.expatsingapore.com/content/view/1575
This site includes very useful info on applying for PR in Singapore. Knowledge is Power.

http://www.singaporerental.com/dynamic-4-pr_in_singapore.html - Usually it is easier to obtain a PR after you have worked and lived in Singapore for about 1.6-1.8 years before making your application.

http://www.indiaprwire.com/pressrelease/financial-services/200708164125.htm - point system, limit is 50 yo

http://www.expatsingapore.com/content/view/1007/46/ - JOBS.

Online Recruitment Websites

http://www.jobpilot.com.sg
http://www.jobstreet.com.sg/
http://www.recruitasia.com
http://www.careersingapore.com/home.html
http://www.jobasia.com.sg/
http://www.jobsdb.com.sg/
http://www.jobmaster.com.sg/
http://www.singapore-careers.com/
http://www.careerzone.com.sg/
http://www.jobbank.com.sg/
http://www2.jobsite.com.sg/jobsite-singapore.html
http://www.careermosaic.com.sg/
http://www.9to5.com.sg/

Things To Do In Singapore

The ideas here came from a Singaporean local guy named Ong Hui Woo. According to him, the best way to explore Singapore is to do what the locals like hi do. Okay.. So let's hear what you've got! :)

1. Grab your 20 mega pixel camera and head down to Chinatown .... ok, ok, 2 million pixel is just as good. Take some pictures of the old shops and their almost 90 degrees staircases. If you like taking pictures of elderly people, there are many sitting around the wet market doing nothing.
- Chinatown is like Baclaran, Quiapo and Divisoria. There are so many "Miss Beautiful, do you need souvenirs? Two dollaHs only! Okay, I'll make it 3 for 1 dollaH juist for you."

2. Go to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve for mountain biking or walk around and smell the green. Bring a bottle of water and shades.
- I'm sure I'd enjoy this some sort of a nature trip.

3. Take a ferry (cost only $2) to Pulau Ubin and explore the island. You can also rent a bike or worn out motocycle. Try taking a taxi if you can find one, they can climb rough terrains better than jeeps. Explore some of the Malay kampungs and prawn farms.
- SGD2 for some island eploration? That's pretty cheap. I like cheap! Haha. So i might check this out the chance I get.

4. Visit the Changi Prison. It's free entrance for both tourist and inmates. Drop by the museum and chapel for some WW2 history and photos.
- I never really liked visiting prisons, who does anyway? :(

5. Visit the Siang Lim Si temple at Toa Payoh. Watch people get blessed. For the non-believers, you can count the number of deities inside ... it should occupy you for one hour.
- No, thanks. I respect other people's beliefs. But counting deities? No, thanks.

6. Go to the East Coast Park for a swim and followed by satay-bee hoon at the hawker centre.
- This sure sounds fun! I've always wanted to go to the East Coast Park! And oh I love satay!

7. Take a train to Changi Airport. Buy two cups of coffee, find a comfortable pillar in the departure hall viewing gallery, watch planes take off and ask yourself why you are not on the plane heading for a vacation.
- If I ever do this, I'd probably be planning on my next Flight Attendant "kalbaryo".

8. Take a map and walk through MacRitchie Reservoir.
- This sounds boring. Even the name "MacRitchie" sounds odd. Mack? Richie?

9. Go Sim Lim Square and check out the latest laptops and hardware.
- I probably would since I plan to get myself a laptop.

10. Go jogging from Kallang River to Benjamin Sheares Bridge.
- Maybe I will. I'll tag my girl Kian along.

11. Take a train from the Tanjong Pagar Railway Station. You can go over to Malaysia and back within a day.
- I didn't know there was a train from Tanjong Pagar going to Malaysia, is there? really?

12. Try water skiing at Pungol.
- This must be the place Farizza goes to water ski! I should try this out once!

13. Make your own kite and fly them at the Marine South open field. After that, you can have a delicious steamboat dinner at the many steamboat restaurant nearby.
- Steamboat sounds yummy! I enjoyed the first time, I'll surely enjoy it the second time!

14. Go to the Flea Market at Sungei Road. Some people called it the Thieves Market because most of the things sold there are not bought by the merchants.
- I loved Flea Markets, anything there goes!

15. Go cycling at the Sembawang Park. Quiet and nice even on the weekends. Cycle to the end and you can see some of the big ships refuelling.
- Errr, Sembawang seems really far you know.

16. Bring your own pit and barbeque along the Upper Pierce Reservoir. But if you feel oily, don't jump into the reservoir, you may end up in Point no. 4.
- Ooops.

17. Visit the Tekka Market at Serangoon Road for a variety of fruits and vegetables. There is a stall selling one of the best Bryani Chicken Rice I have ever tasted.
- Let me try that Bryani Chicken Rice.

18. Go fishing at Pasir Ris Park.
- Fishing? Me? Ethan would surely love it!

19. Visit the Kinokuniya Bookstore.If your are dizzy after browing the library size bookstore, sit down for a cup of tea at the cafe inside the bookstore. If you feel like a bookworm that day, then head for the Borders bookstore for a second helping.
- Just like in Powerbooks? Now that's a treat!

20. Visit the Sungei Buloh Nature Park. Bring binoculars and do bird watching. After that, you can buy some hydroponic vegetables home at the nearby farms.
- Uhm, sounds too nature-y.

Superpower

What superpower would you have if you were an alien?

"I'd fly. I'm sure it's a very popular answer, but there's a reason for it. It would be complete freedom."

What's in a N-A-M-E?

I h